In which Sidney Crosby discovers twerking and decides it'd be a good idea to add it to the Penguins' workout routine, and Paulie knows exactly who to blame.

Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but… “And the bra?” Peter croaks.

Fuck. Victor looked awful today after he got off the ice. He wasn’t even looking at the medal before they took it away to get his name engraved. He looked like he wasn’t even there. Yuri just wishes Victor would talk to someone (preferably not him) because fuck, he needs him. Victor’s actually a pretty good guy, once you get past the questionable taste in clothes (he forbids animal patterns. Like, really, dude? Such an old man) and, somehow, he’s always managed to inspire Yuri. He’s shown him moves, scolded him when he stayed too late the rink, and he’s always commented on all of his performances, just to show he was watching. And Victor likes watching movies with him, and volunteers to watch his siblings from time to time, when Yuri just needs to get away, for once. Victor buys him cat stickers for his birthday, even though he pretends it’s a kid’s gift and he doesn’t like it, and doesn’t say anything when he puts them on his notebooks. Victor’s kind of like an older brother, if Yuri wanted one. Which he doesn’t. He really doesn’t. // Yuri is done with Victor's shit. And he's done with Yuuri's too, fuck him. He's so done.

Zoro and Sanji's second time. The less said about the first...

The Asgardians' ship stops for supplies. The price is not what Thor and Loki had expected; the aliens demand nothing less than a public royal fucking. Ok, it's not like it's the weirdest thing they've ever done.

Once the scent came to his nose, Oberyn had to pursue it. He had to find the source.

Sui Zhou picks up the book, balancing it atop one thigh as he pages through. "The author has included many falsehoods. The love scenes are completely unrealistic." He looks up, holding Tang Fan's wide, surprised gaze with his own steady one. "Actually, I would bet two hundred taels that whoever wrote this is a virgin." Tang Fan chokes on nothing, finally managing to squawk, "What!" ----- Sometimes the only way to improve one's erotic novels is to receive a proper demonstration of good technique.

"Really, Xie Lian, you don't even jerk it??" Shi Qingxuan insists. "I mean it's none of my business and you can tell me to fuck off, but holy shit, lady." Xie Lian laughs, feeling her cheeks color, and shrugs again. "I don't know, something about the mechanics of it just never made sense to me," she admits. "And anyway that's time I should be spending studying." -- It comes out that Xie Lian's never had an orgasm. She goes to Hua Cheng for help. • theyre lesbians

Sid’s been dropping subtle clues for years, it feels like, but Geno’s never picked up what he’s thrown down. So when the perfect opportunity presents itself—well, he’d have to be an idiot not to take advantage. The conversational topic is Things That Have Disappointed You in the Bedroom. Sid has this all wrapped up, to be honest. “Guys with big dicks,” he says flatly, and Tanger spits his beer all over the table. (OR: The Bedroom Adventures of Sidney Crosby, Troll)

The girl on Tinder is typing again. why don’t you show me how good you are with a cock Tyler coughs and drops his phone. That’s—wow. He did not expect her to go there.

“Wait, so you’ve all tried it?” Jonny asks.

They get to the tables with the guys, who’re watching with varying levels of amusement, and finally Ritter drops him on the padded bench. Matt bounces and nearly slides right off. Ritter manages to catch him, one firm hand planted on his chest, pressing him down. “Stay,” he orders and Matt sucks in a sharp breath as something in him goes molten hot. OR Matt's got a bit of a Ritter sized problem.