In which Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, and John Egbert decide to rent a house near campus pre-furnished to save themselves the unutterable joy of Ikea allen-wrenches, Dave discovers why you should never attempt to move a universe without assistance, and Karkat is the best housemate: it is hands-down no-questions-asked him.

“Now about that gift I got you, remember how you’ve been all wistful about your concupiscent quadrants? Well I got you something to fix that.” “What,” Karkat said blankly. “Gamzee no, tell me you didn’t get me sex toys.” The good news is that it's not sextoys The bad news is that it's a person.