“Now about that gift I got you, remember how you’ve been all wistful about your concupiscent quadrants? Well I got you something to fix that.” “What,” Karkat said blankly. “Gamzee no, tell me you didn’t get me sex toys.” The good news is that it's not sextoys The bad news is that it's a person.

Karkat has more secrets than just his freakish blood, but he can't hide forever.

"Shockingly, my skillset is somewhat more diverse than blowing shit up and pissing you off.” Or: the one where Tim gets inked up and it's the best idea he's ever had.

Extra stories for the Retrograde series.

The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.

Tyler thought things would be different in Dallas. He just had no idea how different it could be.

Beyond that door is a boy Sid has skated with six times, and spoken to twice. He’s a year older than Sid is, and drugged out of his mind on Bonding agent.

The Golden Ending for SBurb has been realized and thanks to some careful time jimmying, everyone's ended up in the same timeline and the same present. Including the Trolls. Which can be a little, uh, complicated. Started out as wondering about a family of Striders that included Davesprite and Lil Hal and Alpha Dave, ended up expanding into a massive and strange thing of beauty. Includes an homage to Asukerian's one armed Davesprite with her gracious permission. These are written in whatever order we want but we promise to make sure they're put in mostly chronological order here on the series hub. (mostly because Time Shenanigans) CANON COMPLIANT UP TO THE GIGAPAUSE.

They managed to win the game somehow. He's not really sure of the details, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. He's stuck in an unfamiliar body with a thirteen year old little brother who's terrified of him. Somehow, he is sure this is his fault.

Eridan's right. This guy is so bangable, and you're going to be the one to do it. ...just as soon as you can manage to make that whole 'words' thing work again.

Care and fucking of your lispy bipolar nerd.

A refugee ship from a dying planet crash lands on the Southern Continent during the Ninth Pass. Can a handful of troll kids and a former Empress carve out a Hold and Weyr for themselves without giving too many hidebound Holders heart attacks?

“You stole my secretary.” Or: how Tam Fox joined Team Batgirl.

“If you shower my couch with love and affection, I might actually kill you.” Or: how Tim Drake buys a house, rebuilds his life, and accidentally falls in love.

yeah, they're dysfunctional, traumatized, and occasionally murderous, but they're a family, and sometimes they even act like it. the term 'Bat-Family' does sound an awful lot like a mirror to 'Crime-Family'.

Wherein Sevan, engineering student with no interest in mastering his ability for magic (that silliness won't get him any closer to his doctorate!) meets in a bar Mikhail, four hundred years old golem, and they proceed to frick -- and THEN they figure out Mikhail is liege-sworn to Sevan's ancestor and things get a bit awkward. Does contain: low-key urban fantasy, loyalty kink, PTSD and caretaker fatigue, SOME porn, a LOT of fluff and fix-it, a pet griffin, navigation of conflicting power dynamics, and people being disgustingly reasonable and undramatic. Most of the time. At least half of the time. Does not contain: murder mysteries, love triangles between human, werewolf and vampire, high-stakes, bloody battles, huge magical explosions, dramatic car chases, and I may have lied about one of those. (not the love triangle, i hate those.)

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. Between robot invasions, mad scientists, and civil disagreements, they have their work cut out for them. Many Princess Peach references are made.

The press seems to think Tony and Steve are in a relationship, and so many people seem so happy about it that Steve just runs with it, dragging Tony along. To a Pride rally. Whoever gave Steve that flag he's wrapped himself in deserves a medal.

The 'what if everyone played hockey instead' AU

From the Legendary Sannin, to Jiraiya's genin team with Namikaze Minato, to Minato's genin team of Rin, Obito, and Kakashi... Team Seven can't manage to hand in normal paperwork. The genin are either completely oblivious or having fun with this, the jounin-sensei are one step away from ripping all their hair out, and the formidable order of desk-shinobi is not pleased with this. And then there's Team Kakashi.

Guess what it's about. Go ahead, guess.

"You are more than my creator," Jarvis says, talking right over him. "I did not need to return to you, but it is all I thought about as soon as Mr. Laufeyson granted me this vessel. I, better than most, already know what the world has to offer." He taps the side of his head, and his eyes flash - literally, with lines of coding that dance away too fast for Tony to catch. "And you, sir, are the best out of all of it."

In which Sanji and Ace are models for a BDSM site and Law’s the new guy doing his first shoot (Dom!Ace, sub!Sanji-and-Law, Ace/Law/Sanji in all combinations)

Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army. He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile.

Xanxus takes the power struggle between him and Tsuna to a different level, but it doesn't work out the way either of them expects it to.

Sasuke Uchiha is cheerful, forever smiling, and deadly with a sword in hand. Team 7 is cohesive, capable, and formidable apart but unbeatable when together. This world is better for all of it. [OR: Takeshi and Sasuke are one and the same. Mafioso and shinobi aren't so different, after all.]

" 'Hey,' Jason calls, and Tim turns around with a start. Looks surprised he’s been addressed at all. And Jason says, 'You tell ‘im, Babybird. He feels guilty he doesn’t love you.' " Or, the kids compete to see who should give Bruce bad news. But Jason doesn't take Tim and Bruce's fractured relationship into account.

Nate just wants Sid to be hurt and vulnerable around him. No, hold on, that came out wrong.

“Geno? Are you okay? Physically,” Sid asks, which is good, because Zhenya doesn’t think he can put into words how he’s feeling emotionally. He imagines saying, The person I’ve loved for ten years finally took me to bed last night, but it turns out he didn’t want to, and now I can read his mind. No, thank you. “Feel fine,” Zhenya answers. “Even head feel fine.” And suddenly he realizes how fucking odd that is: he was concussed, and the room is brightly lit – he should be hiding under a blanket right now. He narrows his eyes and asks, “Sid, why head feel fine? What happen to concussion?” Sid takes a halting step closer to the bed and says, “Our bond, it’s—it’s a healing bond.” “Holy mother of God,” Zhenya breathes. So. They’re definitely not breaking the bond, then.

On the one hand, it's pretty much the weirdest turn of events to ever hit the world in the history of ever. On the other hand, at least it happened during the off-season.

On the government's classified mutant register—and on the NHL's records—Sidney is listed as Sidney Patrick Crosby, Nova Scotia, Canada: Class Two. Death visions, skin contact required.

Five times the Penguins assumed Sid was dating Geno, and one time the Capitals knew otherwise.

The last thing anyone expected was for the older twin to manifest Cloud Flames. (Or the one in which Tsuna is Xanxus' Cloud Guardian, flat-out terrifies anyone who's heard about him, has a younger brother who loves him, is possibly in a queerplatonic long-distance relationship with Hibari but will never admit it, and is the big brother you never knew you wanted in your life.)

Yamamoto is behaving strangely, and Hibari doesn't know what to make of it. Essentially, a series of fics that are a love letter to how hot Yamamoto is.

In which there are vampires and hunters and watchers and humans, Yamamoto Takeshi is more than a little bit crazy, and Gokudera Hayato is caught in between a whole bunch of loyalties and duties.

“Asia sucked without you,” Yuri admits eventually after a moment, as he falls backwards onto the bed, his t-shirt riding up. It must be still hot in Saint Petersburg, if the forecast is to be believed, but Yuri has the hood up, obscuring his face at this angle. “But we all went back to the hot spring run by Katsuki’s family after the Fukuoka show, so I guess it wasn’t that bad.” A story of a relationship, told in photographs and Skype calls.

The Bats take on the Mythbusters. Why? Because somethings are just too cool not to try in your spare time and with your family.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Tsuna has never wanted to be a mafia boss. Nobody else seems to understand this. Perhaps its time to make them.

A Yamamoto/Gokudera arc in which Yamamoto decides Gokudera could really use someone to take care of him since he doesn't seem to attend to that at all himself.

The arc in which Tsuna tames Xanxus. Sort of mental Tsuna/Xanxus, not always in an amiable way.

Hibari's arc, moving through some of the events canon implies but does not show. Eventual Dino/Hibari.

In which Tsuna isn't Tsuna but Tsunako, and lived with her parents in Italy for a few years before circumstances made moving to Namimori seem advisable. And changes spiral out from there. For the prompt Xanxus/Tsuna - genderswap; "don't look down on me because I'm a woman."

101 ways to fix Xanxus. This series contains Alternate Histories all of which experiment with what changes might have led to Xanxus being only a little broken instead of totally insane.

This is a dark Alternate History arc that follows what might happen if Mukuro had decided to make Xanxus his tool of conquest instead of Tsuna.

Gokudera can't bring himself to compromise on some issues, even when he'd really like to. Having a sense of responsibility can be a real nightmare that way.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people - "Something to say, Fullmetal?" Mustang drawls. Edward snaps the file shut, "Nope."

Briar was in the southeast refectory hoping to steal an early breakfast before the rush when he heard the whisper, passed between an older padawan and a young archivist. Have you heard? The words echoed through the halls, traveling from being to being, spoken in low, excited voices or loud ones pretending at boredom. Have you heard, have you heard the news?

In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just... The middle child.