Ron walked back into the room, carrying a basket filled with ripe, glistening fruits, quite different from Mrs. Weasley's biscuits and candies. "There's even a note. 'I do hope we can put all this behind us. -- V'"

Inspired by the "Desolation Row" video. Basically my first thought (once I was able to THINK again, that is) after watching it was...'there needs to be fic where Bob is in handcuffs and blows the other four guys in turn.' So then I told everybody (because I *am* that stupid) that I was gonna write it blah blah so I would have no choice BUT to write it. That's the only way I get things done, it seems.

response to the Star Trek XI Kink Meme that got away from me. Original prompt: Kirk/Spock/Uhura - bondage, with Spock being the one restrained. Bonus if Spock has to watch Kirk/Uhura first.

Severus knows something strange is happening and he thinks there is a new Dark Lord, but things are stranger than he could ever have imagined.

Merlin has two pretty toys to play with.

Patrick loves the tentacle beds. Bob is not so sure.

Neal forgot to turn off his audio transmitter before engaging in some personal business. Well, "forgot"...

Going back to Hogwarts Harry notes another who seems to be as depressed as he used to be. He decides to help.

Smutty, kinky, threesome slash.

Abed only wants to be tied up when he's Batman. Annie only wants to do the tying when she's Annie. Troy's up for anything, especially if it involves butts, nipples, or kissing. Best. Scene. Ever?

Barry agrees to a deal with the devil and finds himself enjoying it a lot more than he expected.

Gaara calls the shots; Lee gets the attention; but Sakura inevitably gets what she wants.

In which John learns to balance a kinky girlfriend, an asexual boyfriend, a ten-inch cock, his sister, the neighbours, his friends, and his blog. Some are more balanced than others.

They'd never talked about sex in the year they'd known each other. Well, that wasn't quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

Why the Beforan equivalent of yourself didn't appear here, you're not sure, though you suspect it has something to do with direct and indirect transference and the extent to which each of you had contact with game code prior to this remix of the universe; the Ancestors from Alternia had vague memories of being their Beforan selves, so both versions re-instanced, but as far as you know you're the only version of Sollux Captor the game was aware of. Poor Sollux, you jeer internally, all alone in the world. If you were to quadrant yourself, you're not sure whether self-hate or self-pity would be the dominant emotion, but either way, you're getting off on it. God, you make yourself sick. You hold your bulge like you're trying to restrain it, but who the fuck are you kidding. It wraps around your fingers, both tendrils snaking and coiling harder the more you try to will them to stop, like don't-think-of-a-trunkbeast, and you rub at them distractedly because you can't stand not to. Sollux Captor, system architect of the new universe, reduced to thinking with his bulge by two copies of his ancestor being obnoxious at each other. Fuck your hot life.

In the end, getting Law to agree to spending the night with them had been the easy part. Knocking down a few of his walls was going to be much more difficult. Law/Zoro/Sanji

Wufei is made to watch and wait.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

"To be clear," Zevran said, offering his own glass to the Iron Bull on the correct assumption that he wouldn't much care what he drank from, "I have nothing against bedding married couples. I find it can be quite exhilarating."

Jack has already secured Dylan to the bed when Connor walks in. Jack slipped him an extra key card after practice. It’s the perfect entrance.