Chris Colfer currently has only 1 mission: sex. Okay, no, that sounds sort of creepy. And a little obsessive, although that’s actually becoming increasingly appropriate. Look, he just wants to have sex before he shrivels up and dies. Or turns 21, preferably. And he knows exactly who he wants to be ‘the one’. Now he just has to sell the idea to Adam Lambert and let the good times roll. Or something like that. He hasn't really thought that far ahead. (But that might be a lie.)

For this prompt on the kink meme: Chris was fine with Kurt getting his first kiss with a boy before he did, and he was fine with Kurt getting a boyfriend before he did. But when he reads the script for the senior prom episode (a.k.a. the one where Kurt and pretty much all of ND book hotel rooms and go all the way), he decides that he's had enough of being jealous that his on-screen alter ego is getting all the action. After a long and thorough process of deciding who the lucky recipient of his V-card is going to be (seriously, he made flowcharts), he decides on Darren, who -- after being reassured that Chris hasn't fallen madly in love with him, he just wants Darren to fuck him in the ass -- Darren happily obliges. Hot first-time sex ensues.

Geno is sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Sidney has a dresser drawer full of sex toys, but right now he's drawing a blank.

The last thing you want to do with the guy you've been hung up on for ages is teach him how to be decent at sex. So of course, that's exactly what Geno does. Featuring interfering Russians, thorough devirginization, and equal parts alcohol imbibing and hockey playing.

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!" "Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from. "Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Far and away, being an omega is the least interesting thing about Jared.