"You are such a fucking brat,"

Puck sat on the edge of his bed, looking at the plastic packaging that encased the present the football team had gotten him for his birthday.

Cheerios are Puck's weakness.

The amazing Brittney is upset 'cause she can't get her new "boyfriend", Kurt, off, and this seriously goes against her perfect record. Her brain is actually stimulated by Kurt's questions on what it's like kissing boys, and she gets the idea to emulate a guy to get Kurt off. Of course, she chooses to act like Puck because, like, have you seen his guns? He's got skillz. In order to add realism, she gets one of Puck's sweaty gym shirts. Puck wants in and she tells him she'll record him a vid.

Puck’s still got a first time he can give Kurt. At least he can if a) Puck can get him to understand that, b) Puck doesn’t fuck up, and c) if the prissy little shit’ll stop treating Puck like a fucking girl and just take it.

Bored Finn will regret texting in class.