Sam's on a first date that starts weird and only gets weirder. Thankfully, there's a hot bystander who's ready to be a hero and save Sam from the horrors of app-based dating.

Sam Wilson's fugitive life, post-Accords: taking refuge in a kingdom that might as well have been magical, in a sprawling palace set against beautiful mountains and jungles, where there was a handsome man cursed and trapped in a deathly sleep in a glass coffin, and a kind and just king who was working to heal him, and a stalwart warrior from a far-off time who wouldn't leave his cursed friend, and, hell, Sam even knew a witch. Surely Sam could be forgiven if his thoughts turned to fairy tales and Disney movies. Bucky's kind of like a Disney princess. Sam would maybe like to be Prince Charming.

The time he stole his steering wheel (right out of his fucking hands while he was very much driving and trying to avoid being killed Steve it's not funny in hindsight). The time he ripped off Sam's wing and kicked him off a helicarrier. The time he picked Sam up by his face and threw him across the room. Sam has a long list of reasons Bucky isn't getting any favours from him any time soon.