Anonymous asked: Dave/Karkat/Jade urban fantasy. Dave is a vampire, Jade is a werewolf, and Karkat is so done with all this supernatural bullshit. (not super urban hahaha)

CG: BY THE WAY. CG: I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU HAVE NOT A) DRAGGED ME INTO SOME VAMPIRES/WEREWOLVES OR VAMPIRES/HUNTERS WAR, AND B) FORGOTTEN I MIGHT CARE TO BE TOLD IF YOU WERE AT WAR WITH ANY ASSHOLES OUT HERE AND *IN DEATHLY DANGER.*

The youngest was the fairest of all, and her name was Beauty. Beauty only came out at night.

Steve has some unique needs now that he's a super soldier. (Vampire AU.)

"Okay," you say, your mouth dry, "okay. What the fuck is this supposed to be?" Bro smirks at you from the couch. "Dessert," he says. His eyes glow through the douchebag shades he took off some kid you guys ate last month. He pets John's hair absently and John does nothing, a puppet whose strings aren't getting pulled. "Can't tell me you don't want him, kiddo."

“First thing is simple, I’m going to feel your pulse points, see where’s going to be best for me to sink my teeth in.” Brian laughs a little. Pat thinks it would be villainous, if someone else said that. Or... the friendly vampire!au no one asked for.

I like to daydream about Mustang and Ed's stupid adventures in diplomacy after they've taken control of the country. Emphasis on stupid. Ed is trans because 1) because and 2) silentwalrus' headcanons have seeped into the groundwater at this point.

Everyone knows Zhenya got the bite too early. Zhenya knows it most of all.

Nicky wanted a family. He wanted a family very much, but not like this.

The first time Connor sees him, in person, he’s wearing a backwards hat and holding a Frappuccino. He looks eighteen and very much not like a member of the undead.

This person was panting, his shoulders heaving violently as his eyes scanned the room for more threats. His hands were tensed like weapons, hooked black talons extended through his gloves, ready to rip and tear. That was the first indicator that something was truly wrong. Hawks would never willingly use his “unsightly” talons as weapons. The second was that his mouth... his mouth was covered in blood. It streamed down his chin, flecked at the corners of his lips, and coated two large fangs that he had most definitely not possessed at the start of the fight. He bared them at Dabi in a savage hiss. They were long, at least a full inch, and the sight of them awakened some ancient nervous instinct within him, telling him to run or fight, because the creature in front of him was a predator, and it was hungry. Most unnerving of all, though, were his eyes. The eyes that locked with Dabi’s were a startling crimson red, a far cry from their usual gold. Dabi’s breath caught in his throat. ~~~ The mission Dabi and Hawks are on goes south. Dabi learns something he was never meant to know.

"Timmers sucked me pregnant," Jason blurts, and Tim watches in morbid fascination as Bruce goes through the five stages of grief in a millisecond. "I thought you said you weren't… sleeping together," Bruce says reproachfully. "He means that I, uh, impregnated him with my teeth. When I drank his blood. No sex involved," Tim explains. "It was an accident. I didn't even know I could do that."