"The Enterprise’s newest security officer reports aboard."

Three years after the events of The Fast and the Furious (but with spaceships!) Brian's happy with his new family and life. Until he bumps into the last people that he wants to see.

Your name is Dave Strider and your universe is DEAD. You have to find a safe place for your nubby-horned, alien companion in the DEPTHS OF SPACE. Under normal circumstances, you would be deader than your old universe, but you're no longer a MERE HUMAN, having ascended to god tier. The troll has not, but it helps that you hitch a ride on a FANCY SPACESHIP. All you need to do is find your MISSING FRIENDS and you are golden. >>AU after the scratch. USS Enterprise [UE] began texting turntechGodhead [TG] at ??? UE: Hello. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the starship USS Enterprise. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration. UE: My communications officer picked up an odd signal from this location. Can we offer any assistance? --Now with FANART--

Jim has a couple different lies he likes to tell about how he got his Jolteon, depending on his audience.

Spock was able, at any given moment, to understand at least 50% of whatever it was Montgomery Scott was doing at any given moment.