A conversation about their personal habits leads Souji to prove to the team that he's just as capable of being dirty as they are.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Peggy and Bucky get to grips with certain thoughts Bucky's been entertaining with regards to Steve and Tony. Part of Olympics 'Verse.

Your moirail is something of a shambling disaster -- his hair is a tangled, frizzy mess, his clothes are tattered at the hems and grimy, and he could stand a wash or five himself. But it isn't, you've realized, that Gamzee doesn't want to care for himself, it's more that he doesn't know how to take care of himself well. You're not sure why, since he had access to the same schoolfeeding as everyone else, but maybe it was because he was alone too much for so long. Maybe it's hard to care, or know to care, when there's no one to fuss over you.

“John, when you were eleven you didn’t even know what sex was. If you did, you would not have clicked on that link for two girls one cup. Twice.” This is the straightest most bro-est make out session that ever happened. Not even a little bit of it is gay. Nope.

Teasing can be frustrating, but it will all be worth it in the end - right?

John starts to love it when Dave talks with his hands.

Even the human fandom has recognized that it's a love story. Karkat's just disgusted that we've got them in the wrong quadrant. Rated Teen for Karkat's vocabulary.

Love advice with Canadians: the clueless leading the clueless who is in love with clueless.

There was no good way to say it: sorry about your surprise sex swap and your nonconsensual werewolf bite also rearranged your butt plumbing and congratulations, I've probably destroyed your sex life forever were not exactly Hallmark sentiments.

"Penis doodles are encouraged on all homework. Awful innuendos are allowed. Extra credit if you can get me to laugh at them. And don't hit on me unless you're legal, 'cause I got crazy shit for that last time." (or, what Patrick Kane would be like as a sex ed instructor)

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

Jonathan Toews is a certified, bonafide, pedigreed geek. Luckily he's their geek, so it works out okay.

So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

In which Newton is a girl and she really doesn't have the time for your shit.

She had been called by many names, from Amonute to Rebecca, and she had as many secret names by which no man had ever called her. It's best that we speak of her as Pocahontas, the playful one.

“Oh. Well, okay.” A voice rings out behind Erwin, and he freezes, despair coiling in his gut because this is the end, he’s been seen and he’ll be captured and experimented on and it’s five in the goddamn morning, who else is in the showers? He chose this time specifically because no one else is ever in the showers at five in the fucking morning. (Or: Erwin has wings and Hanji walks in on him naked.)

Sasuke discovers something about the Uchiha clan.

Jupiter doesn't feel ready for the bureaucratic nightmare of getting Titus to trial, or for the weirdness of being royalty in general. Fortunately, someone's written a guide exactly suited to her new needs.

Cole likes the tavern.

On deep winter nights, the Oina pass on a story of the three heroes' descent from the sacred shrine.

In which people with floofy pauldrons like Cullen should probably not stand so close to the woman waving around a lit candle on the end of a board.

A missing scene fic (spoilerific) between Captain Tsing & Jupiter Jones before she goes back to Earth, because I know I wasn't the only one who was sitting in the theater thinking "Stinger Apini, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LETTING YOUR DAUGHTER EXIT THE SCENE LIKE THAT?"

Harding isn't quite sure what to make of Dagna, but she's not one to back down from a mystery--or a challenge.

What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in? Petunia was jealous, selfish and vicious. We will not pretend she wasn’t. She looked at that boy on her doorstep and thought about her Dudders, barely a month older than this boy. She looked at his eyes and her stomach turned over and over. (Severus Snape saved Harry’s life for his eyes. Let’s have Petunia save it despite them). Let’s tell a story where Petunia Dursley found a baby boy on her doorstep and hated his eyes—she hated them. She took him in and fed him and changed him and got him his shots, and she hated his eyes up until the day she looked at the boy and saw her nephew, not her sister’s shadow. When Harry was two and Vernon Dursley bought Dudley a toy car and Harry a fast food meal with a toy with parts he could choke on Petunia packed her things and got a divorce.

Deadpool vs. Kylo Ren. The conclusion is foregone.

"Is this your first time?" Olivier has never slept with a virgin.

Post Drum Island-Arc. Chopper likes everyone in his new herd. Although he's not quite so sure about Zoro, who smells like metal and blood.

Sophie left SHIELD a long time ago, and now they want her back. (Eliot is livid.)

fic where there is a supernatural threat to New York City and the Avengers show up to handle it but when they get there the Ghostbusters are already dusting off their hands and hosing off the slime

For a prompt from the lovely Holly: The Free! anime featuring Tobirama as a swimmer, with a water addiction like Haruka - and the same penchant for undressing at the first sight of water. Cue Madara blushing and flailing, while Tobirama gives zero shits.

Fuck. Victor looked awful today after he got off the ice. He wasn’t even looking at the medal before they took it away to get his name engraved. He looked like he wasn’t even there. Yuri just wishes Victor would talk to someone (preferably not him) because fuck, he needs him. Victor’s actually a pretty good guy, once you get past the questionable taste in clothes (he forbids animal patterns. Like, really, dude? Such an old man) and, somehow, he’s always managed to inspire Yuri. He’s shown him moves, scolded him when he stayed too late the rink, and he’s always commented on all of his performances, just to show he was watching. And Victor likes watching movies with him, and volunteers to watch his siblings from time to time, when Yuri just needs to get away, for once. Victor buys him cat stickers for his birthday, even though he pretends it’s a kid’s gift and he doesn’t like it, and doesn’t say anything when he puts them on his notebooks. Victor’s kind of like an older brother, if Yuri wanted one. Which he doesn’t. He really doesn’t. // Yuri is done with Victor's shit. And he's done with Yuuri's too, fuck him. He's so done.

Zoro and Sanji's second time. The less said about the first...

"Zoro!" Luffy gave him a happy grin, looked out at sea...swung his head about to give his first mate a slightly longer look centered on the latter's new bust line, then back up at Zoro's face as he waved excitedly. "Hurry up! Nami says the log pose will set here if we wait too long, and then we won't be able to sail to Merman Island because we'll be set on another course. Hey, do you know your clothes are too big?"

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Team 7 gets a different sensei?

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Minato survives the sealing?

“Aw, come on,” says Anakin, glaring at the dice as if they’ve personally offended him. “You roll twenties for Ahsoka and not for me? I own you, you fuckers, the least you could do is do me a favor every once in a while.” or: Anakin Skywalker's terrible luck strikes again at the worst time.

Harmon knows how this goes. He's from Nevarra, and he's read books. Plural. If you want to fight a dragon you need to find a Kindly Mentor who can teach you all their Secret Strategies. So all he needs to do is find this old Tal-Vashoth dragonslayer his cousin keeps going on about, get him to teach Harmon about dragons, convince everyone else to go along with his dragon-hunting plans, fight a dragon, and win. Easy, right? Starring one cheerful qunari grandpa, one grumpy necromancer grandpa, and a bunch of Nevarran mercenaries who are about to have a very educational experience.

Andrew’s learned to like cake, he’s learned to like oysters, and he’s learned to like Steven.

Obito glances over Sakura, sprawled out on the couch painting her nails, and raises a brow. “I thought Kakashi told you to leave?” “Ha.” Sakura checks her nails, then starts applying another coat. “He has like three hundred sports channels. I'm not moving an inch.”

This might as well happen, right? Get possessed by an alien parasite, save the world, get fucked by an alien parasite… it’s all in the same vein. It’s not like this is any more fucked up than the rest of it.

“Wade and I have a tradition whenever one of us turns out not to be dead.” She smiles at Cable politely. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” “And by dinner, she means bare minimum twelve hours of the most animalistic ravaging of each others’ naughty bits that you can see outside Bangkok, big boy. Really putting the freak in fan-freaking-tastic multi-orgasmic cum-marathon.” “So what do you say?” Cable grinds his jaw for a second, but honestly, who would pass up these A-listers? “Why the hell not?”

Later, Dora would think back on it and realise that clinically speaking, she had died.

Prompto's mouth is dry. His brain's coming up with some pretty amazing mental pictures, just from those words alone. He squirms in his chair, and Gladio laughs. "Someone's interested." "So? I'm into it, what can I say." He shifts again. Even if he loses, there's no order he can think of that he won't love following – not from these guys. "Let's do it." "I'm in," says Noct, not a beat of hesitation. "And I," says Ignis. "So deal already," says Gladio – and Ignis does, long fingers steady and sure on the cards.

“Thank you all for coming,” Lan Xichen said, pouring tea for the other three people at the table. “I think you all know why I’ve asked you to gather here today.” “Sure,” Nie Mingjue said, accepting the cup. “Because our younger siblings have decided to join together to become a criminal gang.” “That seems like an unduly harsh way to put it,” Jiang Yanli murmured, inclining her head in thanks to Lan Xichen as she took her own. “After all, they’re helping people, aren’t they?” Wen Qing huffed. “Leverage,” she drawled. “If I ever find out who gave them that idea…!”

A very specific part of Jin Ling's Yunmeng Jiang heritage makes itself known when he comes of age. His friends help him out.

“You idiot,” Ye Baiyi chuckles at Long Xiao. “He was already panting for someone to have him like a bitch before you poisoned him. You’re doing us a favor by encouraging these two soup-for-brains to go off into the woods and fuck their feelings out.” Wen Kexing swears at Ye Baiyi, then threatens to pluck his eyebrows bald. Chengling blinks as he takes in the scene with round eyes. Long Xiao smiles, showing off his full set of adult teeth, eerily out of place in a child’s face. Zhou Zishu feels sick to his stomach; he wishes he could be drunk. Wen Kexing gets hit with fuck-or-die sex pollen on the way to Longyuan cabinet. Everything would be fine, except Zhou Zishu’s been keeping an unfortunate secret: the nails in his chest mean he can’t get hard anymore.

During his time rebuilding the Jiang sect and the Lotus Pier from the ground up, Jiang Cheng meets a lot of people. Some of them he keeps. (5+1 Jiang Cheng adopting stray cultivators after the Sunshot Campaign)

Edgar has wanted to be a member of the Choir since he first learned of its existence, and he finds himself inducted into its ranks in the most unusual of ceremonies.

“What kind of pleasure do you want to offer the Lover?” Sid asks. People usually want sex, of course, but not always – Sid’s had supplicants who just wanted to make out, or cuddle, or flirt… and one memorable supplicant who wanted to give him a massage, which was awesome. She confessed to Sid afterward that she’d gone in intending to have sex, but “when I saw those muscles, I was like, damn, I need to get my hands all over that!”