Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.