Where Steve and Darcy are platonic BFFs and Tony and Clint just aren't buying it. & Darcy Lewis has tased a literal God but that didn't help her last week. That's where the Avengers come in. Darcy has a lot to learn but she's got the best teachers. & Darcy's life is weird, but she kind of likes it.

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

From the Avengers Case Files of Phil Coulson: Grocery shopping is necessary, Tony's a little too proud of his tech, Captain America's lost on the streets of New York, and sometimes social injustice just happens. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he is not their PR Manager.

Tony Stark says very important things all the time but no one ever takes him seriously, not even when they really should. So when Tony says he's going to buy an island, sure, no one listens to him because apparently they think that kind of "hyperbole" doesn't need a response. The thing is though, Tony Stark actually can buy an island so he does and now the Avengers have an island that they can use as needed. Do they ever thank him for it? No. They don't even treat it as a learning experience for the next time he says something a little off beat but definitely right. So when Tony Stark says, "You know what Loki really needs is a Xanax," everyone except Steve ignores him. "Tony!" Steve says. If he had pearls, he'd be clutching them. "He is actually trying to destroy the world." "That's what I'm saying," Tony says as he loads a vial filled with green liquid into one of his wrist-guard missiles. "Does that sound like the action of a calm, rational, non-neurotic person to you?"

That's the twenty-first century love song, baby. Glitz and glamour and every one of us is a liar.

The one in which all the Avengers are women.

“Show me,” Steve says, pressing his hip against the cool metal. "Is it as fast as it looks?”

Choices: "Sylar's on a quest for powers, but Gerard just wants to help." You Know These Words (Like an Old Country Song): "Movieverse. The one where Clint Barton used to be a Hunter. A crossover of sorts with Supernatural." Spin and Rinse: "Set in the early van days, Brian forces the boys to stop at a laundromat."

Steve and Tony accidentally start a national do-gooders association and fall in love.

Snow is the beginner's substance of choice for all cave-ins and trapped-in-the-wilderness scenarios. Why couldn't it have been snow?

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

"When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right. That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways."