"Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together." "This isn't a romcom, Holtzy, " Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind." "Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

Some things in life are certain. Roses are red, violets are blue, Connor McDavid excels at hockey and he really—really—doesn't like sex.