"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said. "Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

For svmadelyn's badfic-summary challenge, summary from hyperfocused: Rodney MmmKay's mother always told him smart boys never get the hot guys. Can he pretend to be dumb so hunky pilot John Shep Hard will ask him to the Atlantis: Under the Sea prom? W/ my OC Princess Ancienta. Warnings: ANGST M/M plz rd/rvw Oh, yeah.

"Let's go with Banach-Tarski as your safeword," McKay says almost absently, lips tracing lazily along John's hairline, and John blinks. // "You want to go with a Euclidean geometric paradox for my safeword?" he asks, bemused.

"I hope you picked someone really intelligent, otherwise it seems like it would be kind of a waste. Of incubation time, if nothing else."

A disgruntled lieutenant approaches Jack about DADT, Sheppard and McKay.

"Well, there was this auction see?"

The whole thing started when Yertel asked McKay, “If you have had trouble bearing fruit, there are many men in this camp who will be happy to help,” and Rodney said, “What? Oh, no, our fruit supplies are fine—actually, I’m allergic to citrus anyway so I’m bigger on you know, cake,” which turned out to be some sort of near-tacit admission of infertility on P6X-990.

Rodney steps up. (Warning, I should probably be shot for this.)

Rule # 1: For every scientist, there is a grunt who loves them.

John had gotten kind of blasé about offworld travel.

"Men in skirts, fantastic whisky, lots of rain." - Four men. One table. TMI, lessons in stereotypes and ... food.

The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.

Backfire: Teyla knows exactly what this is about. Break: But at times like this, it's the only thing that he seems to want.

River sees it all.

The hammock was something he'd done more or less on a whim, liking the idea of it more than really expecting to use it. It's not like Rodney is much of an escape-for-a-nap in the middle of the day kind of guy, let alone a sleep-outside-with-the-bugs-and-risk-the-likelihood-of-slowly-developing-skin-cancer kind of guy.

Rodney had been trained for his position from near infancy. He had excelled in his studies and been selected for the apprenticeship over candidates twice his age. Now, years later, Rodney held the second most powerful position in the village. There was no one else who could do what he did. That didn’t make it any less meaningless.

"Magic is a touchstone in John Sheppard's life."

"there should be a crossover where Faith from Buffy joined the Marines and got stationed on Atlantis and is Laura Cadman's BFF, and they just kick the shit out of everybody. \o/"

"Sweets has a new gig."

"This is how you talk to women?" says Hardison from the peanut gallery. "Really?"

"In which the Wraith struggle with their diet, Sheppard and McKay struggle to play teacher, and everyone struggles with chocolate cake and other related evils."

For the prompt 'AU: aliens'. Major Teyla Emmagen leaves for the Pegasus galaxy.

"Hardcore BDSM, that's easy. Hickeys, though. Hickeys are hard."

SGA meets Bravo's Project Runway. There are mentions of pinking shears.

"And then the door chimed, and Woolsey came in looking mournful and anxious, and everything got derailed.Death and life, hope and hopelessness, aren't just for the Pegasus galaxy. Eventually, inevitably, it's going to happen on Earth. John and Rodney, loss and family and what it means to be home."

In his rational mind, Rodney knew that following a girl who'd dumped you was really, really pathetic.

"They all think I’m your boyfriend anyway," John said. "Yes, so? You are my boyfriend," Rodney said. "Why is this a problem?" "They thought I was before I even was!" John yelled.

"You could introduce yourself. It's been a week. I've had dates put out faster than this."

A story about not!Russians, the Atlantis Hockey League, accidental offworld marriages (of course) and the intergalactic sex appeal of the mullet.

Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse.

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"

In which Tony Stark is training John Sheppard for another mouthy scientist, far in his future.

Talking about Farscape can be dangerous.

Stiles is wandering the corridors of Stargate Command in search of caffeine and calories when he meets Major Ford.

Snippets from lives that Willow's activation spell (could have) irrevocably changed. Drabble collection.

Just your every day modern street gang of ragamuffins.

It was just Rodney's luck that the guy with the strongest expression of the ATA gene on Earth was some lanky alpha who couldn't follow an order as basic as "don't touch anything."

"His life's a fucking space opera. And not even the erotic type that airs on New HBO. No, it's the animated comic type where the captain goes splat against the wall every episode and the pointy-eared bastard quirks his pointy eyebrow and steps on the captain's flattened remains."

Extra stories for the Retrograde series.

The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.