Derek and Stiles go hunting. Kind of.

Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much. It’s just not -- he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this. Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek -- fuck, he likes it too.

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

Kaner apparently starred in a porno at some point in his life. Jonny becomes very, very invested in watching it. Repeatedly.

Claude gets a new car. Cameron doesn't like it.

None of them have discussed the fact that Duncs is dating knock-off Seabses, because what can they really do about it?

Generally speaking, Kaner is the kind of girl you hear before you see coming. In some cases, literally. --- AKA the one where Jonny accidentally watches Kaner and Segs fucking over skype.

"Watching Stiles heal someone has always been a little uncomfortable for Derek, like he's seeing something intimate and private that shouldn't have an audience. That's nothing compared to how it feels." This is an AU in which Stiles has magical healing powers.

OMG THERE NEEDS TO BE FIC WHERE THE SHERIFF RELATES DATING TO FISHING. AND STILES WANTS TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.

"He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."

"So," says Stiles, lips barely able to move against Derek's shoulder. "This is a thing, huh? I don't think we can deny that it's a thing. A conspiracy. All supernatural beings want us to be trapped in enclosed spaces."

Even though he’s making fun of it, Stiles thinks the whole thing sounds awesome and, like most stuff these days, the experience is going to be totally wasted on Scott.

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

All hail Stiles, the Fixer of Wolves.

Written for a prompt on the kinkmeme. TFLN: My dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for Sunday brunch next week. You in?

kalpurna: is it weird that I want an original character to call Stiles a cock tease and Stiles is like WHAT and Derek is like what. drunktuesdays: lol that's so specific! why? kalpurna: BECAUSE YOU MADE A TUMBLR POST THAT USED THAT PHRASE AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TEEN WOLF + PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO GET ON STILES'S DICK AND DEREK SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT???? MAYBE I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT STILES TEASING COCKS???????????????? For Kalpurna, from whom I stole all the best lines.

Three times Derek caught Stiles jerking off in the Jeep on the Preserve.

After the rave, Stiles can't go home, and Derek doesn't want him to.

The pack asks Stiles to find a way to get Derek to chill out. This is the best he can come up with.

In which Scott notices Derek and Stiles, gets very confused, and tries to be a good friend.

A series of days in a new life. Captain Steven Rogers gets a little help adapting to the 21st century from Darcy and Wolverine, and Tony wonders when exactly he turned into the mature person in the room.

Sherlock stared at the imperfect circle on his left wrist in horror, then sat down on his bed with a bit of a thump. After over thirty years, his heartmark was finally showing activity. This was not good.

Derek is in the cell for about ten minutes before the lone door opens and a new body is tossed in. The person hits the floor with a grunt, rolls, and stands as the door is clanging shut. “That’s really not the way to treat a guest!”

Derek's expecting the new guy. He's expecting another mostly-useless college kid who doesn't know one end of a horse from the other, and Derek doesn't have the time to babysit. What he's not expecting is Stiles Stilinski, who carries on conversations with the livestock and gets maybe a little too chummy with Isaac and is really kind of stupidly perfect in every way. And it's just distracting, that's all.

Derek finally works up the courage to ask for something, and Stiles is more than willing to help. (Or the one where Derek and Stiles have been together for years and have a relationship based on mutual love, trust, and respect.)

Harry Potter -- Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen One, and . . . well . . . werewolf -- has returned to Hogwarts (at Hermione’s insistence) to finish his education. On top of classes and homework, he’s living in a tent (again) and helping to run the weekly HOWL -- Hogwarts Organisation for the Welfare of Lycanthropes -- meetings. What’s more, there’s something odd about Malfoy . . .

This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

The trollmance novel turns from soap opera to smut in 30 seconds.

She passes it down, from mother to child, from father to child, until it ends up in his hands. The story and the cloak just as they where the day they were made.

You feel the shift in the air behind you as someone else approaches, but you don't get up. You'll waste anyone who tries to fuck with you right now. "Hot damn," says a voice almost but not quite like Terezi's. "Double trouble, huh?" Your dancestor snickers, and you look up as dancestor Pyrope swaggers around into view.

"The biceps peeking out of the sleeves, stretching the material thin and tight, are a lot more impressive than Geno remembers. He would have remembered if Sid had arms like that."

Eric’s always been pretty discreet about hooking up with people, Cam can’t remember ever actually seeing him leave with anyone on these team outings. Most of the time he seems perfectly content to hang out with the team, hang out with Cam, even though he could hook up with just about anyone easily enough. Very easily, Cam thinks, a little grimly, as Eric ducks his head a little and the lights catch in his hair.

Five+one people who assumed Cam and Eric were dating.

Eric Staal's a werewolf. Also he's into Cam.

Taylor Hall doesn't think a destroyed slice of chocolate cake, a broken bed and his line-mates wearing his clothes necessarily means anything. The rest of the team don't agree.

Frank accidentally says Gerard's name during sex - with Jamia.

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

She thought they were all working to escape this hellish game. He makes her wonder if she's been thinking wrong.

"Fine. Assuming that no court on earth discovers that you are an interdimensional spy in deep disguise," Rose corrects herself, flopping down on the bed to lie next to you, "we are now legally married. In the State of Nevada. You are now my beautiful wife." You think about this for some time. After a while, you say, "We have to tell everybody."

Riku didn't actually create this monster; Zack was just born like that.

"Request is for trolls having 'opposite parts'. I know it doesn't really make sense with all the references to bone bulges, but let's pretend that troll men have vaginas and troll ladies have cocks. I want to see a troll and and one of the kids hook up and have lots of "oh god wtf you're backwards" confusion and alarm. I don't really care which pairing it is, but there's a lot of them it could be hilarious/cute with (John/Karkat, Rose/Kanaya, Dave/Terezi, Jade/Tavros, etc.) If it ends up being a troll girl with a human guy, bonus points for pegging!"

Fighters and Sacrifices.

It's not a glamorous job, but you can set your own hours, the pay rate is good now that you know what you're doing, and it leaves you with enough free time to enjoy your hobbies. You like to think you're doing pretty well for yourself.

Mako still gives you tentacles. And how.

They've been looking for a cure.

People come to Waypoint for a reason.

You never told a single motherfucker walking this planet what went down here. Wasn't the business of nobody but you, him and God. She wasn't your mother or your girlfriend or even your motherfucking friend. Maybe if you told her, though, maybe she'd leave. You know you'd walk away from it if you could.

He's not the Sephiroth Zack knew...and Zack is totally on-board with that.