Naruto’s friends are gone, his lover is dying, Konoha is destroyed, and Madara’s second return has pushed the entire world to the brink. Hunted and harried, Naruto is sent back in time to upend Madara’s plan before it even starts, and sets about changing everything. Butterfly effect nothing: the world is at stake, and Naruto is hardly about to let it fall to ruin once more. Not while he’s still breathing.

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

In a world where he didn’t die at the bridge, Obito is a loyal Konoha shinobi, even if his Konoha is practically gone. Rather than die at the hands of Orochimaru, Obito triggers an experimental time-space jutsu that sends him across dimensions, into a world where his counterpart went insane and Kakashi is mystifyingly different.

After the loss of his wife and his predecessor, Minato throws himself into his work, leaving his son almost entirely alone. Naruto grows up shunned but never outright reviled, aware of his burden and achingly lonely. But it’s not his way to give up, and someday, with the help of Kakashi, Obito, and a few faithful friends, he’s going to show his father just what kind of shinobi he can be.

“Oh my god, Obito, I don’t care that you keep turning our roommates into mindless zombies devoted to serving your will, but in the name of everything holy, at least stop putting them in thrall when you're singing Taylor Swift songs in the shower.”

In which Ichigo and Rukia are bros, and no one gets it.

At the last moment, Mito chooses to bind the Kyuubi to her rather than sealing it within herself. Decades later, Kushina takes up her burden, and finds that maybe it isn’t such a burden after all.

“No,” Tobirama says again, though he already has a sneaking, sinking suspicion that he’s going to lose this argument, as he does the vast majority of his arguments with Mito. Then, because sometimes the only way to undermine Mito's crazy is to match it, he adds, “If one of us is Batman, the other has to be Robin, and I look terrible in pixie boots.”

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, oh my. (Or, Tobirama has a date. He will probably live to regret it.) Prequel to It’s Witchcraft.

Crown Prince Obito elopes with the blacksmith’s son. Madara hardly expects his day to get worse from there, but he forgot to factor in his ridiculous brother, his nephew’s cunning, and the return of a distractingly attractive sea god he’d really rather remain in his past. There's only one direction for things to go from there, and it’s definitely not up.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: TOS!Sannin. Tsunade McCoy the grumpy, compassionate alcoholic with a heart of gold, Jiraiya Kirk the cocky and intelligent leader and womaniser, and finally, S'chan T'gai Orochimaru, the 'non-emotional' genius scientist with a not-so-hidden soft, gooey emotional centre.

Orochimaru and his sons crash-land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what’s coming.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

“No,” Obito says, flat and cold. It’s testament to how much she’s hardened over the last year that Hinata doesn’t even blink. She certainly doesn’t waver, feet planted firmly on the other side of the bed and eyes fixed on him. “Do you really think I would come to you if there was any other option?” she asks quietly.

“What do you mean, you’re related to the Nidaime?!” Izumo demands, hands flapping faintly like he can’t decide whether to strangle Kotetsu or flail.

“It was science,” Tobirama huffs, turning his glare on Madara. “You left your DNA all over me, Uchiha. I was hardly about to pass up the opportunity.” Obito debates clamping his hands over his ears and humming loudly. He did not need to know that in any shape or form, oh god.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Genma’s last memory of Uchiha Obito is from childhood so many years ago, a boy with a bright smile, always willing to help no matter the consequences, with an ego just a size too large and dreams he hadn’t yet grown into. It is, he thinks, a stark contrast to now.

Aka everyone is a superhero or a sidekick or a damsel in distress in true comic style. Includes terrible hero names, almost everyone wearing spandex (Sakumo why must you be sensible and break the mold you nerd), ridiculousness, secret identity fails, and all of my favorite crack pairings. I would be sorry, but that would require a sense of shame and I misplaced mine long ago.

If this airship lasts through one more round of Fire Country, it will be a miracle, Orochimaru thinks.

Kiba's probably the only emotionally well-adjusted member of the Konoha 12, and he's been aware of that for a while. He never thought that would qualify him for time travel, though.

Maes wakes up in the Elemental Countries after his death, and promptly gets into trouble. Genma gets him out of it.

Fate has always had a love-hate relationship with the members of Team 7, and Sai is just now realizing that's he's most definitely not exempt.

Maybe getting dragged all the way from Wave to Konoha won't turn out to be such torture after all.

The lights of Konoha are coming on in the dusk, like stars against the shadows, and Tobirama pauses, standing atop his brother’s carved stone face as he looks over the village. Change has touched every part of it, but at a single glance Tobirama can tell that the foundations are still there. The Will of Fire, loyalty, teamwork, sacrifice in the name of the future. Love is something large, with a thousand facets, and Tobirama only knows very few of them, but of all the world’s wonders Konoha is the easiest for him to love.

If she isn’t utterly mistaken, there's a flush rising in Orochimaru’s pale cheeks, one she only ever used to see when Jiraiya was being especially handsy during their genin days. It’s been a long time since Orochimaru got over that particular crush, and Tsunade stares at him now, at the averted eyes and rising color and aggrieved slant to his mouth, and feels glee bubbling up inside of her. “Really?” she says, delighted. “Who?”

Kiba's probably the only emotionally well-adjusted member of the Konoha 12, and he's been aware of that for a while. He never thought that would qualify him for time travel, though.

“Mom! Dad! Father! Someone’s at the door!” “Oh gods,” Sakura mutters, head halfway buried under the pillow. “How did she get your lungs, Naruto?” There's a sound of tired agreement from her left, though Sasuke doesn’t even attempt to pick his face up out of the mattress. “You're the medic-nin,” Naruto says, amused, and pushes up on one elbow to squint blearily at the bedroom door. “Want to draw straws?” “You're already up,” Sasuke probably says, though even Naruto's ears have a hard time catching it. “And before eight they're your kids.”

Neji is nineteen. He’s Hokage. The House system has officially been demolished, and the key to his seal, to every Caged Bird Seal, is sitting on the desk in front of him. It feels like freedom, and maybe a little like terror.

All of this, Kakashi would like it noted, is because he has terrible friends.

“He’s hot, isn't he?” Izuna asks, stealing one of Tobirama’s pens. Entirely distracted by his thoughts, Tobirama grunts in agreement, then realizes exactly what he was confirming and snaps his head up to glare at Izuna. Izuna just laughs in his face, and Tobirama groans and presses a hand over his eyes.

Ameyuri and Zabuza get locked in a closet. It's maybe not an entirely terrible thing.

“Hang on,” Obito whispers, pressing his hand against the back of Sakura's head so she won't have to watch the White Zetsu approach. “Close your eyes, Sakura, you’ll be fine.” Maybe he can bargain with them, or maybe he can stall them, useless as he is. Maybe there's a way she can survive this, even if Obito can't. And then there's a step, loud on the rocky bank. “I think,” a voice says, calm and perfectly even, “that you're trespassing on Senju lands.”

“Fuck, you too?” is the first thing Zabuza says to him after a solid five years apart.

C told Omoi to smile, but even thinking about that is exhausting.

“Oh, fuck,” Squalo says, thankfully at about a quarter of his normal volume, as he tumbles to lean against the wall beside Xanxus. “This is like with that shitty Bronco all fucking over again, don’t you fucking dare.”

“Somebody what?” Hidan demands. “Killed three of the elders and tried to kill the headman,” Fū reports cheerfully, and grabs his arm as he wheels around, flinging herself up onto his back. Hidan grunts, staggers, but keeps moving, and Fū locks her knees around his ribs with a laugh. “Fuck, someone else got to them first?” Hidan complains. “I had dibs!”

Edward, Tobirama, some accidental dimension travel, and questions of methodology. Plus snark.

Obito glances over Sakura, sprawled out on the couch painting her nails, and raises a brow. “I thought Kakashi told you to leave?” “Ha.” Sakura checks her nails, then starts applying another coat. “He has like three hundred sports channels. I'm not moving an inch.”

Nagato is in over his head, and getting deeper.

“It’s a ritual,” Tajima says, seated on the end of Butsuma's cot with one leg pulled up under him. “The fire will only kill you if you let it.”

Zabuza's got a thing for vicious, especially when it comes wrapped up in a cute package.

“What is that,” Obito says flatly. “It is a cactus,” Gaara says, like that’s the only question here. Deftly, with an air of ceremony, he sets the pot in Obito's hands, and then tells him, “It reminded me of you.”

Xanxus’s Sky-born intuition is a rough, ragged thing, more given to acute paranoia than any helpful impulses, but he has it. He’s always had it, even when he chooses to ignore it, but some moments it gets harder to push it down, shut it out, focus on logic and reason instead of that little voice screaming in the back of his thoughts. Not Vongola Hyper Intuition, but bad enough on a normal day. Worse, now. So much worse. His instincts are going fucking nuts, and Xanxus can't even begin to figure out why.

Ichigo's found his Sky. Things are just...a little turbulent while everyone adjusts.

“I just want to go home,” he tells Nagato, and hates that he sounds so very much like the crybaby child Kakashi always calls him. Nagato's expression twists, grief and sympathy all wrapped up and tangled together. He catches Obito's bandaged face in his hands, leans in to touch their foreheads together, and it’s closer to anyone than Obito has been in years. “I know,” Nagato says, hoarse. “I know, Obito. But we can save everyone we love, we can save the world. All it takes is our sacrifice. And someday, when we’ve put everything to rights, we can go back. We can live in a good world with everyone we care for, and know that we’ll never lose them to war. Isn't that worth it?”

That’s a nice face, Genma thinks. A hell of a nice face. And the biceps that are as big around as Genma's head are nothing to sneeze at, either. “Genma,” Aoba starts, a warning in his voice, but in the same moment the bigger Swordsman laughs again, leaning down, and instantly three of the genin swarm him. He boosts them up, then rises easily, like the weight of three genin is nothing at all, and Genma watches them laugh and cling to his shoulders, his arms, and licks his lips. “Genma,” Aoba says, and that’s his judgey and horrified tone.

“Are those even practical?” Iruka hisses, unable to tear his eyes away from his mission partner.

Obito gets one look at the firefighter taking off his coat and almost drops his end of the gurney on his foot.