"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

Carts acts all shocked about Mike being willing to live with him, which, seriously. "Where did you pick up this idea that I'm a douchebag?" demands Mike. "If anything, you should be the one skeeved out about living with a dom." Carts snorts. "I've built up an immunity to your skeeviness." "Then we don't have a problem," says Mike. "Come on, Arnold's gonna flip his shit."

Kane blows past Toews' D and circles around, looking for an opening... and he finds one, taking a hard slapper, and Toews gets a piece of that.

Patrick is actually rooting against the Blackhawks the day he wins the contest, which makes it kind of embarrassing when the jumbotron shows him going nuts about it in his Sabres jersey. (AU in which Kaner is a Blackhawks fan who wins a contest to spend a week with the team.)