An AU where the first words your soulmate ever tells you are marked on your wrist. And Shane isn't disappointed, because he knows he'll know his soulmate right away, with how unique his words are. After all, not many people greet others by saying, "You're a fucking Sasquatch."

Some demons and otherworldly creatures love climbing up the power ladder. Shane is not one of these. He likes where he is (thank you very much) and has no interest in moving up. All he wants is to give his friend Ryan a nice birthday gift. So, naturally, everything goes to hell.