Mission: What If? Fated Lovers On Another Planet has successfully been activated! This is Shang Qinghua's fault.

The fight is brief and unsatisfying. The whole thing takes no more than five minutes and no more than two swords. They still hum for blood as Zoro sheathes them and faces the gang's growling, pissed off boss. “Fine,” the man shouts. “We’ll take you then, huh? Plenty of folks will pay to bring a big man down low,” he says nonsensically. “What—” A sharp pain in his ankle cuts him off. A downed man pulls a needle out of Zoro's skin.

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”). - The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

Sabito backs up from the table a little, presses his hands against the floor in front of him, and bows so deeply that his forehead almost brushes the tatami. “Please take me as your husband.” Giyū’s glad that Sabito waited until after he’d finished eating, because otherwise he would have probably choked on something in surprise.

Ever since he’d come out to his devout Roman Catholic family, Johnny had been told he was going to Hell. Seeing Simon “Ghost” Riley on his knees in front of him, looking like Lust incarnate, has him thinking Hell suits him far better than Heaven anyway. His blonde hair catches the fluorescents like a halo, and Johnny now knows exactly what the legends meant when they said the devil has angelic eyes. OR: Johnny needs proof that the aphrodisiac drug sample they're retrieving is real, so he tests it the only way he can with the resources he has: on himself. It's real, alright - he figures that out pretty quick.

Trapped and on the verge of being used as a human sacrifice, Jango's fellow prisoner, Obi-Wan Kenobi, managers to talk their captors into an alternate plan which puts Jango far closer to the jedi than he'd ever expected to be.

Tentatively, Suguru swipes his fingers through the slickness on his inner thighs. It’s thick - definitely too thick to be piss - and slightly tacky, sticking to his fingers when he pulls them apart. Inching his fingertips up, he follows the trail of wetness. His fingers graze just below his balls, meeting with a slit that definitely wasn’t there this morning... Pressing his fingers to the slit, he spreads them, revealing a tight, twitching hole and a little pink nub just below the apex of his new folds. A pussy… he has a pussy… Suguru ingests a curse that has some interesting side effects.

Hunters live in a world of blood and darkness, so when Dean gets turned into a vampire, not much changes for the Winchester brothers. Well, except for being on the lam from a Hunter’s Guild that wants them dead, sneaking around the world of seedy underground monster bars and sketchy voodoo practitioners in search of a fabled ‘cure’ and the little fact that Dean can’t seem to stop himself from molesting his brother when he feeds (and sometimes when he doesn’t). But as the lines between what they were raised to be and what they are get blurrier, Sam and Dean will have to decide how high a price they are willing to pay for a life in the light and what they’re willing to do for one another.

Sam and Dean have always been oddities among the dragonriders; the youngest man to Impress a Bronze dragon in a hundred years and a boy who turned his back on the riders to become a dragon healer instead. But when fate steps in and chooses a far different path for Sam, the brothers and all the Weyrs of Pern will have to come to terms with much greater changes in their traditions.

So, what else happened on that trip to Dorne? A series of standalone oneshots of Jaime and Bronn's absolutely canon adventures in Dorne...

“I’m fine,” Tim says - audibly, with his mouth and everything. Jason stares at it. “You sure?” Jason asks, tamping down the strain of panic rising in his chest. He’s pretty sure they’ve got a telepathy situation on their hands, and he fucking hates those. He’s not even beginning to think about the… content of the telepathy.

Bernard has Tim beta his fanfiction. It's get awkward. Meanwhile, Tim adored the self-insert/Red Robin fics Bernard's been writing and hiding from him.

Bruce Wayne is kidnapped by Poison Ivy. Superman comes to the rescue.

The wedding’s going to be tonight, presumably so no one involved has time to get cold feet, which gives Geralt just enough time to clean up and get the dirt off his armor and overthink every tiny little detail of this arrangement.