Batman is very happy with the way that Robin has picked up his training, his methods and his habits. Generally. But his protege showing up at the Batcave with two small children, Tim and Jason, clinging to him proves he's adopted one trait Batman would have rather he hadn't. It seems the batfamily has an incurable penchant for picking up strays, and Tim and Jason are only the beginning.

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

Playing designated driver is not Dorian's forte. Luckily, he's got some sober company in the form of the second most attractive friend in the group--after himself, of course. Dorian's not sure why Cullen comes to these parties. He doesn't drink, doesn't socialize, he even goes to work with most of these people! There has to be a reason though, right?

Dorian Pavus is a successful, single, and frankly frustrated author of Young Adult fiction. His work largely concerns the experiences of gay and queer teens, and he always, always gives them hopeful endings, despite his own life not delivering on that part. When he's invited to host a writer's workshop at a shelter for young people, he meets its caretaker, Iron Bull. Iron Bull admires his work, and then some. Dorian isn't quite sure how, but this becomes a Thing.

A podfic of "Dance With Me Tonight" by SecondStarOnTheLeft. "Arianne and Edmure’s wedding is the event of the decade, at least within their specific social circle, and everyone who is anyone is invited. Which means an absurd number of nephews, nieces, cousins, friends and assorted hangers-on, of course. (Otherwise known as "I can too write fluff")"

For a prompt on my Tumblr: omg Utakata and Haku making delicate icebubble art pieces in the winter and Zabuza scoffs at them but he still sits and watches them put the pieces together and even volunteers kubikiribocho sometimes because that hole at the end is a pretty good bubble ring.

What do you get for the girl who already has everything and really doesn't want to marry you? A kidnapping, apparently. No, that doesn't actually make any sense, but as The Iron Bull is about to find out, Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos don't appear to actually consider themselves bound by the rules of common sense. Isabela just can't believe someone's actually paying her for this. Lucky!

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. Between robot invasions, mad scientists, and civil disagreements, they have their work cut out for them. Many Princess Peach references are made.

“Do you…” the man trails off, frowning. “Do you dislike Prince Otabek?” he asks quietly. Yuri arches his eyebrows. “I’ve never met Prince Otabek,” he says truthfully. “But if he has to go to all this trouble to find someone to marry him, then logically, there must be something wrong with him.”

It’s not his proudest moment, but Sakumo takes one look at the newest occupant of the gym and walks into a wall.

Aka everyone is a superhero or a sidekick or a damsel in distress in true comic style. Includes terrible hero names, almost everyone wearing spandex (Sakumo why must you be sensible and break the mold you nerd), ridiculousness, secret identity fails, and all of my favorite crack pairings. I would be sorry, but that would require a sense of shame and I misplaced mine long ago.

Sakumo loses a bet and has to cover the fashion beat for a week. It's not nearly the trial he expected it to be.

Gajeel is not good with words - but he is good with flowers.

It should probably be more of a surprise than it is for Iruka to find his lover of fourteen months shivering on his doorstep, the blond little boy that Konoha has been searching so desperately for clutched in his arms.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

Ichigo's found his Sky. Things are just...a little turbulent while everyone adjusts.

Smothering his amusement, Tobirama leans up, a few inches further than the other teacher can manage, and plucks the wayward student down from the tree he’s attempting to climb. Settling back, he flips Naruto upside down, dangling him under one arm, and asks Iruka with a smirk, “I believe this is yours?”

Omegas are inviting. Warm. The heart of pack life. Tsuna never believed he'd be any of those things. (Omega Tsuna, warm and wonderful but entirely unaware of it, unwittingly draws others to him and inspires unwavering loyalty.) No Mafia. Tsuna's "Family" is just his patchwork pack of similarly damaged children. Lots of platonic pack feels and bonding. Endgame Tsuna/Hibari.

in which Jaime has A Very Sound Plan when it comes to his family's objections to his marriage with Brienne.

in which I repost fics of various length that I posted on tumblr based on a specific modern 'verse that was discussed with one or more anons on my tumblr a while ago. Premise: Jon is still R+L but went to live with the Starks around five-ish after both his parents pretty much realized they bit off more than they could chew. Features extra Jon Connington being the responsible adult, Robb being a gift, the Tullys being fairly great people and so on. Specific ficlets: 1) jon connington comes clean with rhaegar about his feelings in a way he hadn't predicted; 2) jon c. finds out that rhaegar named his kid after him; 3) robb is *extremely* invested in making sure jon's first birthday party turns out great (ned/cat, robb & jon); 4) robb takes his brotherly duties with jon very seriously, good for everyone involved; 5) jon's first christmas with the starks *and* tullys; 6) how jon c. and brynden tully get together in this 'verse and realize they're actually perfect for each other; 7) jon (snow) and ygritte have their first child... who looks like rhaegar, GENETICS!.

“You would think they’d make it harder to break into their castle,” Mei huffs, and heaves the body of a guard into one of the empty rooms to sprawl with the others.

Alistair would really like for everyone to stop acting like he and Zevran are dating. Where do people come up with this stuff??? For an anon on tumblr who wanted 1,000 words of Alistair and Zevran being That Couple. :)

Alistair calls, and Zevran answers. The problem is, it wasn't supposed to be Zevran on the other end of the phone.

Aspiring makeup artist Jeongguk sits in his boyfriend's lap and practices.

When Wangxian decide they can't even wait a day to get married Jiang Cheng is faced with attempting the impossible: planning a wedding in a matter of hours. - “Uh, um, hi, Jiang Cheng, we were just, um, we have to go, it’s really important—” And he actually tried to sneak past him, Lan Zhan’s wrist caught in his hand as he was willingly dragged along. “So you’re getting married, huh?” Jiang Cheng said, his voice poisonously sweet. Wei Ying flinched guiltily. “You’re on your way to the courthouse now? How nice. Hey, just quickly before you go Wei Ying, do you remember what I said I’d do to the next man to make a-jie cry?” “...you’d...you’d pull his—” “I’d pull his spine out through his dick, yes.”

Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue hire Meng Yao to have a baby for them. They want to take things slow, but Meng Yao has other ideas.

The single faceless, anonymous photograph on the profile that catches his eye is shot in elegant black-and-white, and there’s something about the crispness of the focus and the markedly off-center composition that says art, for once, rather than mugshot. The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.” (Or: Meng Yao gets wrecked by that Good Lan Dick. Lan Xichen gets wrecked by Meng Yao's Whole Deal.)

soft, domestic friends-to-lovers modern/celebrity au ft. musician jiang cheng & artist nie huaisang

Two gremlins, their husbands, and the horrible HOA board. As long as nobody gets arrested for arson or murder, we're gonna call it a win.

[“Okay, but listen,” Zuko says. “I’m listening.” “Did you forget about the capitalist scam happening tomorrow?” He asks. “You know, patron saint of shitty teddy bears and pretending that a few flowers makes up for being emotionally constipated the rest of the year?” Zuko shrugs. “Not like I lied.” “Sounds kind of like you lied.” “He said couple,” Zuko points out, “We are a couple. A couple of people who want a discount.”] Or, Zuko and Sokka work the system.

“Queen Miraj is going to betray you,” Feral says, and Cody practically jumps out of his own skin.

What did the nice, attractive man from the grocery store ever do to you, cat? Let Mingjue live, this date had been going so well.... -- Modern NieYao, cat!Baxia, and a bit of a rocky 4th date that has more blood in it than Mingjue anticipated

The entire building is decked out for Christmas. Sparkling lights, the rich, glowing reds and greens of masses and masses of poinsettia flowers. It’s not hard to realize what’s going on. It feels like every titled, unmarried man between the ages of 20 and 40 who likes other men is here. Unbelievable. They’re marrying the King off with a fucking Cinderella-style ball.

King Evgeni has a problem. A very, very big problem, because the new guardsman from the Outer Islands is driving him to absolute distraction.

Evgeni Malkin is a star forward and three-time Art Ross Trophy winner. Sidney Crosby is the head chef of Nouma, a Halifax restaurant that boasts two Michelin stars. They cross paths in Pittsburgh.

Nolan flips to his messages, but as expected, it’s mostly just unoriginal openers—who’s going to respond to sup, honestly—and unflattering dick pics. He rolls his eyes and goes back to the profiles. He comes across one guy, just a scant two miles away, who actually has his face in his profile picture, which is a refreshing change. He’s cute, longish dark hair with a sneaky smile, and his name is Travis. Nolan has never started a conversation with anyone before, but again: antsy and horny. He debates for an embarrassingly long time over what to say and finally settles on something simple. And dumb, probably, but the magic of anonymity is that he doesn’t really give a shit. And at least it’s miles better than a dick pic of a soft dick, which Nolan didn’t know was actually a thing until he got more than one. The bar is low, is what he’s saying here.

“I see hearts. I sing people their deepest desires. You, for example.” Gabriel rolls his head to the side, damp curls bouncing over his eyes as he looks up at Jack. “You’re an adventurer. You want a new challenge, a frontier to try yourself against.” He reaches up one dark-clawed hand to trace it down Jack’s face. He’s as mysterious and mesmerizing as any of his promises, and Jack doesn’t pull away.

“You know, just out of curiosity,” Red Robin begins, and Jason twists to face him, “are you from Gotham?” “What gave it away?” Jason drawls as fire sirens start up in the distance. “My anger issues, or my apathy in the face of the new supervillain flavor of the week?” (Or: That time Jason moves to New York and becomes a meme.)

Levi Ackerman has made a career out of anticipating the unexpected, but he's found himself in a position he never could have predicted: getting divorced. Single again for the first time in ten years, he’s listless and untethered during the initial separation. He's got a lot of issues to work through and–on a leap of faith–decides to seek the help of a very different kind of professional.

The first time Luffy walks into the Baratie with Usopp and Zoro during lunch rush, Sanji has to go stand in the walk-in freezer to scream into his hands. He wants to tell Zoro to get the fuck out. He cannot tell Zoro to get the fuck out, because that’s unreasonable and rude. Just because Zoro is—unfortunately—Sanji’s type in men doesn’t mean Sanji can act like a child around him. See, Sanji wasn't gay until he met Gin. Gin wasn't gay, either. What they did together was everything from "practice" to "just some fun" to "giving a friend a hand" (or mouth, or hole). But they certainly, absolutely were not boyfriends because Gin was straight and Sanji was straight. It was perfect, until Sanji had to go and ruin it by liking it too much. He flew too close to the gay-sun and his not-gay wings of wax melted, go fucking figure.

Sanji Black, Executive Chef and owner of Le Tout Bleu, successfully defends his restaurant and its customers from aggressive paparazzi one evening with style. A video of the fight goes viral, though, and one of the celebrities in the center of the whole mess develops quite the intense—and public—crush.

After years of fighting for his own independence, Jean can't stand to watch other people around him be steamrolled. It especially bothers him when it comes to Jeremy, his overly upbeat regular. Jeremy’s date doesn’t seem to notice the way Jeremy stills, and Jean can already see where this is going. Jeremy has been coming to the cafe ever since Jean started working there, and while at first he was just another customer, once this trend of copious (awful) dates became apparent... It was hard to ignore him.

"You paid for the deluxe package," Neil says as he scrolls through his payment history to find his client's invoice. His system is simple: Basic Package: Fuck you. A general statement of displeasure and a brief description of the wrongdoing. Intermediate Package: Fuck you, with passion. Everything in the basic package, but with additional insults. Customizable for an extra fee. Deluxe Package: Fuck you to hell. Everything from the first two packages, for an extended period of time, and with extra viciousness. And it looks like Andrew Minyard is the unlucky soul today.

Andrew and Neil switching phones by accident brings them closer together than either of them anticipated.

Neil tries to get away from a boring conversation and accidentally ends up asking the most popular guy in school to dance with him at the winter formal.

Despite his best efforts, Andrew finds himself a family.

„Darling?“ Andrew calls, still out of sight, and that gets Neil’s attention. Except for some very rare, very soft moments Andrew only uses pet names to be sarcastic. „Yes love?“ Neil retaliates in the same, slightly mocking tone. Andrew comes into sight, with an unusual mischievous glint in his eyes. „How much do you think you can horrify a whole bunch of conservative homophobes?“ or: What is a professional actor as a fiancé good for, if you can't terrorize your distant (and close) relatives with him?

Dabi narrows his eyes. "Alright. Let's say you don't die. You still have a limited amount of blood, and a lack of blood flow or oxygen to your brain could probably cause permanent damage that even your immortality can't repair." "I'll stop you before that happens," Hawks says, with way more confidence than he has any right to have. "You have zero self-preservation instincts," Dabi has to point out. Hawks grins at him, shooting him finger guns. "So we doing this, or what?" ~ Dabi is a vampire who's never had human blood straight from the tap before. Hawks is a dumbass college student cursed with immortality. What could go wrong?

in which Tommen discovers a new favorite band, Tyrion pays Jaime a favor, Jaime gets to reconnect with at least one of his children, Brienne is a responsible adult who might want to act up on a few fantasies, Loras and Renly are pro enablers and everyone is down with some healthy dismissal of gender roles.

“It’s a myth.” “It’s not.” “It absolutely is.” “It is not,” Jesper groans. “Well, I've never done it-“ “I’ve never been on time to anything ever, darling, but that doesn’t mean punctuality isn’t possible.”