Funny. It was supposed to be funny. Seriously, Derek had lost a bet and Erica had been in charge of the stakes which had been awesome because Erica is the bomb at coming up with hilarious embarrassing shit and- This is all Erica's fault.

It's times like this Derek wishes he has facebook. This seems like the sort of shit that's supposed to be socially networked.

The thing is, Derek’s really, really hot. Like, insane levels of attraction. What with the leather and the cheekbones and the stubble and the ass — oh god, that ass — Stiles can’t really be blamed, at all for freaking bragging. Now if only his college friends actually believed Derek existed.

TG: youre clear for take off captain TG: if you know what i mean TG: clear skies are you ready to soar into that sexy sunsets pinkish embrace TG: sort of an angry red in places

Tony isn't so much introducing Steve to twenty-first century sex as enabling him. Steve already knows what he wants.

Athelstan's Christian devotions arouse the suspicions of Ragnar's neighbours and he is dragged before the Earl and accused of working evil magic. The villagers want to sacrifice him to Odin to ward off ill-luck, but Ragnar and Lagertha step in to save him by proposing that he is sacrificed instead to Freyr, the god of fertility and sexual pleasure. By fucking Athelstan until he screams and begs, Ragnar argues, he will prove that the Christian God has no power in their lands. Athelstan is surprisingly ok with this.

Stiles has a preference for written porn. He also has a thing for Derek's voice. So when Derek finds his erotica collection, this is clearly either the best or the worst thing that's ever happened to him.

Asuka I wrote you a thing. It’s a slight AU playing with the idea of the kids having minor holdovers of their game powers. Not enough to affect day-to-day life, but just enough. All ficlets take place before they’re pilots. For some of the iffier powers I made guesses about how they would translate, most notably Dirk’s. He is the ghost in the machine. 8|

CG: … CG: WELL? TT: This is certainly something. CG: OH GOD. DON’T SUGARCOAT IT, ROSE, IT WON’T MAKE IT TASTE ANY BETTER GOING DOWN. TT: As my dear ectoslime brother would say: calm your tits, Karkat. TT: It’s very interesting in a way I’m having trouble putting into words.

Sometimes a bubble bath and a glass of wine are exactly the wrong way to wind down.

Stiles and Derek have phone-sex while Stiles is away at college.

Gee and Neal's first meeting.

This was going to mess with his game

rom the 2011 kink meme. The prompt was: In Fast and Furious when Braga asks Dom and Brian if they know each other, what if instead of saying 'He used to date my sister' Dom decided not to make Brian's undercover assignment easy for him and mess with his head a little by saying 'We used to date' instead.

The first rule of Troll Fight Club is : you don't talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Troll Fight Club is : you don't. Talk. About Fight Club. And you sure as hell don't let humans join.

You squirm your way between her thighs and suddenly her hand is braced against you, right below your belly button, like she's holding you at bay. "Dave," she says, and she's alarmingly likely to be serious when she uses your name, "let's do it the other way this time."

"No, but answer me this, do you want to invalidate this whole farce of a legal and religious joining of blah-di-fucking-blah? Because I have looked at your laws and if we don't consummate the union it's not valid!" -- Anonymous asked: Davekat. Arranged marriage! The first time they are alone together is on their wedding night.

TG : what do you think of my new outfit nitram TG : arent i a pretty fucking princess

“You have tits? When did that happen??” He facepalms; “Last molt,” he grumbles from behind his palms. “When you disappeared for a while? That’s what that was?” “Yes Dave, when trolls reach that special molting phase, they grow rumblespheres. Mammals.” He spits the last word as a curse and you’re pretty sure you’re offended.

You had thought he’d been so adamant about you coming over after school today to ask you out. And instead he gives you a fucking dick in a box and you tell him to take off his pants. Fucking great. Wow you suck.

Tim and Kon get popped into Earth-16. Their visit is brief, but, has quite the impact.

For Wally's 21st birthday, they play spin the bottle.

It was kind of ironic that it had taken someone else loving Brian to turn 'not enough' into her 'happily ever after'.

The cop smirks at him, smug and self-satisfied, from mere inches away. "Told you I'd see you soon, Toretto."

Toretto eyed Hobbs up and down, a speculative light in his dark eyes. "Just how flexible are you?"

The day the bus break hit the news, Eliot Spencer was in the middle of a job, taking down a dirty businessman up north of Boston.

Megan is given a great deal of advice on how to deal with Wally. All it does is remind her of the fact that nobody on Earth speaks like she does, and that her body is not her own.

(Prompt: So I just have to twist Robin's cute little laugh into something darker. He laughs like that because he's been overexposed in the past to the Joker's toxin. It's usually no big deal, because most of the time he's got his anti-toxin inhaler. But while on a mission he forgets it and has a fit.) "Robin knows Batman kind of hates it when he laughs."

Written for a YJ_anon_meme prompt which asked for LGBT characters struggling with coming out. Dick and Alfred have a talk, and there are cookies.

"Honey, if you looked at johns the way you look at that car, you'd have the boys lined up down the block."

It was like seeing an unexpected hairpin and taking it, no thinking it through, just pure reflex.

You know you’re staring as he straps into the interface

Kink meme prompt: One day at a relay or at practice, something goes wrong and Rin gets injured or falls unconscious in the pool. Haru is the first one to dive in after him, even before his own teammates.

It's the first time Gou has seen Samezuka's captain in a swimsuit. It's the first time Seijuurou's seen her in a swimsuit. It's clear both of them are ill-equipped to handle this situation. Shameless fluff, blushing, and muscle-appreciation. Written for a kink meme prompt: "So Seijuurou is the captain of the Samezuka team. Gou is the manager of the Iwatobi one. Both teams compete together. Cue the two of them seeing each other at a meet, both only wearing swimwear, and nearly going into cardiac arrest over each other."

Kink meme prompt: Rin has a nightly visitor in his dorm room. They don't notice that Nitori is very much awake on the top bunk of the bed and listening to everything that's going on below him. 'Perhaps he should set up a throwaway email address and anonymously send Rin a link to the Amazon page for the Kama Sutra. Or Sex For Dummies. Or maybe one of those children’s toys with the colorful shaped pegs that fit into matching holes.' Basically, Rin is pretty much the worst roommate ever.

SXIZ IS TALKING TO ME ABOUT WHAT IF DIRK/JAKE D/S WHERE JAKE TIES DIRK UP AND JUST TELLS HIM HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM BECAUSE IT MAKES DIRK FLUSTERED AND THAT’S HOW HE DOMS HIM HE MAKES DIRK FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FEELINGS I’M GOING TO FUCKING PASS OUT

Wally walks in on Artemis taking care of a little business, and the dinner date gets put on hold.

From the 2011 kink meme. The prompt was: Han/Gisele, pegging It's Han's first time and he loves it.

From the Avengers Kink Meme: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/11065.html?thread=24876857#t24876857 "So Clint is Phil's sub. And he's stubborn and insolent and gets in trouble fairly often. He's always implying that he and Phil are really hardcore, and after a rough patch where he gets punished a lot, his friends start to worry for his safety. In fact, Clint is the gooiest, subbiest sub that ever subbed with Phil, who is incredibly gentle with him and heavy on the pampering and praise. Clint basically lives to be petted and told what a good boy he is, and his punishments are things like timeouts and very light spankings with Phil calmly telling him how disappointed he is in him, which is enough to bring Clint to sobbing contrition. So I guess there's some voyeurism or something, I just want this dynamic and the world at large seeing a radically different one. All the bonus points for some compare/contrast with Pepper and Natasha who are outwardly nearly vanilla when in fact they do crazy edgeplay and heavy pain and just don't tell anyone about it."

Every villain has a favorite. It's practically a rule.

Aqualad has no idea what he's in for.

Brian thought he was the only one of his kind around here, until he got a closer look at Dom.

Stiles doesn't think it's a problem. After all, what are the odds that it'll come after him? It's not like he's the only virgin left in Beacon Hills! And it's not like people are lining up to help him out, either...

duosthefangirl asked: College AU where Karkat and Equius are dating and Karkat ends up accidentally admitting that he loves Equius' hair to the point of it nearly being a kink. mixed with Anonymous asked: Equikat, everyone’s a dom or sub AU.

Anonymous asked: John/Jade/Karkat - John and Jade are demon summoners (for reasons) trying to call up an incubus/succubus (for reasons). They get Karkat.

Anonymous asked: JohnKat urban fantasy ((that was so vaaaague aaaaaaaa urban fantasy had so many possibilities D: i went with one of the silliest because i could, bwahaha.))

Anonymous asked: Pern dragons! Dave/Jade/Karkat! Yeah!

Anonymous asked: Dave/Terezi/Karkat, Temeraire-verse, bonus level: Karkat is the dragon, it is him. Merged with this one! Dave/Karkat/Terezi, they are all shipwrecked on an island together.

"Hierarchical triple systems comprise a close binary and a more distant component." - www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov --- Darcy’s been cagey in regards to the whole 'bi' topic, because it’s complicated. Or, okay, people think it’s complicated, but it really isn't and she doesn't want to handle the barrage of inevitable questions. Especially not from Jane, who asks questions like it’s her job (which it kinda is) and might cotton on to the fact that Darcy thinks she’s hot. Like, 'Jodie Foster in Contact' hot, except without the interstellar daddy issues. (Later, Darcy will remember this thought and laugh and laugh. And maybe also want to cry.)

Appreciate him without sounding patronizing. Somehow. Refrain from smacking him. Make him laugh. Don't do this at someone else's expense. Maybe at your own. Be seen with him. Show him you're willing to be seen in public associating with him. Initiate conversation - show you want to talk to him. Do not allow him to think you just want something from him. Even if you do. Feed him. Not junk food. Show you can provide for him? Isaac had added (un)helpful additions, such as 'Don't leave dead animals on his porch!' in response to number five, underlining 'Don't do this at someone else's expense' twice, and 'Why are you writing a list to yourself in second person? The fact you want Stiles is your worst kept secret'.