Years after going over to Orochimaru, and years after that fatal mission where he first became ‘Saki’, Sasuke has returned to Konoha and finds himself confronting Naruto – and his past- once more. Two men try to come to terms with what they chose and what they really wanted.

"I'm sure you're not going to care, it's very weak of me," Haru tells Sasuke, almost casual. "I'm in love with you. It's not hero-worship. It's not a phase. I am not confused." Silence. Sasuke's expression doesn't change at all. Haru knows better than to think he didn't hear, or misunderstood. He probably suspected it a while ago. But it's alright (it's not, it hurts.) This isn't the reason Haru brought them both here.

The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels... But turns out he's also a great fuck.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 -- GG: hey john, i thought you were going to bed early! EB: nd she kissed him full on the mouth with lots of to EB: GAH GG: :O ??? EB: damn it jade, you and your ninja windows! pretend you didn't see anything okay.

Bro makes a show of snorting, of relaxing his stance. His heart is still in his throat. His kids, his kids, someone almost took his kids. Someone did, and the only reason they didn't get away with it has nothing to do with him, nothing, and everything with that rabid weasel who won't. Step. Off. His balls. -- Pretty much as the title says.

CG: I'VE SPENT ALL AFTERMIDNIGHT PACING UP AND DOWN MY NEW BLOCK IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR. THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T YET PACED MY WAY TROUGH THE WHOLE SHIP IS THAT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE FUCKING ERIDAN. CG: WHADDYA THINK OF A CAPE? DOUCHEY, RIGHT? CT: D--> I would most strenuously advise against it. It would only obstruct the sharp lines guiding the eye to the waist of your exquisitely tailored jacket. CG: YEAH, I LIKE HOW THE JACKET CUTS SHORT RIGHT OVER THE TIGHTEST WHITE PANTS KNOWN TO TROLLKIND TOO. BE A SHAME TO HIDE THAT. CT: D--> That wasn't CT: D--> I mean CT: D--> I was merely admiring the craftsmanship. CG: YEAH, THAT KIND OF SKILL IS WORTH BEING ADMIRED. I SWEAR TO FUCK THERE'S AN ASS-LIFTING TRICK SEWN RIGHT IN. BUTT-WONDERBRA. MY TUSH IS ALREADY PRETTY GOOD USUALLY BUT DEAR LORD, *I'D* DO ME.

Someone demanded human/troll kismeses having anal sex, with those headcanons: #1 Since trolls have nooks, anal sex is regarded as strictly taboo. Or not even taboo, perhaps just really odd and kinky, like, why would you put that there??? #2 Anal sex is strictly reserved for the caliginous quadrant, as a means of showing dominance over your partner. I don’t mean non-con or even dub-con; after a bout of fighting or arguing or whatever, the winner can choose to propose it and the loser can choose to accept it as an expression of rightfully-earned submission.

He just knows that Nepeta has been growing like a midblood, fast and hard, and either he's growing slow like a highblood (hah) or he's done already. And this should piss him off, and it vaguely does, even now, but they were having such a nice time reminiscing and then he tripped in the dark and she caught him, sure and effortless, and it was like every romcom ever only he was the heroine. The ensuing makeouts he blames on the alcohol. Not to say that when she lifted him off the ground by the waist to pin him to a tree and bring to more comfortable kissing height, his nook didn't flood like someone had dynamited a giant fucking dam.

Karkat takes his time; this trick he has learned from several drill sergeants and then from being a drill sergeant, and learned well. When you're not sure what the fuck to do with a subordinate, take your time thinking it out. There is almost no way they will notice you're completely lost at sea: they'll be too busy freaking out. It's a technique he could have used more of when he was a kid. He really has no idea what to do with the guy. -- Sequel to Uniform Kink, a pesterlog/cybersex fic in which Karkat accidentally gets Equius hot under the collar with mentions of the uniform that comes with his promotion, and then decides to run with it. -- Now with Equius POV epilogue! 2000% more fluff.

Show of hands, who didn’t read it as a porn prompt? anyone? anyone? bueller? Contains sort-of-public sex, oral and penetrative sex, some slurry retention.

*Could we have more of the arranged marriage ficlet? Pretty please? *Oh goodness is it too late to ask for a wedding night continuation? Are these prompts still a thing?? *DaveKat: First time ( could be continuation of other prompt or not) Karkat has mad bedroom skills and Dave tries to keep his cool. * Arranged Marriage Ficlet! Tomorrow! Deverginizing Dave

noviblue asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair

"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.

Naruto gets his hands on the key to his seal too early, and the yang and yin chakra of Kyuubi are freed. As in, now there are three Narutos.

So, um. Terezi is kissing her. By the way. "Wowza. Lesbos R Us, at long last. I knew that day would come. Anyone got a camera." Terezi has a lot more teeth to get nibbly with than Karkat and her tongue is way longer and oh lord does she know how to use it. Jade wonders to herself, vaguely, why she never kissed her boyfriends' girlfriend before. That was a really silly oversight. Mmm. "Haha, shut up, Dave, you've been modeling for the Gay Dudes R You catalogue for like three years now." "Like you can talk, Mister It's Not Gay If He Doesn't Have Balls To Touch." -- oneshot, plus a couple of ficlet sequels.

Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

For my Daemon AU meme; scenes and snippets from Midnight on the Demon Patrol 'verse with added daemons. -Karkat, Dave, and Dave's daemon, feeding Karkat (NSFW) -Rose and Kankri, on daemon meanings and siblinghood. -How was Bowie affected when Latula. blocked Dave's mind in the coffee shop? -Rose, Dave, Karkat, Kankri post chapter 27. -Rose, Terezi and Vriska.

Anonymous asked: BT guys shower gangbang fantasy/embarassing wet dream? (yay for fishing old prompts out of the abyss! weirdass floaty dream ahoy. contain vague dream porn, stealth angst and dreamy creepiness. also probably happens either during the first half of chapter 7 or before chpt7 entirely.)

Wherein Sevan, engineering student with no interest in mastering his ability for magic (that silliness won't get him any closer to his doctorate!) meets in a bar Mikhail, four hundred years old golem, and they proceed to frick -- and THEN they figure out Mikhail is liege-sworn to Sevan's ancestor and things get a bit awkward. Does contain: low-key urban fantasy, loyalty kink, PTSD and caretaker fatigue, SOME porn, a LOT of fluff and fix-it, a pet griffin, navigation of conflicting power dynamics, and people being disgustingly reasonable and undramatic. Most of the time. At least half of the time. Does not contain: murder mysteries, love triangles between human, werewolf and vampire, high-stakes, bloody battles, huge magical explosions, dramatic car chases, and I may have lied about one of those. (not the love triangle, i hate those.)

The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels... But turns out he's also a great fuck.

"We did go looking for omegas," Izuna pointed out under his breath, staring down at his personal enemy. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you want Senju Tobirama for a wife," Madara replied just as quietly, a brief spark of amusement blooming at the shocked horror on his baby brother's face. -- Before he was forced to accompany a pack of rut-muddled idiots on a half-baked plan to kidnap omega brides for the good of the Uchiha clan, Madara hadn't given Hashirama's younger brother much thought. Tobirama was a Senju, and therefore the enemy; he, like Madara and Izuna, was sole survivor of his litter, and so to avoid being alone and therefore unmarriageable had ended up paired up with his older omega brother by default; he was a vicious opponent; he was a beta. He had to be a beta. Hashirama wasn't, and nobody would be brazen or stupid enough to bundle up two reproductive siblings in the same litter, right? ... Right?