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[https://archiveofourown.org/works/39989481] - - public:opalsong
creator:Trixree, extra:gettingtogether, extra:leftofcenter, extra:poly, extra:queer, extra:trans, extra:trauma, fandom:OnePiece, fanwork, Length:LongShot, pairing:Zoro/Sanji/Luffy, quality:sunfish, rating:nc-17, site:AO3, type:prose - 15 | id:1524671 -

Curly-Brow hisses, “What, exactly, am I supposed to have them do?” The guy looks at Zoro and adds, “Amputation via sword?” “Clerical, scribing, changing bedpans? The world’s your fuckin’ oyster and they,” Dr. Old Man thrusts a wrinkled thumb at them, “are your fuckin’ problem now.” Luffy takes this moment to wave and bound right up to the nurse with a chirp of, “Hi! I’m Monkey D. Luffy and I’m gonna’ be the Pirate King. Sorry about your roof.” The nurse stares at Luffy for a solid five seconds, unblinking. Nami whispers despairingly, “Oh my fucking gods.” The nurse turns back to Dr. Old Man and asks, “Am I allowed to submit this one for a psych eval?” -- In which Sanji is the crew's doctor and not their cook. This changes remarkably little.

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