Gaila rescues her captain from slavers, but they want a show first. They get more than they bargained for. For Pornbattle IX.

"My name is Karkat Vantas," you say when the recording starts. "Imperial ID number 4136-1211-15201. I'm applying for status as a pail slave. I'm," you swallow hard to try to clear the lump from your throat, "I'm unfit for standard contribution due to abnormal hemotype, but I want to serve my Empire to the best of my ability. I understand the physical demands of the position and," your voice cracks, "I'm training to be better prepared for them. I swear to cooperate readily and faithfully with my assigned user. I surrender my body to Imperial custody. All hail Her Imperious Condescension, and all hail her glorious Empire."

Derek as Khal Drogo (but set in snow beyond the wall) and Stiles as Daenerys Stormborn (although he's a greenseer of the Children rather than a dragon)

Karkat comes to the Derse Dreamers as a gift. Not under the best of circumstances, but they make the best of it.

The South is a wilderness of warring barbarian 'kings', raiding bands, bandits and other such creatures. Like every good citizen of the Imperium, Dorian Pavus despises the very thought of the place and all those savages who inhabit it, probably all sweaty and half-naked and... sorry, lost his train of thought for a moment there. Of course, most good citizens of the Imperium haven't just been captured by a group of said southern barbarians. (AU in which Hawke leads a raiding band, Dorian is the prize all his men are fighting over, Varric stands to make a lot of money off the betting pool, and Trevelyan is not the Inquisitor, he's a very naughty boy)

You'd thought your master's hive was grand, but it's nothing compared to the Imperial Palace. The building rears up before you, sweeping arches and high towers, black stone ornamented with garnet-colored tile. The banners snapping in the wind are brighter, though, a red so bright it looks unnatural: the banners of the Scarlet Emperor, newly risen, the first of his blood since the Signless Sunderer tore down the old empire and built the new one a thousand sweeps ago. Every noble in the Empire is coming to the Capital tonight, bringing gifts to demonstrate their allegiance and beg the new Emperor's favor. Your master is bringing you.

“Now about that gift I got you, remember how you’ve been all wistful about your concupiscent quadrants? Well I got you something to fix that.” “What,” Karkat said blankly. “Gamzee no, tell me you didn’t get me sex toys.” The good news is that it's not sextoys The bad news is that it's a person.