And then Hardison clicks to the next slide. "Of course, now the company had been bought by the Wayne Enterprises," he says slowly and pointedly, and all the others suddenly sit up, the focus of their attention shifting and narrowing. "No," Sophie says. Eliot nods once, sharply, and Parker does a rather good impression of one of those boggling-head-dolls, agreeing completely.

Every villain has a favorite. It's practically a rule.

Megan is given a great deal of advice on how to deal with Wally. All it does is remind her of the fact that nobody on Earth speaks like she does, and that her body is not her own.

There are reports of shadowy forces and a copycat Batman in Colorado. Batgirl is sent to investigate, and in the process discovers a new friend, a co-dependent study group, and a place that rivals Arkham Asylum for sheer lunacy.

"On the bright side," Dick says as he shimmies down the building, "You didn't raise a group of homicidal, raging, vengeful killers and sociopaths so much as you raised a group of emotionally-volatile, obsessive, spiteful vigilantes and paper pushers."

Batman is very happy with the way that Robin has picked up his training, his methods and his habits. Generally. But his protege showing up at the Batcave with two small children, Tim and Jason, clinging to him proves he's adopted one trait Batman would have rather he hadn't. It seems the batfamily has an incurable penchant for picking up strays, and Tim and Jason are only the beginning.

It's the hazards of having so many omegas in close proximity for so long. They tend to synch up.

Gotham can be finicky about some things.

Gotham doesn't know what to be more shocked by. The revelation that four masked vigilantes are in custody in Arkham, or their real names going into public record with the mugshots.

"Why does Ra's know how old my piercings are?" Tim asks, and does he know where they are.

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

Because Tim Drake would be a superhero fanboy in any universe.

"If once is an incident, twice is coincidence, and three times is a pattern, what's four?" Tim asked. "A mistake," Jason said between clenched teeth. "A big mistake."

Three times Bruce was a Batdad to his Batkids.

Tim Drake’s snapchat is 90% him making Bruce Wayne do normal middle-class American things and filming the results.

When Tim Drake was 2 years old, his parents moved to Metropolis.

Angry, traumatized girls. Let's give them more weapons.

It was Cass who found him.

Jason Todd isn't what Batman made him, he isn't what the Joker made him, he isn't what the League of Assassins made him, and he isn't what the Lazarus Pit made him. He's his own person and he's taking himself back, one home renovation at a time. Also he might just make friends with the people who are supposed to be his brothers while he's at it.

yeah, they're dysfunctional, traumatized, and occasionally murderous, but they're a family, and sometimes they even act like it. the term 'Bat-Family' does sound an awful lot like a mirror to 'Crime-Family'.

Bruce Wayne is either really bad at Twitter, or really, really good.

The Batfamily go to see Hamilton.

" 'Hey,' Jason calls, and Tim turns around with a start. Looks surprised he’s been addressed at all. And Jason says, 'You tell ‘im, Babybird. He feels guilty he doesn’t love you.' " Or, the kids compete to see who should give Bruce bad news. But Jason doesn't take Tim and Bruce's fractured relationship into account.

"You're fucking with me." Tim blinks up at his uncle – and he's never seen his uncle in full armor before, not in person. It's kind of daunting. "Please tell me you're fucking with me, spawn."

The Bats take on the Mythbusters. Why? Because somethings are just too cool not to try in your spare time and with your family.

Jason has small, meaningless interactions with his family. The media outlets of Gotham disagree.

"This is the fortieth time." Jason says, "Just to point that out. I'm not complaining, or anything."

It didn’t start with the intention to adopt Lisa. Jason just wanted the option to visit the little girl during the day while not wearing a mask. Sequels to Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw

"You know." Dick says, when he opens his eyes, "Santa normally eats the cookies."

“If I had known offering him a sandwich because it was four in the morning and he had blood loss would result into having a permanent installation in my house I’d have off’ed him myself.”

“Journalism Club? Oh my GOD Supey that is SO BORING,” Wally marvels.

"On the bright side," Dick says as he shimmies down the building, "You didn't raise a group of homicidal, raging, vengeful killers and sociopaths so much as you raised a group of emotionally-volatile, obsessive, spiteful vigilantes and paper pushers."

Jason, Cass and early Saturday morning grocery shopping.

(Prompt: I want to see Batman acting as a parental figure towards Robin. And to be awesome at it. You could maybe include hugs?) "Batman is looking at him with slightly narrowed eyes that anyone else would be likely to find intimidating, but which Robin knows well enough to interpret as Batman's 'what is the appropriate way to respond to people who are actually remotely normal' face."

Jason's doing it for the cash, or so he tells himself. [Written for the Fluff Week challenge on tumblr.]

"... Bat... man...?" he asked finally. His answer was silence. "Are you... here about the show...? You're here about the show. We're — this is all above-the-board, legally speaking."

"I'd be doing humanity a favor." Tim grinds out, "And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I've done worse."

Superman decided to try out a new costume. He did not consult the artist. In fairness, he was a little miffed that he'd been drawing weird porn of him, so. Fair's fair.

“There’s a Lantern out here?” Hal asks incredulously.

Hardison is 100% certain that there is no way Bruce Wayne could possibly be Batman. But maybe they should check it out, just in case.

CPS Agent, pointing at Tim Drake: We need to take him with us Red Hood: He's fine where he is CPS: He's a minor Hood: Timbo, you a minor? Tim: Can't prove it CPS: I mean, I can. There are records – Tim, who has just finishing hacking CPS to remove his own file: Oh really, tell me more about these records +++ A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood's lieutenant, and an intern who's promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It's a weird day for Theo.

A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood's lieutenant, and an intern who's promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It's a weird day for Theo.

A collection of side conversations & scenes in the Ain't No Compass universe that don't quite fit into the main storyline. Basically just an excuse for me to introduce Theo to all my favorite DC characters, let's be honest. +++ CPS: When I asked for backup, this is not what I had in mind Nightwing: He was available and he owes me a favor CPS: He's an assassin Nightwing: Yeah, okay, fair Deathstroke: I'm standing right here

Jason Todd yanks on his red helmet and switches over to the Bat comms. The comm line is a scramble of everyone talking around and over each other, hunting for Robin.

Tim flees to Titans Tower when his presentation heat hits. Jason doesn't know how this became his problem.

Jack Drake catches his son sneaking in through the window, and jumps to the wrong conclusion.

Eight (short) Hanukkah fics featuring the Bats

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”). - The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

"It's just basic coping skills," Jason scoffs. "Have none of you ever met someone with ADHD before?"

Dick pulled a face at the new paperwork. “Why do we gotta lie on this stuff, anyway? People aren’t gonna know what I can do exactly when I’m Robin...” “But they’ll suspect,” Bruce answered, typing something on his computer. “This way, if they think Richard Grayson isn’t all that impressive of a metahuman, it’s more cover for Robin flying through Gotham.” “Hmph.” --- In an AU where small, token superpowers are common enough to have their own optional line on forms alongside name and age, it's totally coincidence for Batman to have picked up a circus kid capable of flight. And a tire thief with super strength. And a- well, alright, the pint-sized photographer with not-actual-invisibility makes for a pattern, but even so. (He still tells the Justice League he doesn't allow metahumans in Gotham, though. Somehow with a straight face.) Series