AU crossover. Tony Stark has known Charles Xavier since Tony was eight and Xavier was his Uncle Charles. Now that Tony’s all grown up, Charles vets his dates. Well, most of them. Except for the ones where Charles brings someone who should really be in jail, not a fancy restaurant.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Steve Rogers is a good man and when he feels he owes an apology, not even exhaustion and double-vision is going to stop him from giving it.

He's been called a lot of names, but the one that stuck was Hawk.

Or, The Avengers Tower Stitch & Bitch Club

Bruce kept a little tally, in his head, of people he thought should meet the Hulk. Those who had made Tony afraid were numbered among them. No archive warnings, but heed tags, yes?

They were reunited a few days later in a hallway in SHIELD headquarters, outside an otherwise nondescript door that said Philip J. Coulson.

"If I were Christian fucking Bale, or Jesus Christ help me, Clooney in the nipple suit, gearing up to play Bruce fictional fucking Wayne, he'd send me a fucking fictional helicopter."

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

They debriefed at Stark Towers. That should have been his first clue.

Behind the long line of locks, Bruce waits for a chance to escape. Collared, imprisoned, property of the army. Until Lord Mage Anthony Stark ... decides he's not having that. Fantasy AU.

Bonding over sleepless nights, incoherency, and pizza. Because sometimes, you need a friend. "Sure you won't come up for a drink? You know, as long as you're in the neighborhood." "I bet you say that to all the defrosted soldiers on your doorstep at three in the morning."

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

For an LJ avengerkink prompt: Steve is very confused/weirded out by the distinct lack of pubic hair on modern women (or at least the women Tony has forcibly exposed him to). Sure he's a virgin, but he's seen naughty pictures/European burlesque shows. Therefore he's more than a little apprehensive when Natasha finally gets her panties off. Luckily she's a firm believer in giving her partners something to hold on to. Steve goes wild. +1 - it happens during group sexytimes and all the others stop what they're doing to watch Steve eat her out

[[... porn.]] Or, the one where Steve wants to talk to Tony about something important.

It's Go Time!

Steve goes on a road trip to clear his head, but the other Avengers won't leave him alone.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

Steve had an ass like...it could make Tony write sonnets if he did that sort of thing, he was sure. Really bad ones, with phrases like "unyielding spheres of rapture," so it was a good thing he's no poet.

Clint and Coulson become sparring partners when it's clear Clint needs a new challenge. Clint is not prepared for the results.

Tony’s not going to deny that he’s ridiculously excited. Steve. In his bed. Naked. Everything is rainbows and nothing hurts.

The news report seems more interested in the argument between the team during the fight than the way they eventually won. And then it gets worse.

Tony gets that the others think this is an ego thing - the way he can’t resist pushing Steve’s buttons. Honest-to-God, the guy just bugs him. Mostly because Steve is distractingly perfect, but a little bit because of the family history.

There it is, the word he's been trying harder than anything not to even think, and now that it's out there's no hiding from it. (aka the Angry Goat Noise remix; no spoilers for movie)

Darcy is maybe a little disappointed he didn't go for a dress. [Written for Porn Battle]

Few people ever see inside Tony Stark; fewer can stomach what they find; next to no one claims to still like him afterwards. So Tony hides, closing all the doors and battening down the hatches, using charm and confidence as armor when he's not in the suit. To Tony's horror, Steve somehow manages to see inside him anyway.

Tony is the only one who can defend Steve's virtue. Tony hates his life.

In which Steve is introduced to the grand old tradition of Movie Night.

[SPOILERS] The shadows of night managed to hide a lot of the destruction, but the scars were still there. Steve knew those scars would be there for a long time to come. They weren’t the only scars that would take time to heal. Everyone grieves differently. What is surprisingly similar, however, are the curses when the Avengers find out the one they’re grieving for isn’t actually dead.

Debriefing is an important way for an organization's members to learn new skills as individuals, as a team, and as managers. Tony almost dropped his heavily-modded iPad, but managed to catch it against the front of his legs. "What's this? A pants-off dance-off?"

The blur has resolved itself into a man, mostly covered in red and blue, who turns his masked head and snarks cheerfully at Tony.

Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care.

One of Ian's best friends in high school was Darcy Lewis. Lucky for him, he keeps in contact with all his friends, and Darcy doesn't keep secrets well.

In which Clint takes a leap of faith in more ways than one.

Written for Cthonical, who was having a bit of a day yesterday. She asked for Guns and adrenaline-fueled post-danger fucking, possibly with a little blood and not waiting to get to a room.

“Welcome, newbies, to the only class SHIELD has to offer on surviving this shit. I'll be your teacher today, hi, Tony Stark, Iron Man, CEO of awesome."

In which Bruce is a badass, the team is surprised, and Tony approves.

By Phil’s count, this is his third attempt at bringing the Avengers together, although he will admit his participation in the second attempt was more symbolic than anything else. He hadn’t expected Stark to be the easiest sell, or Barton to be the most problematic, but things have changed since he’s been away. [Movie spoilers.]

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

The plane crash and subsequent ice might have killed him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still around, haunting those he cares about. And since the only person who can see him is Tony Stark, death sure isn’t going to be boring.

“We had sex,” Clint says, bluntly. “Collectively.” [Written for Porn Battle; Warnings apply]

Loki unleashes sex pollen on the Avengers. Tony and Steve get caught up in the storm. Shameless PWP.

"Were you worried?" Tony says. "That's sweet. That is always so adorable when the big guy worries about me."

It isn't that Tony doesn't like Bruce. He just happens to also have a few fantasies about the other guy.

Steve Rogers is the new hire at the Stan Lee Marvel University’s History department.

sleep, smash, sparring, science, sex.

For someone he'd hero-worshipped for so long, Steve Rogers in the flesh is a pretty big disappointment. For one thing, he keeps looking at Tony as though he reminds him of someone else, and even if he never says anything, Tony's pretty sure it's his father. A lifetime of not measuring up to Howard's expectations is more than enough, thank you very much, and he's certainly not going to make an effort to live up to any of Steve's. Steve's pretty clearly failed to live up to his expectations, in any case, and that's not hypocritical at all.

Steve Rogers is no stranger to the silver screen.

“That you’re in love with each other. God, it’s like—it’s kind of ridiculous.” When he says this, Bruce snaps his gaze back up, frowning. “You two are so stubborn and blind, but the whole world knows that science boyfriends—I mean, honestly—isn’t just a pet term for you two. Even Jarvis knows, okay. You two are so stupid.”

Tony wants to see Steve break a sweat; it just takes one hell of a workout.