Sequel to Mr Elric. It's obvious now that the community of Hogwarts wants a piece of Mr Elric, be it knowledge or attention. Ed's privacy is further invaded when forces beyond his control insist on contact with The Boy Who Lived.

So. In response to the question, "What would it look like if Edward Elric were as crazy as Allen Walker?" I said, well. CLEARLY I MUST WRITE THAT FIC.

Jean had gone to pick up the boss. He hadn’t anticipated any problems; the boss, despite everything, was pretty easy to get along with, and at this time of day, traffic wouldn’t even be bad. He hadn’t remembered the girlfriend until it was too late.

Rebecca was getting bored with Central.

“The problem is that they expect you. And I would prefer you didn’t destroy half the city getting in.”

On a less horrible note! This is one of the promised FMA/DGM crossovers—some DGM characters flung randomly into FMA-verse. *eyes fic dubiously* So the world of Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty sane, balanced, and logical. Sure, things are bad sometimes, things are complicated sometimes, but they make sense. And are usually, I don’t know, indefinably wholesome. DGM, meanwhile, is such a sick, twisted, chaotic crazy-factory that there are no words. Fitting them together: fun times. Also, Ed and Allen in the same room, BEST THING EVER. XD

You can always tell it’s Sunday by the yelling from the Elric house.

Fixing Al.

Roy is losing track of his dates, and Edward's travels are what grounds him.

Where the loss of ignorance is more valuable than the knowledge gained, and Edward figures out the source of alchemy a lot sooner than before. "Edward has cockroaches under his skin and leeches in his veins. He's vibrating and bursting and his body is too small, too big, doesn't fit quite right. He needs Al to know - needs to tell someone, anyone, but he will cut out his own tongue before he burdens anyone else with this knowledge."

Ed and Roy are going to get married. At least theoretically speaking… [AU after Brotherhood with major spoilers.]

Colonel Mustang's company receives a distress call -- coming from Alphonse Elric's AI.

Bleeding freely doesn't seem to inhibit Roy's talent for driving Ed insane.

Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people - "Something to say, Fullmetal?" Mustang drawls. Edward snaps the file shut, "Nope."

“You’ve heard the rumors,” Mustang says, looking at Ed over the top of his latest report, “about the angels.” Ed scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Angels don’t exist, don’t be ridiculous.” “Of course, of course,” he murmurs, gaze sliding back down, “There have been multiple eye witness accounts, however.” Ed slouches into the chair and doesn’t bother to keep the contempt to from his voice when he says, “Don’t depend on anything with wings to save you. Things that were made to leave always end up doing so, in the end.” “Yes, well,” he says, “sometimes they come back.”

Edward grabs Marcoh’s arm and says, “That stone – what can it heal, exactly?” The old man’s eyebrows rise to his forehead, and he looks like he already knows the answer when he goes, “Why do you ask, Edward?” There's no metallic footsteps so there’s no way Al’s close enough to hear them. “I’m sick,” he admits after another moment of deliberation.

Maes wakes up in the Elemental Countries after his death, and promptly gets into trouble. Genma gets him out of it.

The irresistible troll vs. the immovable hothead - fight!

FMA best case scenario. But the Elrics, even at peace and completely happy in themselves, are still kind of alarming to bystanders.

Greed is definitely not where he used to be, and the fact that he’s alive was a big clue there. Not like there’s been any research done on what happens to a Homunculus when they die, but Greed had rather been expecting nonexistence. “Well, fuck,” he says, and hopes that Father’s end was as painful as Edward’s imagination could make it.

Edward, Tobirama, some accidental dimension travel, and questions of methodology. Plus snark.

In a world where soulmates can feel the other's pain, being Edward Elric's comes with a whole host of problems.

The Akatsuki are hired to separate a certain prince from a certain homonculus. It doesn't go quite as planned for anyone involved.

Ed doesn't know how he got himself into this situation. And by situation, he means dancing the lead role in a ballet he barely knows.

Esdras Al-Ridha is born in 1899, in his mother’s family home. His birth certificate, when it’s written a month later by Dr. Yuriy Rockbell, will declare his name Edward Elric. It will name his mother Trisha, and it will say nothing of her white hair. It will say nothing of the blue desert sky he first opens his eyes under, the way he is passed to relative after relative and is held and blessed by each. (Even before the war, tensions are high, and hatred is brewing. Tirzah holds her newborn son, with eyes as gold as his father’s, and pale-sun hair halfway there, and she decides that if Ishvala wants him hidden, then Tirzah will not brand him where his genes have not.)

In which Midoriya Inko happens to be the reincarnation of one Izumi Curtis- and the world will never be the same.

In which Yuri Plisetsky began life with the name Edward Elric, and this has made the world of figure skating a significantly stranger and more alarming place. “Are you saying you lived a life of crime before you began skating?” “I’m gonna have to check the statute of limitations on a couple things and get back to you on that.”

Sabo and Koala visit Amestris and take back a souvenir which is fortunate because Ace really needs all the help he can get after his brush with Akainu. Or Ace becomes a merman because of reasons.