"You're fucking with me." Tim blinks up at his uncle – and he's never seen his uncle in full armor before, not in person. It's kind of daunting. "Please tell me you're fucking with me, spawn."

Sasuke Uchiha is cheerful, forever smiling, and deadly with a sword in hand. Team 7 is cohesive, capable, and formidable apart but unbeatable when together. This world is better for all of it. [OR: Takeshi and Sasuke are one and the same. Mafioso and shinobi aren't so different, after all.]

When Harry was eleven years old, his Hogwarts letter came by owl. He'd been accidentally blowing windows open and lighting cauliflower on fire for years. James took Harry to go get his wand at Ollivanders, and Lily took Dudley to the Owl Emporium where he tried to convince her they should build an aviary in the backyard. They came home with a fat black cat who hissed at everyone. Dudley named him Spooks, and Lily called him Monster. "Did you have to?" said James. "That is the meanest beast I've ever met, and I've known Remus unmedicated on full moons and a pubescent Sirius thwarted in love." Lily, who had ink on her cheek and a ballpoint pen stuck behind her ear, waved vaguely at the living room without looking up from her arrest report. Dudley was asleep in an armchair. The cat sprawled across his lap. Both its front paws were wrapped around Dudley's arm as it cleaned his wrist with aggressive fondness. "Alright," said James. "Yeah, you had to."

Thirteen is too young to gain eight years of memories that might come to pass--especially when you don't even know what to do with yourself in the present. But when the future is that bloody and dark, do you have any choice but to try to change it? He remembers the absolute agony of the doctors trying to save him, which finally sent him into blissful unconsciousness— —except he doesn’t remember any of that. Tsuna’s last memory is of putting his head down on his desk and falling asleep to the sound of the teacher’s droning, thirteen years old and tired of not understanding a word, not of being twenty-two and beloved and dying.

Orochimaru and his sons crash-land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what’s coming.

" 'Hey,' Jason calls, and Tim turns around with a start. Looks surprised he’s been addressed at all. And Jason says, 'You tell ‘im, Babybird. He feels guilty he doesn’t love you.' " Or, the kids compete to see who should give Bruce bad news. But Jason doesn't take Tim and Bruce's fractured relationship into account.

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

A series of vignettes about Tsuna, his guardians, and the people closest to him—snapshots of the impact they all have on each other (and that life has on them) over ten years. He never wanted to stand out, not in either direction. Is that really too much to ask? He’s not asking for great! He’s asking for normal, normal. Apparently it is too much to ask. Apparently it’s always going to be all or nothing with him.

Yamamoto and Gokudera have lunch together every Saturday. Tsuna can't decide if this is a good thing or just the cause of more ridiculous problems.

Everyone watching the spectacle that is Hibari Kyouya raising a child in fascinated horror. Hibari treats child-rearing almost exactly like animal-training—the same basic pattern modified for a bipedal, very intelligent creature. It’s a little upsetting to watch. On the other hand, both his animals and his child seem happy, if odd, so maybe it works out.

Hana finds that it’s difficult to take care of your best friend when your best friend has all the self-preservation instincts of a lemming. Hana doesn’t know how this happened. No, wait, she does know how it happened. Kyoko made that pleading face, and Hana is weak to the pleading face. She knew Kyoko made poor life choices, but she didn’t realize they were contagious.

The Bats take on the Mythbusters. Why? Because somethings are just too cool not to try in your spare time and with your family.

The last thing anyone expected was for the older twin to manifest Cloud Flames. (Or the one in which Tsuna is Xanxus' Cloud Guardian, flat-out terrifies anyone who's heard about him, has a younger brother who loves him, is possibly in a queerplatonic long-distance relationship with Hibari but will never admit it, and is the big brother you never knew you wanted in your life.)

In which Tsuna’s the Corpse Whisperer. (Or: In the months he spends at the Varia Compound at Timoteo’s behest, Tsuna manages to stumble across enough forgotten dead bodies to fill entire cemeteries. And everyone is terribly amused. Except, y’know, for him.)

The one in which Tsuna and his friends consciously disperse to the four winds when they reach high school, and somehow, all of Tsuna's classmates manage to fall desperately for him before the end of their first year together. And have to find some way to deal with it, since life doesn't stop just because the most unremarkable guy in their year seemed to become irresistible overnight. The most popular defense in their arsenal? Is the phrase, "Sawada Tsunayoshi? Makes. No. Sense." (Or: All Tachibana Ren had wanted was to make a place for himself, away from Iwatobi and the protective hovering of his family. Nothing could have prepared him or the rest of his class for what getting through high school alongside one Sawada Tsunayoshi would mean for them in the long run.)

Growing up in the Mafia isn't necessarily an easy or kind thing. The earth spins, life moves on, and Tsuna finds himself taking slow steps forward, back and forward again. (Or, ten times that Tsuna remembers it being easier to have sex with Xanxus rather than dealing with the insanity of the world around him)

It's time for Bianchi to come into her own, whether she likes it or not.

Jason has small, meaningless interactions with his family. The media outlets of Gotham disagree.

"This is the fortieth time." Jason says, "Just to point that out. I'm not complaining, or anything."

Derek thinks that the mating rituals are overly romanticized bullshit, but claiming a mate and defending them from challengers is something werewolves do, and his pack can't afford to appear weak after the fire. Especially not when Deucalion and his friends are in town for the rituals. Enter Stiles Stilinski, who offers to let Derek claim him so he won't be overrun at the ceremonies. Nothing goes as expected.

It took Xanxus two years to bring himself to Japan to visit Hibari instead of waiting for Hibari to come and visit him in Italy. Two years and the realization that he wanted more from their relationship than spontaneous visits that began with destructive fights and ended with them bloodied in bed. Once there, things that have been developing over time finally, finally, come to fruition.

When Hibari orders a bottle of sake at the end of their dinner, Gokudera decides to push his luck and stick around to drink with him. When Yamamoto drifts into the conversation with bitter words about his soulmate, the three of them reveal who they have and what they think of their fated partners. When Gokudera decides to help the drunken Hibari home, he discovers temptation has dark eyes, cold hands, and whispered admissions.

Briar was in the southeast refectory hoping to steal an early breakfast before the rush when he heard the whisper, passed between an older padawan and a young archivist. Have you heard? The words echoed through the halls, traveling from being to being, spoken in low, excited voices or loud ones pretending at boredom. Have you heard, have you heard the news?

Tsuna and his guardians died in a blaze of glory. Then they woke up, slowly, one at a time, in a different world that was the same in all the ways that really mattered. Or the one where Tsuna and his guardians are reincarnated into the class below the Konoha rookie nine.

Hibari is starting to doubt that his carefully ordered world will ever recover from Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Originally, Gaara thought the plan - brought to him by a desperate and shaken Naruto on the last holding place of the world's few remaining shinobi - was both insane and impossible. No one ever accused Gaara of being sane, nor sensible, so he agreed anyway. He hadn't really expected it to work.

“What do you mean, you’re related to the Nidaime?!” Izumo demands, hands flapping faintly like he can’t decide whether to strangle Kotetsu or flail.

“Oh?” Orochimaru asks sweetly, trying to judge the room they're in. Some sort of military headquarters, predictably. “They let me keep my doctorates? How kind. But I assume this wasn’t a test of how many low-level guards I could put in the morgue—” “Three,” the younger soldier standing at Danzō’s shoulder cuts in, righteous anger darkening his features. “Three in the morgue, six in the hospital.” “Oh my, you caught me on an off day.” Orochimaru gives the young man his best flirtatious smirk. “Come back tomorrow and I promise, I’ll at least double both counts.” (Or, that Suicide Squad!AU no one asked for and no one wanted, but I wrote anyway. I'm not sorry.)

Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people - "Something to say, Fullmetal?" Mustang drawls. Edward snaps the file shut, "Nope."

tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results.

All men are not created equal. This is a simple truth Izuku has known ever since he was four, when he first realized what it meant to have a quirk like his; a quirk that forces him to consume human flesh to survive. When it seems like his poor mother can't live with the burden of raising something like him any longer he leaves, hoping to at least grant her the peaceful life she deserves. At the same time, Katsuki witnesses something that changes the way he sees himself forever. With the guilt of causing Izuku's 'death' constantly looming over him he continues to fight and claw his way to the top. It would be a lot easier if he didn't have this freak who reminds him so much of the kid he'd bullied into suicide constantly being shoved in his face. --- In which Izuku is a ghoul, Inko tries and fails to protect her son, Katsuki thinks he's a murderer, Shigaraki is creepy, and All Might tries his best. Tags will be updated as necessary.

Lyanna Mormont keeps the ravens.

The Asgardians' ship stops for supplies. The price is not what Thor and Loki had expected; the aliens demand nothing less than a public royal fucking. Ok, it's not like it's the weirdest thing they've ever done.

Jeyne Snow and her siblings as the world falls apart around them.

The Sith Lord Darth Vader lived his life. He probably didn't live it well, but he lived it as well as he knew how. At the end there, he'd even managed to woman up and kill Sidious. But he was dying, and at peace with the past. The past wasn't at peace with him.

As a last resort, they finally send Mikoto to talk to her. Kushina's not impressed, even though she has to admire their tenacity. They’ve tried three different elders, the woman who works at the ramen stand she likes almost as much as Teuchi’s, and Fugaku. Apparently, after the utter failure of that last one, they're attempting to pull out all the stops.

Trisha and Van's first child, Edith, was born a beautiful, healthy girl. The only problem? Ed knew he was a boy.

Kakashi lives in the darkness, which is more than he deserves, but for Naruto he'll step into the light.

“-my mother was not Lyanna fucking Stark!” Jon exclaimed, before turning and kicking, vehemently at the sofa, enough to leave brown dustmarks on the purple cloth. He turned back to her, lifting a finger threateningly. “I don’t care what you say. But our father would never- never- sleep with his sister, in fact I don’t even know why I’m telling you this because guess what, Sansa? You should already know that!” [Sansa tries to tell Jon who his mother is. Jon thinks he’s an incest-baby. Which........ isn’t wrong.]

It had been a slash across her chest from a White Walker’s sword that finally ended her life. Sansa’d landed in a puddle of her own blood, and she’d died quickly, quietly. And then she’d awoken with a gasp, trembling, in a bed that had burned under Theon’s betrayal.

Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

Set around ch.307. Spoilers. Trying to fix a three man team has its own quirks for Sakura, especially when there are four people involved.

Midoriya Izuku was born with a quirk: the ability to summon and bind demons from an alternate plane to do his bidding. With only a few days left until the UA entrance exam and still no offensive-type demons in his arsenal, Izuku makes a desperate attempt at summoning one corporeal, a feat he had never before attempted. He'd say it was a success but, he doesn't actually know if it'll be more a help or a hindrance. Especially since Bakugou Katsuki is, well, kind of a shit.

In which Tsuna doesn't understand what the rest of the world is watching him for.

Midoriya Izuku, determined to become a hero before ever meeting All Might, looks for another way. He might not have a quirk, but that can’t be all that being a hero is about. He has the intelligence, the drive, the determination. All he needs now is to know how to use it. Enter Aizawa Shouta.

“Mom! Dad! Father! Someone’s at the door!” “Oh gods,” Sakura mutters, head halfway buried under the pillow. “How did she get your lungs, Naruto?” There's a sound of tired agreement from her left, though Sasuke doesn’t even attempt to pick his face up out of the mattress. “You're the medic-nin,” Naruto says, amused, and pushes up on one elbow to squint blearily at the bedroom door. “Want to draw straws?” “You're already up,” Sasuke probably says, though even Naruto's ears have a hard time catching it. “And before eight they're your kids.”

The first person Kakashi meets when he staggers out of the house, covered in blood, is Uchiha Obito.

There's a monster whispering in Minato's head, curled around his soul. It’s vast and hungry and full of fury, radiates it and basks in it and lets it spill over through the bars that cage it. If Minato had one ounce more energy, he would rage too, but— Anger is a luxury right now, an indulgence. He can't afford it.

“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.” It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential. Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”