Sometimes, old warriors do get to retire.

“Make me a sandwich,” Parker says, so he does. “Cut the damn wire,” says Hardison, so he does. “Jump,” says Parker, says Hardison, and he never needs to ask, “How high?”

It happens slowly enough for Abed to get used to the idea.

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Abed asks, one afternoon, when they're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Abed asks, one afternoon, when they're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

Abed only wants to be tied up when he's Batman. Annie only wants to do the tying when she's Annie. Troy's up for anything, especially if it involves butts, nipples, or kissing. Best. Scene. Ever?

"Road trip," Abed says, nodding approvingly. "One car. Seven people. A country's worth of dramatic situations ripe for both comedy and tragedy."

Triangles are resolved and character roles are explored at La Casa de Trobed.

Drunktuesdays: Anyone can feel free to write me a story where everyone has to go to the Pacific Northwest Werewolf Symposium and Derek explains it would be BAD FORM for an Alpha to turn up without a mate, especially the ONLY TRUE ALPHA IN A HUNDRED YEARS, and its not like Scott can bring KIRA because duhhhh foxes and wolves don’t get along. Stiles sucks in a breath because he loves this shit, he’s gonna get his FAKE BOYFRIEND on when Derek says, quiet, “I can—you know, stand in.”

Annie, Troy, and Abed bake a pie and have sex. I have no idea why it's eleven thousand words.

Seven and Ace hang out with Troy and Abed.

cnihtofrage asked: I know you wrote at least one sequel to Amateur Palemates, but think I remember another one where Sollux figures out what's going on? two of them actually, one of them just actual pale exhibitionism treated seriously, and one of them ashen by way of pale exhib; they’re forever WIP that i posted teasers for in several places, but i never found a satisfying conclusion. here’s all i’ve got, you can see the ashen one has a clumsy POV and starts to meander toward the end and i don’t know where the fuck i’m leading it. i do like a lot of the dialogue quite a bit though.

This is an AU in which the elemental countries are modern nation-states locked into an uneasy regional standoff. Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke (and others!) meet at a summer camp as children, and later end up working both to create a more lasting peace and to move their country away from a clan-based oligarchy toward a true democracy. Or something like that. I was just trying to write a 'camp counselors at a lake' thing, but the sociopolitical background took me hostage and ran away with my writing mojo. *wry*

Rukia and Orihime decide to make Ichigo shared property: Genderswap edition

Closet 'verse sequel (what it says on the tin)

Team Girls shall be victorious! Or, Rukia and Orihime decide to make Ichigo shared property.

Annie isn't jealous of Abed and Troy having sex at all.

Annie, Abed, and Troy have a close encounter of the threesome kind in the Dreamatorium.

Things aren’t going according Annie’s plan. The gang graduates.

Annie still can’t believe she’s even asking the question.

Troy and Abed and Annie in the bedroom! (Or, how Troy and Abed asked Annie to join them, and how she figured out that it was okay to say yes.)

Annie didn't plan to act on her feelings, of course. But then Britta went on her rant about porn.

Annie has put a lot of time and effort into being a normal person. Troy and Abed, not so much.

Abed's attempt to foster room-mate bonding via TV shows doesn't work as well as he would have hoped. Is there anything he, Troy and Annie can all agree on?

The party was sprawled across nine different rooms, and Kris ended up getting detoured half a dozen times before he finally managed to track down the bar and get Adam and Katy's drinks and a beer for him.

Scott said, "Here, catch," and Isaac looked up to see a glass arcing through the air, aimed at his head.

"His name is Tim and I think my dick will never understand the difference between fear and arousal again."

"I don't taunt you with relationships with other men. I have relationships with other men because you leave me unfulfilled and angry and ready to punch someone in the dick."

Sakura just wants everyone to get along, almost as much as she wants to get laid.

Allison is the first person he sees when he gets back.

After regionals, he hits a low. This isn’t particularly surprising – Rei has been doing so good for so long, engaged and alive and happy, he thinks, a little bit happy, so of course a low would have to come and even things out – but how unsurprising it is doesn’t comfort Rei when he wakes up feeling the first embers of something slow and sad and dark burning low in his stomach.

"You can't tell me you didn't pick up jack shit while you were living with the tongue freak and his harem of boytoys." It shouldn't be difficult for three teammates and friends to figure out how they fit, both figuratively, and... not. And yet.

Monogamy is for a world where your life expectancy is more than double your current age, and sometimes things get complicated.

There are things he doesn't remember. Some of which he knows.

Considering that he had picked up what was probably a Sith artifact, promptly passed out in the middle of a war zone, and apparently woken up twenty years in the future with Obi-Wan having taken up residence in his head, Anakin thought he was entitled to have a few questions.

"We should talk about Eliot," Alec says, at the same time Parker says, "We should have sex in a hammock."

The ability to render oneself intangible at will occasionally turns up as a superpower. These questions you have? Don't ask them. Notes: Takes place before The Empath and We Can Rebuild Him, but after Entropy and Chaos Magic.

Leverage, Were!any/any(/any), The realisation that lycanthropy is spread through bodily fluids and so sex is totally out of the question.

Leverage, Hardison/Eliot/Parker, They can't say it with words but it's hidden in their actions (mostly in the ones no one else would ever guess)

“We don’t fight that much,” Dex says quietly. “You totally do,” Chowder says, “and sometimes you fight over me, which like. Guys. I know you’re doing it. I can hear you.” Nursey says, “let’s just turn on the game.”

Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

In a world where everyone is born bearing the mark of their soulmate, happiness should be guaranteed; nothing is ever so simple.

Tonight she keeps a close eye on him. His face is bright with an harsh kind of mania. "Go to sleep, Eren," she says, after a while. There are smears of sleepless black beneath his eyes. He shakes his head, a book in his hands.

Eliot's their hitter, and taking on any physical threats to the team is his job, but there's something beyond professionalism – even beyond the obvious fact that Eliot relishes the fight itself – in the way he puts his body between Parker or Alec and any potential threat. Alec has a good view of Eliot's back on a lot of jobs, and he reads something in the tight line of Eliot's shoulder, in the slow turn of his foot as he steps into a fighting stance. Something possessive. Series

While he's waiting for the men with the guns to decide what to do with him, Alec thinks about what he'll do if he gets home.

Sakura has grown adept at recognising the point at which a fever teeters between recovery and fatality.

Eliot is baking pies. Alec and Parker are hoping to eat pies.

Parker doesn't understand why it has to be more complicated than: "I want to be with you, I just don't want to sleep with you." It's everyone else who has the problem. (Parker as a biromantic asexual.)

Cullen struggles with his lyrium addiction. Some days are better than others. Or (if you prefer a silly summary for a not-so-silly fic): In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots.

Is a good offense. Jupiter figures some shit out and makes a move.