A love story told in seven much-beloved fanfic tropes.

Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

“I’m not his date,” John snaps, for what must be the fucking umpteenth time in the fucking week.

"The likelihood of finding a cab on Christmas Eve is fast approaching nil." "So was the likelihood of you kissing me in the middle of the pavement, and yet."

The spider's web: She finds an innocuous corner in which to spin her web. The longer the web takes, the more fabulous its construction. She has no need to chase. She sits quietly, her patience a consummate force; she waits for her prey to come to her on their own, and then she ensnares them, injects them with venom, rendering them unable to escape. --- Donna Hope

John and Sherlock have something in common of which they are both unaware. They've both been holding back from starting a relationship with the other because of the one aspect of their lives they are *sure* they cannot share. Serial Killer AU.