"Of course, when they get to Glee, Mr. Schue is talking crazy talk about something and the girls and guys are split up again. Liesl thinks half the reason they're always scrambling for a set list is because Mr. Schue is incapable of making good decisions, as evidenced by his marriage. Rachel is blathering something about their Sectionals competition and Liesl isn't paying any attention until she hears the words "spies" and oh my god, they'll be laughed out of the state if they let Rachel get within 10 miles of Dalton Academy for Girls."

In breaking news, surprising no one, Sharpy is a dick.

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

"He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."