A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.

Life may suck but at least Dave still owns a copy of Grease.

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. Between robot invasions, mad scientists, and civil disagreements, they have their work cut out for them. Many Princess Peach references are made.

Something strange happened to Wade. Well, something strange always happens to Wade. But this type of strange involves an alien ray, Wanda (aka Lady Deadpool), and some slight errors with his regeneration in another universe. Luckily, the Merc with the Mouth has an Ultimate Amazing boyfriend and a newly adopted sister/doppelganger to help him through. Or Deadpool is atomized, and comes back home with lady parts.

Five times that no one was thinking of Shiro as a dad.

tide. noun. the alternate rising and falling of the sea, usually twice in each lunar day at a particular place, due to the attraction of the moon and sun. [Post-Wano] Sanji would kiss him if that were not a terrible, terrible idea.

Kakashi lives in the darkness, which is more than he deserves, but for Naruto he'll step into the light.

It should probably be more of a surprise than it is for Iruka to find his lover of fourteen months shivering on his doorstep, the blond little boy that Konoha has been searching so desperately for clutched in his arms.

It's been judged safe to send the students of UA home to their families for the first three weeks of summer, much to the relief of everyone whose name isn't Todoroki Shouto. Luckily, Midoriya has a solution for him, and Midoriya Inko has a lot of love to give.

Alistair has spent his whole life hating himself for the things he wants. Zevran is just looking for a fun way to pass the time. What could possibly go wrong when someone who has no experience with sex gets into a D/s relationship with someone who has no experience with healthy relationships? Or: Alistair and Zevran serve as a case study on how to do (almost) everything wrong but still end up in the right place (eventually).

Written for the prompt: Zevran gets a bad tangle in his hair and Alistair helps him get it out.

His voice is soft, wistful for days gone by, and Jiang Cheng finds himself reaching out, his hand heavy on Nie Huaisang’s thin shoulder. Nie Huaisang looks at him, eyes wide in sincere surprise, which gives way to a smile so wide it crinkles the corners of his eyes, so real and beautiful. The way he had in Gusu, wet hair stuck to pale skin, eyes honey-gold under the summer sun; before his brother’s death, before Sect Leader Nie, when they were only Jiang-xiong and Huaisang-xiong, when it was all so simple – Jiang Cheng's requirements in a partner.

Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?) Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

Levi Ackerman has made a career out of anticipating the unexpected, but he's found himself in a position he never could have predicted: getting divorced. Single again for the first time in ten years, he’s listless and untethered during the initial separation. He's got a lot of issues to work through and–on a leap of faith–decides to seek the help of a very different kind of professional.

“What’s got you so jumpy, hero?” Dabi sneers, and Hawks answers him. “I got hit with a truth Quirk.” Hawks swiftly contemplates every decision that has gotten him to this moment, starting with his own birth, and regrets all of them. Dabi’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas Day and Hawks is the present he’s been waiting all year to unwrap. “Really?” He purrs, “Well, isn’t that incredible.” ~~~ Hawks gets hit with a truth quirk right before a meeting with Dabi. Dabi thinks it'll be fun. It isn't.

For most people, dying and waking up in your eight-year-old body is a second chance at life. For Dabi, it is a chance to make his shitty father’s life a living hell. Or: Dabi sucks at this whole time travelling thing. In his defence though, there’s really not much a kid can do in the grand scheme of things… or so he thought.

In which Aizawa brings an extra kid to mountain training camp, leaves his sleeping bag at school, and ends up sharing a futon with Yagi Toshinori for three agonizing nights before everything folds.

There are plenty of fabricated stories about Dirtyhands and the Wraith. Kaz and Inej don't mind making up a few more. Five times Kaz and Inej lie about how they met, and one time they don't.

“How’d you get stuck with babysitting duty anyway?” Boba asked one day during dinner. “Oh, I volunteered for this,” Fox told him. “Why the kark would you do that?” “Language,” Fox admonished. “Well, I was just living my normal boring life and I thought to myself, ‘I don’t get called an ugly piece of banthashit often enough.’ So I decided to adopt you.” Boba snorted. “You’re a psychopath,” he told Fox. “I’ve been called worse,” Fox replied breezily.

Years and years after Kaer Morhen, in the bed of a particularly skilled prostitute, Geralt learned that other things besides injury and stress could trigger his strange mutation. Warmth. Safety. A lovers’ touch. He’d also learned that no matter how good of an actress a lady of the night may be, there were limits to what a human would put up with for the sake of coin. When Jaskier comes along, the White Wolf already knows to hide his freakish nature as best as he’s able.

“Have you considered the possibility that Neil has chosen you, but believes you have not chosen him?” Renee says. "Have you ever explicitly told him what you want?” “Neil knows what I want,” Andrew snaps. This is not Andrew’s fault. “How do you know?” Because Neil always knows. He is as fluent in Andrew’s micro-expressions as he is in German and French. He knows which head tilts mean “go on” and which ones mean “shut up.” Without ever asking, he learned what it meant to see Andrew wearing double layers of long sleeves, or taking multiple showers in a day, and learned to hand Andrew the car keys. That has always been the most terrifying thing about Neil — his patience to wait, watch, listen, learn. The prospect that if Neil were given enough time, there would be no part of Andrew that was just Andrew’s anymore. “He has to know,” Andrew says. “Does he?” Renee says. “Have you ever known Neil to assume that he is wanted?” Five times Neil tells someone that he and Andrew aren’t dating, and one time Andrew uses his words to set the record straight.

Jeremy Knox and the soulmate. Guest starring: Exy, a transfer student, generalized anxiety, older sisters, drunk lesbians, bread, cake, a shed, the beach, the absence of Hennessy, Star Wars, Renee Walker, self-taught smooth talking, gratuitous French, No. 1 Trojans fan Kevin Day, relationship drama, general drama, the power of Friendship, questions, answers, team spirit!, and, of course, romance.

It's a generally accepted fact amongst the members of the bat family that Alfred's cookies are the absolute best and that the last cookie is the best of all. The last cookie is coveted and fought over. The last cookie is important. When the Justice League needs to summon the Ghost King and every offering has been rejected, what else is there to try?

"You're so fucking stubborn," Hood says. "It's infuriating." Red bristles, but fighting's like foreplay when he's got this much adrenaline. "Yeah?" He taunts. Can't help himself. Hood's grip around his wrist tightens, and it only serves to remind Red how fucking strong he is. Red's pulse somehow gets even faster, beating in his ears so loudly that he isn't sure how Hood doesn't hear it. "Yeah," Hood agrees. Tim's watching his mouth as it forms the words. "It drives me fuckin' crazy, babybird."

To be clear, Cassie is Wonder Girl. Very much so is she Wonder Girl. She likes being called that; she likes being called “she”. She likes being Amazon-adjacent enough to almost count as a sister to Themyscira. She doesn’t always like . . . other things associated with being Wonder Girl, though. Or even being a girl at all. Anyway, that’s why she just broke two pairs of scissors trying to get her stupid fucking hair to just fucking cut already in one of Titans Tower’s communal bathrooms. One of the girls’ communal bathrooms, which isn’t really helping how she feels right now.

Itachi and Madara massacre the clan, but they miss one member. Obito, loyal Konoha ANBU and disowned Uchiha, suddenly finds himself out of the organization that’s been his life for eight years and raising a traumatized, orphaned child. Kakashi helps. Or watches and plays the smartass, it’s a bit of a tossup.

For most people, dying and waking up in your eight-year-old body is a second chance at life. For Dabi, it is a chance to make his shitty father’s life a living hell. Or: Dabi sucks at this whole time travelling thing. In his defence though, there’s really not much a kid can do in the grand scheme of things… or so he thought.