“Sometimes when Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu make love-” Shang Qinghua thinks of the right way to phrase it, drawing on his extensive experience- “Shen Qingqiu’s heavenly pillar descends to Luo Binghe’s ravine, if you understand me,” he says, moving his eyebrows in a way that is meant to convey deep meaning. Mobei-Jun does not make an expression of understanding, but he’s watching Shang Qinghua very, very closely. “Shang Qinghua,” he says. “You want to be inside me?”

Shang Qinghua had never had a good idea - not a single good idea, not ever. In fact, this was possibly his worst idea ever. In fact, he was pretty sure he was going to die. In fact, he was - ... wait, why wasn't Binghe upset? Why was Binghe willing to do this? What sort of novel had this become!? Why was the only dying he was doing now while Mobei-jun and Luo Binghe were clearly having a good time without him?!

Liu Qingge would stand before him, shield and sword, and offer his all. So, when the man who held his heart and sword called for him, he came on the fastest blade in the human world. And when that man looked at him, a demonic arm curled around his waist and Luo Binghe plastered to his back, Liu Qingge stood at the ready. And when that man asked him to come into their bed, Liu Qingge pulled off his outer robe with steady hands.

Shen Qingqiu has seen porn, okay? Back in the days when he was online for approximately 85% of his waking hours, there were popups all over the place. Sure, most of them were animated (poorly); most of them were gay male porn, for some reason (some reason); but there was some disconcerting real life stuff as well! He’s seen a vagina. At least a few times! He knows what they look like! Liu Qingge, on the other hand… Shen Qingqiu is 99% sure that this man hasn’t seen a vagina since the day he came out of one, if the way he’s staring down his pants in horror is any indication. ...Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu, and Liu Qingge are all infected by a terrible pollen that gives them a ~woman's body~ and can only be cured through orgasm. They, uh, work together, as um, a team, to- uh- to- orgasms are involved