The problem with teaching someone with a deeply vindictive personality Occlumency was the inevitable problem of his using it to evil ends. Or, Remus Lupin, Sultan's Pleasure Slave.

Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse.

It starts with Steve, waking up in a room that looks familiar except for all the ways it's wrong.

"She thinks she's seen everything, done everything, with Dean."

"The five times Spock wasn't in love, and the one time he couldn't deny it anymore."

"In which the Wraith struggle with their diet, Sheppard and McKay struggle to play teacher, and everyone struggles with chocolate cake and other related evils."

For the prompt 'AU: aliens'. Major Teyla Emmagen leaves for the Pegasus galaxy.

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"