Opening the Roads - He was a chuunin academy teacher, not a courtier trained in statecraft and diplomacy. Three Good Reasons - Dee and Ryo have serious discussions about serious things. Kind of.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

Tobirama comes to on a field heavy with the scent of blood, to a rout of shinobi in unfamiliar uniforms but sporting familiar hitai-ate. There's a whisper in his head, paradise denied, but death is in front of him and he can't waste time on regrets.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: omg Utakata and Haku making delicate icebubble art pieces in the winter and Zabuza scoffs at them but he still sits and watches them put the pieces together and even volunteers kubikiribocho sometimes because that hole at the end is a pretty good bubble ring.

Inuzuri, 78th District of the Rukongai, is dry, featureless, and hot, filled with thieves and murderers. It's probably just about the closest someone can get to Purgatory while still keeping to Soul Society. Fitting, Obito thinks wryly, that this is where he woke up.

The separate steps along divergent paths don’t change the fact that the destination remains the same.

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, oh my. (Or, Tobirama has a date. He will probably live to regret it.) Prequel to It’s Witchcraft.

For this ask on my Tumblr: IM IMAGINING THE WRITING THING AS MADATOBI NOW?? IMAGINE!! secret letters between enemy clans. tiny stick figure drawings of hashirama doing something stupid. instructions for a new jutsu. the possibilities are ENDLESS (Aka that soulmate AU where if you write something on your skin it also shows on the other’s.)

In which Tobirama is sort of Obi-Wan, Madara is Anakin but not quite, and Obito and Kakashi don’t quite fit the roles of Asajj Ventress and Luke Skywalker but try their best regardless.

Crown Prince Obito elopes with the blacksmith’s son. Madara hardly expects his day to get worse from there, but he forgot to factor in his ridiculous brother, his nephew’s cunning, and the return of a distractingly attractive sea god he’d really rather remain in his past. There's only one direction for things to go from there, and it’s definitely not up.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: TOS!Sannin. Tsunade McCoy the grumpy, compassionate alcoholic with a heart of gold, Jiraiya Kirk the cocky and intelligent leader and womaniser, and finally, S'chan T'gai Orochimaru, the 'non-emotional' genius scientist with a not-so-hidden soft, gooey emotional centre.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: Have you read the version of the Persephone myth where Persephone wasn't abducted but wandered into the underworld under her free will and then refused to leave (to Hades's utter bemusement)? I read it recently and the only things in my head since is fed-up Persephone!Oro meeting bemused Hades!Sakumo after fighting from Zeus!Jiraya :P

From a prompt on my Tumblr: I kinda ship IzuTobi? NOT because it’s the default side pairing to HashiMada, but because your stars-in-his–eyes-attracted-to-pretty-but-lethal-people!Izuna is the funniest thing ever, and I want to see Tobirama as the target of that mooning. Imagine: “Uchiha, I almost killed you.” “I know, you’re the best!

The Kyuubi narrowly avoids being ensnared (again) by the Sharingan with the help of some fox brats.

Artwork on Naruto fanfic Reverse by Blackkat, based on interesting character interactions and descriptions.

For a prompt from the lovely Holly: The Free! anime featuring Tobirama as a swimmer, with a water addiction like Haruka - and the same penchant for undressing at the first sight of water. Cue Madara blushing and flailing, while Tobirama gives zero shits.

From the Legendary Sannin, to Jiraiya's genin team with Namikaze Minato, to Minato's genin team of Rin, Obito, and Kakashi... Team Seven can't manage to hand in normal paperwork. The genin are either completely oblivious or having fun with this, the jounin-sensei are one step away from ripping all their hair out, and the formidable order of desk-shinobi is not pleased with this. And then there's Team Kakashi.

In a world where soulmates find each other by touch, Kakashi doesn't like to be touched and Minato behaves accordingly.

Love is a weapon brought to bear. Love is blood spilled without remorse, and a kiss that’s so sweet they can ignore the taste of copper underneath.

Patience, Sakura decides, is for people who aren't holding lives in the space between their mind and their fingers.

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Minato survives the sealing?

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Team 7 gets a different sensei?

His sister had helped him dye his hair before he started the academy, early enough that the scent wouldn’t register with any Inuzuka students. His mother had gone to the store and let him pick out what shade of nondescript brown he wanted. He’d chosen a brown almost identical to the great Fire Beeches that towered over their home, he’d love how tall and sturdy they were. How dependable those trees were.

When Gokudera died, taking a bullet for Tsuna, he expected to go to hell. Not wake up as a pink haired girly-boy in a world full of ninja. How's he meant to be the Jyuudaime's right hand in a world that doesn't even have a mafia? Clearly, he'll have to clean this place up before Tsuna gets here. REINCARNATION, Gokudera-as-m!Sakura.

Sasuke Uchiha is cheerful, forever smiling, and deadly with a sword in hand. Team 7 is cohesive, capable, and formidable apart but unbeatable when together. This world is better for all of it. [OR: Takeshi and Sasuke are one and the same. Mafioso and shinobi aren't so different, after all.]

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

Orochimaru and his sons crash-land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what’s coming.

It’s Tōka who finds him, even though he doesn’t want to be found.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Genma’s last memory of Uchiha Obito is from childhood so many years ago, a boy with a bright smile, always willing to help no matter the consequences, with an ego just a size too large and dreams he hadn’t yet grown into. It is, he thinks, a stark contrast to now.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

This is all massively troublesome, damn it, and Shikamaru only has himself to blame.

An AU oneshot based off of my fic "An Invincible Summer" The Massacre was prevented, and some things stay the same, but a lot of things are different. Mostly that Natsu ends up with a different Uchiha.

“Oh?” Orochimaru asks sweetly, trying to judge the room they're in. Some sort of military headquarters, predictably. “They let me keep my doctorates? How kind. But I assume this wasn’t a test of how many low-level guards I could put in the morgue—” “Three,” the younger soldier standing at Danzō’s shoulder cuts in, righteous anger darkening his features. “Three in the morgue, six in the hospital.” “Oh my, you caught me on an off day.” Orochimaru gives the young man his best flirtatious smirk. “Come back tomorrow and I promise, I’ll at least double both counts.” (Or, that Suicide Squad!AU no one asked for and no one wanted, but I wrote anyway. I'm not sorry.)

It’s Jiraiya who brings him the news, bare hours after the decision has been reached.

“He’s pretty, isn’t he?” Mito asks thoughtfully.

“It was science,” Tobirama huffs, turning his glare on Madara. “You left your DNA all over me, Uchiha. I was hardly about to pass up the opportunity.” Obito debates clamping his hands over his ears and humming loudly. He did not need to know that in any shape or form, oh god.

It’s not his proudest moment, but Sakumo takes one look at the newest occupant of the gym and walks into a wall.

“What do you mean, you’re related to the Nidaime?!” Izumo demands, hands flapping faintly like he can’t decide whether to strangle Kotetsu or flail.

“No,” Obito says, flat and cold. It’s testament to how much she’s hardened over the last year that Hinata doesn’t even blink. She certainly doesn’t waver, feet planted firmly on the other side of the bed and eyes fixed on him. “Do you really think I would come to you if there was any other option?” she asks quietly.

Originally, Gaara thought the plan - brought to him by a desperate and shaken Naruto on the last holding place of the world's few remaining shinobi - was both insane and impossible. No one ever accused Gaara of being sane, nor sensible, so he agreed anyway. He hadn't really expected it to work.

“Kid, this is Kurosaki Ichigo,” Kūkaku says, and there's something crafty in her expression that makes her look far too much like Urahara for comfort. “Ichigo, this is Uchiha Obito, resident ninja.” “Ninja?” Ichigo repeats, dropping the attempt at politeness in favor of incredulity. “You mean like a ninja ninja?”

Tsuna and his guardians died in a blaze of glory. Then they woke up, slowly, one at a time, in a different world that was the same in all the ways that really mattered. Or the one where Tsuna and his guardians are reincarnated into the class below the Konoha rookie nine.

In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just... The middle child.

There's a man hiding in the eaves of his porch. Sakumo blinks, tips his head, but the image doesn’t change. A shinobi in a Konoha uniform has somehow managed to stuff himself into the corner of the roof, entirely out of sight from practically everywhere except the spot Sakumo is currently standing. "Can I help you?" he asks bemusedly.

"Oh, fuck me," is the first thing Izuna says upon opening his eyes.

“Twenty years,” Orochimaru says, cupping Sakumo's cheek, even though there's nothing soft in his expression. “Twenty years of looking for a way to bring you back, not just find you again. And all it took was a little boy with a handful of inspiring words.”

If this airship lasts through one more round of Fire Country, it will be a miracle, Orochimaru thinks.

Kiba's probably the only emotionally well-adjusted member of the Konoha 12, and he's been aware of that for a while. He never thought that would qualify him for time travel, though.

The irresistible troll vs. the immovable hothead - fight!