Zoro gets lost, Sanji gets captured by the marines, the Strawhats break into the ship's prison, and they all escape with a bang. Not exactly in that order, much to the confusion of Sanji's cellmates.

The sign, standing unassuming outside the Grand Line Coffee Shop in a handwriting Sanji recognizes as Usopp’s, says: TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS: 1. Hella fucking gay. 2. Desperately single. FOR YOUR DRINK TODAY I’D RECOMMEND: You give me your number. Or, the one coffee shop au where Usopp pulls a prank, Sanji is unexpectedly (read: completely unexpected to him and only him) popular among the male population of their campus, and Zoro just wants to grab a coffee.

Zoro and Sanji's second time. The less said about the first...

(563): Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards.

In an alternate universe, forces conspired to put Ace, Sabo, and Luffy in the care of the Red Hair pirates as children. The Grand Line would never know what hit it.

Everyone wants to marry Zoro. Hypothetically. Sanji can’t believe everyone would pick that useless patch of growing mold over him, and considers killing Zoro. Not hypothetically. He has a list on why Zoro would be the Worst Husband Ever, not that he spends a lot of time thinking of a (purely hypothetical!) situation where he is married to Zoro, fuck you very much. (a.k.a, the one where Usopp invented Fuck, Marry, Kill.)

Buggy stops at a bar in East Blue and there’s this angry looking kid asking about the Captain. Asking what would have happened if the Captain had a kid. And everyone starts laughing like the idea is ridiculous. Like Roger hadn’t taken in two street rats and given them a home.

Left with only three other crew mates, it’s a ready expectation that Sanji will start fawning all over Robin in his usual obnoxious way. However, that’s not what happens. Instead, looking wild around the eyes in a way only someone who knows him well would recognize, the cook doesn’t break stride until he’s firmly within Zoro’s orbit and can wrap both hands around his upper arm, clinging tight. “Hi, darling,” he chirps, his expression desperately conveying that Zoro needs to play along under pain of death. “Did you miss me?”