Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

Derek's expecting the new guy. He's expecting another mostly-useless college kid who doesn't know one end of a horse from the other, and Derek doesn't have the time to babysit. What he's not expecting is Stiles Stilinski, who carries on conversations with the livestock and gets maybe a little too chummy with Isaac and is really kind of stupidly perfect in every way. And it's just distracting, that's all.

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

Scott leaves for ten years and comes back.

For their tenth birthday, Stiles had gotten Allison a mug from a kiosk at the mall with AREN’T YOU GLAD WE EVOLVED OUT OF NEIGHBORING CELLS on one side and a picture from their school trip to the zoo, the one where Allison was hitting a goat trying to eat Stiles’ shirt, on the other. It’s such a metaphor for their entire existence that Allison puts it on the mantle of every subsequent house that they live in, next to their parents’ wedding portrait.

Normally, Laura is perfectly willing to delicately coach her baby brother through the endless labyrinth of his emotional manpain, but Laura’s dissertation is due in two days and she just flat out doesn’t have the time.

Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

So now I’m thinking about Derek owning a queer bookstore in Beacon Hills (because he wants to stay near his pack and the family home) after he gets his degree. And he’s not unhappy, exactly, he just spends a lot of his time by himself because his store is small and he can’t afford to pay more people to work there and still cover his costs, and if sometimes he gets lonely then that’s what his books are for and why he has a big sister who’ll prod and nudge him out of his shell and a little sister who’ll make him take her out for lunch

Derek can handle this. He can. “You can do this,” he says, to his pale and pinched-looking reflection, to the faint bags under his eyes and the tension creases at the corners of his mouth. If he says it enough times it’ll stick sooner or later.

It’s not even a big deal. Frankly, Derek doesn’t understand what Laura’s problems is when she’s the one who used to tease him so much about his compulsive gym rat routine.

Stiles didn't choose to give his life to the unicorns, not really; they were the ones who chose him. He didn't understand, then, what it was they were taking from him.

fuck okay so I'm not sure if you're taking prompts but have you seen that video of hoechlin twerking(?) and then doing A BACKFLIP. ?!!? hmm so in summary like cheerleader au where derek is on the fucking cheersquad and yes. butttts.

The whole thing starts with Stiles' naked body, which is, apparently, "perfect."

One of Stiles' goals for Thanksgiving weekend is to take advantage of the privacy away from his crowded dorm rooms to get to know his new vibrator. He gets, uh, stuck. Deputy Derek Hale assists.

The drug is called heatwave. It supposedly emulates werewolf heats on humans. And yes, Stiles is stupid enough to take it on a dare.