Lan Wangji is going to die. Lan Wangji is going to die, and it isn’t even a hyperbole; she is entirely ready to collapse in her seat like a marionette with its strings cut off. The vibrator inside her pulses, and Lan Wangji can barely stop herself from lurching forward and letting out a loud groan. She resists a glance at the row of seats behind her; she knows that Wei Ying is there, watching, and she isn’t entirely sure she isn’t going to come at the sight of Wei Ying’s lazy little smirk. Truly—the things Wei Ying has made her do—shameless. (or; Lan Wangji wears a vibrator to class at the behest of her fuckbuddy Wei Ying, and it ends up a lot hotter and more emotional for both of them.)

Shen Qingqiu has seen porn, okay? Back in the days when he was online for approximately 85% of his waking hours, there were popups all over the place. Sure, most of them were animated (poorly); most of them were gay male porn, for some reason (some reason); but there was some disconcerting real life stuff as well! He’s seen a vagina. At least a few times! He knows what they look like! Liu Qingge, on the other hand… Shen Qingqiu is 99% sure that this man hasn’t seen a vagina since the day he came out of one, if the way he’s staring down his pants in horror is any indication. ...Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu, and Liu Qingge are all infected by a terrible pollen that gives them a ~woman's body~ and can only be cured through orgasm. They, uh, work together, as um, a team, to- uh- to- orgasms are involved