"Dude, fucking Spock just sent us drinks."

"Adam can never write a song about this."

In which Adam is a struggling singer and Misha is an eccentric artist, and somehow it all just works.

And then they make out.

Jensen hides his secret life in faux fur pillows, Jared decides to give him a surprise he'll never forget.

She’s in London when her friends decided to be idiots. Specifically she’s in London, in this bar she doesn’t really want to be in, sitting with a group of people she doesn’t really know, listening to this brunette – Lily, Spencer vaguely remembers her introducing herself as – drunkenly explaining her theory of whatever between tongue-raping the guy her friend came with, when instead of calling Brent, her best friends contact her. Or the Model!fic where Spencer gets kicked out of Panic! and instead of going home to lick her wounds, she stays in London, grows a foot or two and becomes an haute couture model. Includes Valentino and Giancarlo Giammetti, Karl Lagerfeld, various models, fashion people, Bob being awesome, and Spencer and Ryan redefining how to be SpencerandRyan.

Darren's still not used to this whole "internet celebrity" thing. Especially when actual celebrities are also your fans.

Bradley was reasonably certain that Colin didn’t know about any of these things Bradley thought about sometimes (or all the time). His secrets were safe. Yet, in that case, why in the world had he shared his cake with Bradley? Bradley really needed to find a way to get his revenge on Katie for giving Bradley more opportunities to question his relationship with Colin and a harder time to get through his days without constantly seeking Colin’s brilliance.

In a universe where American Idol never happened, Adam Lambert finds himself working as a consultant for Daniel Radcliffe's latest film, teaching the young actor all he knows about becoming a drag queen. But as they work together, they begin to fall in love. But will Dan be able to open himself up and tell the world that he's in love with a man?

Chris Colfer currently has only 1 mission: sex. Okay, no, that sounds sort of creepy. And a little obsessive, although that’s actually becoming increasingly appropriate. Look, he just wants to have sex before he shrivels up and dies. Or turns 21, preferably. And he knows exactly who he wants to be ‘the one’. Now he just has to sell the idea to Adam Lambert and let the good times roll. Or something like that. He hasn't really thought that far ahead. (But that might be a lie.)

I wasn’t going to post this because it’s INSANE, but then...well. PWP! I wrote it! This never happens, guys, so...enjoy. In case you’re like WHO IN THE HELL IS BRENDON URIE? Here is a visual. He’s really hot and he makes funny faces like Darren does when he sings. Obviously they are MFEO.

In which everyone works in the adult film industry. AU.

Jensen Ackles was the porn industry’s leading star for years, until Jared Padalecki came along. Jensen’s world-weary and disillusioned. Jared’s… not.

Chris winds up on Chord's lap during the Glee Live! tour. A lot. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

For this prompt on the kink meme: Chris was fine with Kurt getting his first kiss with a boy before he did, and he was fine with Kurt getting a boyfriend before he did. But when he reads the script for the senior prom episode (a.k.a. the one where Kurt and pretty much all of ND book hotel rooms and go all the way), he decides that he's had enough of being jealous that his on-screen alter ego is getting all the action. After a long and thorough process of deciding who the lucky recipient of his V-card is going to be (seriously, he made flowcharts), he decides on Darren, who -- after being reassured that Chris hasn't fallen madly in love with him, he just wants Darren to fuck him in the ass -- Darren happily obliges. Hot first-time sex ensues.

A world in which werewolves and magic thrive within the shadows of modern society. The night of his party, Dom is attacked by a werewolf. Colin finds himself coming to Dom's defense in a fight that results in Colin killing the werewolf. Mortally wounded, Colin tries to save his friend by any means necessary—including embracing Dom as his cub. However, Colin quickly discovers something is drastically wrong. Dom’s been marked by an older alpha, one with magical powers. It’s a race against time as Colin’s Alpha and several of the fellowship are drawn to save Dom. Secrets are uncovered, and they find themselves in a standoff with another pack—one that wants revenge against the one who killed their brother and pack member.

“You really are good at that,” Dylan says, echoing his thoughts. “Good at what, exactly?” Chris says, lifting one finger to his mouth and licking it, which makes Dylan’s eyelashes flutter. “All of it,” Dylan sighs. “All of it. All the parts.”

In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

I've been calling this The Sexual Misadventures of Sidney Crosby forever, and that gives you an idea, but just in case: in which Sidney wins a gold medal, has sex (a lot), falls in love (twice), and breaks a bunch of rules.

“Write what you know” was good enough advice for Jo March, so it’s good enough for Patrick Kane.

Kaner wakes up soulbonded to Tazer. Then gay shit happens.

“Write what you know” was good enough advice for Jo March, so it’s good enough for Patrick Kane.

The body of the email just says, “don’t fuck seguin” because Jonny doesn’t know what capital letters are and he’s a controlling asshole even when he’s miles away, and attached to it is a spreadsheet that Patrick reluctantly opens. It’s color-coded with tabs and he’s not sure whether he wants to punch Jonny in the mouth or laugh in his face. Calling him in the middle of the airport is a really bad fucking idea and Patrick knows something about those, so he settles for sending Jonny a message. YOU SENT ME A JERK-OFF SCHEDULE FOR SWITZERLAND?!

It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.

“I kind of proved a lot of people wrong and proved to myself I can play this game in this body.” - Pat Kane Genderqueer AU.

Patrick answers his phone by reflex, but he can't pry open his eyes, so he has no idea who he's talking to. Or not talking, exactly, because all he can manage is a sort of groan. OR: the one where Tazer and Kaner have a baby via Stanley Cup

The last thing you want to do with the guy you've been hung up on for ages is teach him how to be decent at sex. So of course, that's exactly what Geno does. Featuring interfering Russians, thorough devirginization, and equal parts alcohol imbibing and hockey playing.

Geno is sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Sidney has a dresser drawer full of sex toys, but right now he's drawing a blank.

Generally speaking, Kaner is the kind of girl you hear before you see coming. In some cases, literally. --- AKA the one where Jonny accidentally watches Kaner and Segs fucking over skype.

Brent's got the werewolf thing pretty well under control after 24 years, but one little concussion and some emotional turmoil centered around his best friend/defensive partner makes things harder than they've ever been before. (angsting, pining, hockey, werewolf, rinse repeat. Takes place during the 09-10 season.)

Kaner apparently starred in a porno at some point in his life. Jonny becomes very, very invested in watching it. Repeatedly.

When Canadian figure skater Jeff Skinner wrecked his knee, he never could have imagined that he'd end up helping pay his way through college as a live-in babysitter for Eric Staal's three-year-old son, Joey.

"Does it change you, being turned?" Patrick asks. "I mean, obviously the physical stuff, but does it change who you are?" Erica takes off her helmet, then leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "It depends on how much the physical stuff makes you who you are, I guess."

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

It takes 140 characters or less and one absolute fucking moron to change Jon's entire life forever. He should have known all along it would be Kaner. It always is.

AKA the one where Jonny learns to love Halloween and Patrick Kane discovers the powers of Vinyl Gloss 550 (Lovesick).

In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

Written for electricalgwen who graciously donated money to help_haiti in exchange for this story. Her prompt boiled down to, "Construction-worker!Jared, his buddies are always talking about and whistling at the gorgeous, stacked redhead who walks by the site every day, but he's more interested in the really hot guy... " And that is only part of this story.

In which Adam is a struggling singer and Misha is an eccentric artist, and somehow it all just works.

"Most high school kids who got lewd, cryptic notes from their bosses would probably have said bosses sued for sexual harassment. Most high school kids don't have bosses like Jensen."

what it says on the tin

In which KStew and Tazer meet in a bar, hookup, becoming bros who bone, talk about their gay crushes, and begin fake dating in an attempt to make said gay crushes jealous. Mostly in that order.

It happens a few more times, always with just the thinnest veneer of bro-y joking, until Xiao Zhan figures this is just a thing they do sometimes. Casual sexting among friends must just be something Yibo needs, and Xiao Zhan is selfishly glad he gets to provide it for him. He doesn't think about who else Yibo might have figured out as well as he's figured out Xiao Zhan, who else might get to do this with Yibo.

It'd be easier to stop, Xiao Zhan thinks, if it wasn't such great sex.

By the time Wang Yibo turns twenty, he's accepted that his dick is too big for sex, and he will be a virgin forever. Xiao Zhan begs to differ.

Xiao Zhan looks up, ears twitching. Yibo's staring straight at him, mouth hanging slightly open, a towel clutched around his waist. Oh, shit, Xiao Zhan thinks, blinking slowly once, twice, and then hops right back out the window again.

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!" "Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from. "Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"