"Right, everyone, pack light, no time to waste, if you can’t carry it forget you ever had it, let's move," says Hawke. "We're fugitives as of this morning and I give us about an hour before the combined forces of the Chantry decide they're not feeling forgiving. Less. We'll take ship out of Kirkwall and then we'd better split up." The gang leaves Kirkwall, and Fenris and Hawke are bad at communication.

Alistair calls, and Zevran answers. The problem is, it wasn't supposed to be Zevran on the other end of the phone.

Written for the prompt: Zevran gets a bad tangle in his hair and Alistair helps him get it out.

The AU where Zevran didn't become a Crow but instead ended up working at the local brothel, and he one day gets asked to meet a special client...

Alistair would really like for everyone to stop acting like he and Zevran are dating. Where do people come up with this stuff??? For an anon on tumblr who wanted 1,000 words of Alistair and Zevran being That Couple. :)

You can find some interesting things in those old, abandoned thaigs... ******* As a general warning: it's all 100% consensual, but there isn't a whole lot of negotiation on specific acts ahead of time, and there are a few (quickly corrected) mis-steps. Nobody gets hurt, or even actually upset, but I know that's a sensitive issue for some.

The assassin is flirting with him. Alistair is not impressed. No, really, he's not!

Alistair asks Zevran about his Crow training, and Zevran reveals more than he thought he would...

Alistair has spent his whole life hating himself for the things he wants. Zevran is just looking for a fun way to pass the time. What could possibly go wrong when someone who has no experience with sex gets into a D/s relationship with someone who has no experience with healthy relationships? Or: Alistair and Zevran serve as a case study on how to do (almost) everything wrong but still end up in the right place (eventually).

Fenris has dedicated himself to hunting slavers, but there's one inevitable outcome that comes from such a profession. And that is freeing mages.

In which 'Adaar' is totally not a desire demon from the Fade, because Haven is a camp filled with Templars. Also morals and mortals are both confusing, and he would really just like to go home now please.

Daylen Amell really wishes Alistair was easier to hate. Then maybe he could stop thinking about what he'd look like on his knees.

The words spill out of him before he can arrange them into something more coherent. “Anora, I think I might have a child.” (Or: in which Alistair Theirin realises he loves his wife.)

He blacks out, or something, because the next thing Varric knows he’s at his desk with Bran standing over him with a pinched look on his face. “I got a kid.” Bran’s face somehow pinches further. “Like, from a store?” Varric whacks his head against his desk. in which varric's saddled with a kid, and hawke tries not to get too attached

Daylen has no reason to trust this former almost-templar he's gotten stuck with. He's not sure why he finds himself doing it anyway, but while he's figuring that out, what's the harm in the two of them spending more time together? Or: Daylen has trust anger issues, Alistair has abandonment issues, and Zevran and Leliana are happy they're working through all that but would really like them to just kiss already. Barkspawn doesn't care, so long as they're petting her.

Zevran has trust issues, self-worth issues, and general issues. Alistair helps. When he's not making it worse. Or: Giving someone a ring is supposed to be a symbol of deep commitment. A symbol, dammit. Or: Clearly Brosca isn't a Tolkien fan; otherwise, she would know that rings found in questionable cave systems make terrible gifts.

Dorian and Bull experiment with a little spice. (Bull puts ginger up Dorian's butt).

When Cullen finds himself back in Kirkwall he's faced with several questions. Who should he tell, what should he say, and how is he going to fix Kirkwall before things get out of hand. Again. Time-travel fix-it where things go better but not great, because it's still Kirkwall after all. Alternative title: The real treasure is the friends we make along the way (and the slavers we kill with them)

For the prompt, "Zevran thought he would have to teach Alistair the finer points of lovemaking. Imagine Zevran's surprise when Alistair ravished him their first night. He would never underestimate Alistair or a warden's stamina again." Because it pretty much wrote itself.

Various short smutty Tumblr prompts from July (oops). Pairings and prompt will be noted in the chapter titles.

Isabela is the last person Cullen expected to see in Skyhold, but since she's here, they might as well get re-acquainted.

Anora isn't accustomed to misjudging people.

Fenris decides to write Varania a letter. It doesn't go well. At least, not at first. The reason for the T rating should be clear from the tags. There's no detailed discussion of any of it, and it's all in the past, but this just didn't feel like a G-rated story.

A Snow White AU that got more than a little bit out of hand.

Bull and Cullen return from vacation just in time to show their new neighbor the sights.

Cullen knows he wants something. He’s just not sure what that something is. Dorian and Bull help him out.

Sent to scout Ferelden for the Arishok, Saemus and Ashaad end up taking shelter with the Avvar. Then they sort of...forget to leave.

In a meeting room in Denerim's palace, two Wardens who used to be friends eat a meal together.

“Guess it is true what they say,” Boil mutters behind him. “The Grey Wardens really will take anyone.” Despite his red-rimmed eyes, Fives grins. “Looks like the set up to a punchline. If two mages and an elf walk into a tavern…” - When the battle of Ostagar goes sour, Cody grabs what brothers he can and escapes into the Wilds. Trouble of an unexpected sort is waiting for them there.

Morrigan isn't sure what to make of the newest companion.

packing up camp for the morning, or, how to bother alistair

Leandra dies outside of Lothering. Garrett Hawke leads his siblings and Aveline Vallen to Kirkwall, only to be turned back at the gates when their uncle refuses to help them enter the city. They return to Ferelden and land in Amaranthine. A year and change later, the Grey Wardens arrive at Vigil's Keep, intending to rebuild the arling and root out the last of the darkspawn plaguing the land. The new Warden-Commander conscripts Anders, an old friend from the Circle Tower, but as a mage and an elf, she needs some outside help in dealing with unhappy nobles. Lucky for her, Varel knows just the man to help...

A tightly-wound Anders decides to give a phone sex hotline a try. The voice on the other end gives him more than what he expected.

Dorian is used to being a pariah, knows all too well what it's like to be a man alone. Skyhold is no exception, and when the others go afield with the Inquisitor, the stones halls pick up an altogether different kind of chill. Also, he adopts some cats. At least they seem to like him. (Angstiest angst to ever angst)

The Iron Bull has been horny before, but never horny enough to summon anything. Until a beautiful man with horns and a pair of cloven hooves drops into his bedroom. Dorian asks for nothing more than sex... but soon they're spending more time together, and Bull begins to learn what it takes to warp a man into a demon. Then what it takes to get him back again.

Bull owns a bakery. Dorian owns an art gallery. 100% pure, tooth-rotting fluff.

Everyone has an hourglass that counts down to meeting their soulmate. Everyone except her. + He's been waiting his whole life for the person destined to love him. The “other side“ to Fateless

Garrett Hawke is a gamer who's involved in the MMO THEDAS. He's got a crush on his guild's healer and it seems the feeling might be mutual. Only one problem. As Garrett's been playing a female warrior from the start, everyone thinks he's a woman. Now he has to figure out if he should come clean before the upcoming THEDAS convention.

Hawke is so pretty that when Anders sees him near The Blooming Rose he mistakes him for a prostitute

Merrill has learned of an ancient elven ritual that gets rid of spirits/demons from the host. But there is a cost: their memories

Anders is afraid of almost!Templar!Alistair, Alistair reassures him