In a timeline where the Vulcans never allowed Earth freedom from their oversight, Jim Kirk doesn't fit in. All he needs to get away is a fast ship and a crew as crazy as he is; luckily, some things are universal constants. Notes: An AU expanded and continued from a shorter fic, which has now become the prologue. Fic and part titles variously come from songs by the Tragically Hip, Iggy Pop and Bob Dylan and a quote you may recognize from TOS.

AU: Spock was raised on Earth with no Vulcan influence in his life.

Spock met Jim when he was 7 and Jim was 6. It has since been generally agreed that this was a mistake (or: the one where they grow up together and things are simultaneously better and worse for it).

Sometimes the other Vulcans wonder how Spock managed to obtain such an exotic bondmate, and sometimes Spock wonders himself.