In which Levi seems determined to spoil Eren rotten, whether he likes it or not. (For the record, Eren hadn't expected his confession to lead to this sort of thing at all).

Zoro gets lost, Sanji gets captured by the marines, the Strawhats break into the ship's prison, and they all escape with a bang. Not exactly in that order, much to the confusion of Sanji's cellmates.

or alternatively titled "The Space Power Rangers Try to Figure Out If Shiro Has a Natural Winged Eyeliner Look Going On Because He's Fly Like That or Not and End Up Failing"

"Yuuuuuri," Victor drawls, leaning his head on Yuuri's shoulder. "It's hot," he complains. He's already down to his t-shirt. Yuuri huffs a little, reluctantly amused. "Maybe you would feel cooler if you didn't drape yourself all over me."

Victor kissed Yuuri. You better believe all of these people have something to say about it. Or...Mari is exhausted, Minako is confused, Nishigori is supportive, Yakov is annoyed, Yuri is pissed, Phichit is the best friend anyone could ever have and Yuuri just wants to kiss Victor again.

Yuri has joined the conversation. v-nikiforov: d i b s

Tim has a thing for buying sex toys (in bulk, Jason suspects) and Jason is constantly putting his foot in his mouth about what things his lover likes.

Yamamoto attempts to make Gokudera's lunch. Gokudera is not entirely impressed.

It’s not his proudest moment, but Sakumo takes one look at the newest occupant of the gym and walks into a wall.

Riza takes such immense joy in ruining Roy's life that he can't even bring himself to begrudge her.

Sakumo loses a bet and has to cover the fashion beat for a week. It's not nearly the trial he expected it to be.

Shane has the worst timing.

Four people who knew Steven and Andrew were married, and everyone who didn't.

Keith tells the truth, makes a friend, and bleeds. Lotor falls hard. “Did you… Did you seduce the enemy?” Lance asks. “I didn’t know you had it in you.” Keith frowns. “I didn’t seduce him.” Silence descends and it’s one of those moments when he’s not in on the joke, because everyone is sharing looks. “I didn’t,” Keith repeats.

Twenty is probably too young to die, even for a shinobi, but if anyone can kill Sakura with sheer attractiveness, it's Kori.

Ichigo's found his Sky. Things are just...a little turbulent while everyone adjusts.

Smothering his amusement, Tobirama leans up, a few inches further than the other teacher can manage, and plucks the wayward student down from the tree he’s attempting to climb. Settling back, he flips Naruto upside down, dangling him under one arm, and asks Iruka with a smirk, “I believe this is yours?”

Whatever the hell Yuri had been expected when he finally got around to joining the pig and Victor in the hot springs, it sure as f*** hadn’t been the humongous red dragon tattooed on the pig’s back. (or: that one in Yuri goes on a journey to figure out why something about Yuuri, the Katsuki family and Hasetsu as a whole seems… Very… Strange. There’s no way in hell Katsudon’s in the yakuza. Right?)

nirejseki

Five people who (sort of) learn how Wei Ying became pregnant, and one person who doesn't. (Alternate title: How Lan Qiren lived on in ignorant bliss)

“Well,” Kit says lightly. “This does seem to be a predicament, doesn’t it?” Pressed right up against him, gauntlets digging bruises into his almost-bare hips, Dogma squeezes his eyes tightly shut. “I'm going to kill my whole squad,” he says, perfectly certain and resigned to it.

“Hey,” Lao Nie protested mildly. “Who’s the father here, me or you?” “If a-die wants a new wife, little uncle will find one that isn’t inclined to kill him.” That sounded like a recitation. “Then what’s even the point,” Lao Nie grumbled, and reached out to ruffle his son’s hair, enjoying how Nie Mingjue yelped when he did, glaring up at him with offended dignity.

In which Zuko’s advisors won’t stop harassing him about suitable candidates for Fire Lady, and Zuko’s friends hatch an ingenious plan: pretend courtships.

“Queen Miraj is going to betray you,” Feral says, and Cody practically jumps out of his own skin.

“You scored very highly—” “As fuckin’ usual.” “—but your interpersonal skills are still unbelievably low. If you are going to be a pro hero you need to be capable of working on a team—sometimes even one composed of people you don’t like.” Aizawa seemed to have roused himself from the edge of sleep long enough to impart this wisdom to Blasty. “Whatever. Just tell me what I’m doing.” Bakugou didn’t seem very moved. Mina thought one might need a backhoe to achieve such a thing. Aizawa zipped himself up in his sleeping bag. “Go around the classroom and give everyone an honest compliment.”

What did the nice, attractive man from the grocery store ever do to you, cat? Let Mingjue live, this date had been going so well.... -- Modern NieYao, cat!Baxia, and a bit of a rocky 4th date that has more blood in it than Mingjue anticipated

Hardison is 100% certain that there is no way Bruce Wayne could possibly be Batman. But maybe they should check it out, just in case.

Sid refuses to be jealous of something that's two and a half feet high and can't play hockey. OR: The Pittsburgh Zoo named some penguins after the Penguins, and no one will let Sid forget the one named after him has its shit together, because all his friends are assholes. Also there's pining.

“Oh my God, shut up Danny, you went to play for the Habs, you don’t know my pain.” Or, Claude Giroux gets traded to the Penguins.

Alex loves his kids, he really does, but he also might kill them. That is, if they don't put him in a goddamn early grave first. (Cop bribing, theft of public property, and how to photoshoot your dick properly in order to seduce a teammate: all part of a captain's responsibilities to his rookies.)

Bly's new wife is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and she's graceful and charming and funny and so far out of his league that he's about to die.

“You know, just out of curiosity,” Red Robin begins, and Jason twists to face him, “are you from Gotham?” “What gave it away?” Jason drawls as fire sirens start up in the distance. “My anger issues, or my apathy in the face of the new supervillain flavor of the week?” (Or: That time Jason moves to New York and becomes a meme.)

“Give me an update, Nedzu,” Aizawa spits into his phone as he yanks the car door open, “What do we know?” “At around four o’clock today, the pro hero Hawks was doing an impromptu signing for fans when a member of the hate-group known as the Creature Rejection Clan pulled out a gun and shot into the crowd. Like any hero, Hawks took the bullet himself, rather than risk civilian injury.” “And how exactly did that lead him to kidnapping Tokoyami?” Or Hawks gets hit with Trigger and it brings out his bird instincts. Tokoyami is there for all of it.

This is so not Hawks's day. Rumi is getting antsy with his stalling, frowning as the faint light that filters up to them puts a gleam in her eye. Hawks needs a plan fast, and one that will convince the League he's at least tried to play their side when they inevitably show up to see him and Rumi wrecking the absolute shit out of their pet monster. "Okay," Hawks says, "This is gonna sound real weird, but I need you to punch me in the face. It's for - " CRACK!

Everyone wants to marry Zoro. Hypothetically. Sanji can’t believe everyone would pick that useless patch of growing mold over him, and considers killing Zoro. Not hypothetically. He has a list on why Zoro would be the Worst Husband Ever, not that he spends a lot of time thinking of a (purely hypothetical!) situation where he is married to Zoro, fuck you very much. (a.k.a, the one where Usopp invented Fuck, Marry, Kill.)

Depa takes one step into the council chambers and stops dead, clapping a hand over her mouth.

The recorded number of times someone hit on Neil Josten and got nowhere, and the one time Andrew didn't even have to try.

"You paid for the deluxe package," Neil says as he scrolls through his payment history to find his client's invoice. His system is simple: Basic Package: Fuck you. A general statement of displeasure and a brief description of the wrongdoing. Intermediate Package: Fuck you, with passion. Everything in the basic package, but with additional insults. Customizable for an extra fee. Deluxe Package: Fuck you to hell. Everything from the first two packages, for an extended period of time, and with extra viciousness. And it looks like Andrew Minyard is the unlucky soul today.

“I bet the monster will come alone again this year,” he says, his voice scratchy like the sound of a blender in the early hours of the morning. Aaron stiffens beside his brother, shoulders creeping up to his ears before he opens his eyes. He turns to Seth with a sneer. In seconds, Aaron had gone from asleep to fully awake, an anger simmering under the surface of his skin, water boiling over. “I’ll take that bet,” Aaron says, face a blank slate, anger cooling behind his eyes. If this were still college, Aaron would’ve let anger take over, let fists fly. With age, Aaron had learned that there are crueler things than violence. “Five hundred bucks,” Seth replies, eyes sparkling in amusement. He’s got the face of someone who thinks they’ve won. “A thousand,” Aaron counters. Andrew’s eyebrow twitches up imperceptibly, a feeling like a laugh bubbling up his throat. __ In which Neil and Andrew are secretly married.

Maybe it was because he didn’t have time to read the gossip columns; maybe it was because he seriously underestimated the audience’s power to “Ship It”, but Bruce didn’t *immediately* cotton onto the fact that his scheme made half the country think that his son was in love with, well, his *other* son.

"Timmers sucked me pregnant," Jason blurts, and Tim watches in morbid fascination as Bruce goes through the five stages of grief in a millisecond. "I thought you said you weren't… sleeping together," Bruce says reproachfully. "He means that I, uh, impregnated him with my teeth. When I drank his blood. No sex involved," Tim explains. "It was an accident. I didn't even know I could do that."

“Repeat that,” Tim says slowly. Kon gives him a defensive look. “I panicked, okay?” he repeats. “And ‘panicking’ meant you decided to kidnap . . . how many kids, exactly?”

“I need you,” Tucker blurts immediately as he bursts into the living room where he left Kon half an hour ago. Or maybe two hours ago. Hopefully not more than three . . . ? “Like in a sexy way?” Kon asks, sounding halfheartedly hopeful as he looks up from his position draped across the couch with one of Tucker’s mom’s blander gossip magazines, where he’s clearly been bored out of his mind. Tucker will make that up to him later, definitely, but right now– “Like in a rogue attack way,” he says, and Kon makes a face.

"Crap!" the food truck worker shrieks in alarm. "Don't hurt him, Superman, he's just a kid!" Clark . . . pauses, then looks up from the kid that he is currently pinning into the street as said kid struggles underneath him. "'Hurt him'?" he asks in reflexive confusion, and then realizes how batting a teenager around like a person-shaped cat toy and pinning him to the street hard enough to crack it probably actually looks to an outside observer. . . . um. Whoops. "Um," he starts awkwardly, and then the kid slips his pin while he's distracted and throws his arms around his neck with a gleeful laugh and a bright grin. "Dad!" he crows triumphantly, and hugs Clark harder than literally anyone has ever hugged him before.