For the kink meme prompt: "Josephine who is secretly a mage, and is just really really good at hiding it."

Everyone knows that there are no free mages under the Qun. The Ben-Hassrath know that there's nothing more useful than a fact that 'everyone knows'.

Cullen is more than happy to make an appearance at the conclave at Seeker Pentaghast's request. How was he supposed to know that a simple favour would change his life forever? AKA The Cullen as Inquisitor AU I have been thinking about for some time.

In which Robert Baratheon weds Catelyn Tully on the eve of rebellion while Cersei Lannister, the rising sun of Casterly Rock, is sent to the far North to marry Ned Stark and become Lady of Winterfell. In consequence, the fates of these two women, the people they love, and the game of thrones are changed forever. But winter is coming, as it always will.

When Dorne became one of the Seven Kingdoms, they agreed to replace the Westeros Law of Inheritance with the Dornish Law, so that the same laws would be followed throughout the realm. Or, Five times there was no male primogeniture in Westeros, and this wasn't as helpful as you might expect.

Bull and Krem don’t even look at each other before they’re moving. Krem pulls his sword and uses the hilt to smash the window swinging into the room. He vaguely hears the Bull swing his ax and fucking destroy a qunari sized chunk of the wall before running in with a roar that could chill blood, but all his attention is focused on the man on the floor. AU where Dorian meets Krem and Bull prior to the start of Inquisition and joins the chargers.

Dorian isn't interested. What a silly idea.

The scarred ninja sighed. "You couldn't have brought them by earlier?" "No," Asuma-sensei said, and he was still smiling, "I wanted them to get the full Umino experience." Ino shot a look to her left: Shikamaru's eyes were open wider than their usual droop. What the hell was the Umino experience, those eyes seemed to say.

We survived, we won, and now six Striders and two trolls have to learn to share two small apartments with two bathrooms between them. Featuring Dave, Bro, Dirk, Dirk's Bro, Dove "I used to be half-bird", and Hal "I used to be glasses". Oh, and Tavros and Terezi, they're here too. Seriously, if we don't answer enough of these things we'll have to get day jobs. We're too cool for day jobs. Prevent this senseless tragedy by asking us shit today.

Naruto isn’t the only one in the village to earn the title “monster”. At the age of six, he meets a collared Orochimaru and makes a most unlikely ally.

Slytherins–- this is a group who laughs when Neville falls off a broom and breaks his wrist. And what if we had Harry there, who had always been the one laughed at, who had a nice thirst to prove himself, who had green trim on his robes instead of red? This Harry still stepped out in front of Malfoy’s best sneer and demanded Neville’s Rememberall back–- though he got a detention from it, not a Seekership. When kids in the Slytherin Common Room tossed jeers at the pudgy feet of Millicent Bulstrode, Harry rose up to do something about it. When Quirrell shouted “troll in the dungeons, thought you ought to know,” and Harry overheard that there was a girl in the bathroom crying, he still ran off to make sure she got out okay. Harry did not ask Millicent to come with him; this was not a boy who asked for things. When he had asked for things, Dudley had laughed, Petunia had scowled, and Vernon had said, “no,” or just kept reading the newspaper like he hadn’t heard anything at all. But when Harry went, Millicent bunched up her robes in her hands and followed.

Iruka saw his first execution barely a year after the Kyuubi. The executioner was a wire thin ninja in combat uniform, one eye covered and his hair almost white in the brutal sun.

Tim Wayne, adopted son of Gotham mogul and secret vigilante Bruce Wayne, shows every sign of being his father's true successor - by day, and by night. Tim sets his sights on a valuable Metropolis lab for merger with Wayne Biotech, and all that stands in his way is the city's own rising star: Conner Luthor.

At the last moment, Mito chooses to bind the Kyuubi to her rather than sealing it within herself. Decades later, Kushina takes up her burden, and finds that maybe it isn’t such a burden after all.

Yu Yu Hakusho: The Dead Girl Remix. With all your favorites, digitally remastered.

Where the loss of ignorance is more valuable than the knowledge gained, and Edward figures out the source of alchemy a lot sooner than before. "Edward has cockroaches under his skin and leeches in his veins. He's vibrating and bursting and his body is too small, too big, doesn't fit quite right. He needs Al to know - needs to tell someone, anyone, but he will cut out his own tongue before he burdens anyone else with this knowledge."

Stiles runs away from his old pack on a Monday. He meets his dad for the first time on a Sunday, and he falls in love on a Thursday.

Fenris has kept busy since the events at Kirkwall. Tracking Tevinter slavers in the South leads him to the Temple of Sacred Ashes the night before the Conclave. From there, everything begins to fall apart. OR: Fenris is the Inquisitor and he has no patience for Venatori bullshit.

She has no care of the Iron Throne--yet, and then only who sits on it, leave her be. She is going to reclaim her home, the place she once despaired of, dreaming of the sun and songs of the south. She was a Stark of Winterfell, there had always been a Stark at Winterfell, tales Old Nan told if the Starks lost Winterfell for good, the winter would win. Her mother scoffed at the tales, Sansa had as well, but whispers are on the cold wind. Winter is Coming. She was going to see the Spring.

This is how Sidney Crosby ends up in Alex Ovechkin's living room, one wolf cub in his lap and another gnawing on his Reeboks.

Tobirama doesn’t give a damn about gender roles and gender-assigned clothing. Madara really, really doesn’t mind. (Or, Tobirama in thigh-highs and heels. Madara's a fan.)

Extra stories for the Retrograde series.

The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.

A collection of ficlet-like rambles and other HP-centric stuff from my tumblr. Ficlet-Ramble #1: Seventh-Year will put Your Name in GOF for a Sickle You’re a first-year who can’t cast Wingardium Leviosa yet? Whatever, sure, just pay up. There’s no way you're going to be chosen against Angelina “Can Probably Crush You With Her Thighs” Johnson, but at least you can tell all your eleven-year-old buddies that you Did A Cool Thing.

Love is a weapon brought to bear. Love is blood spilled without remorse, and a kiss that’s so sweet they can ignore the taste of copper underneath.

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Minato survives the sealing?

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Team 7 gets a different sensei?

Podfic of The fic where Yuri Plisetsky is grossed out by adults by DoomedTemperament Yuri has more or less grown a begrudging respect for the other skater, and he’s not quite as fond of kicking the snot out of him like he was before (“teen angst”, Yuuri’s mother had called it in a weirdly affectionate way.) But there are still things that Yuuri does that piss him off. He’s hardly used to Victor still being in the area, and his crush has still gone unacknowledged. Maybe it’s time for Yuri to “help.” (Fic based off a tumblr prompt.)

The stars in a little slave’s eyes when she falls in love with a glamorous boy are the same as they would be in any other universe.

When Harry was eleven years old, his Hogwarts letter came by owl. He'd been accidentally blowing windows open and lighting cauliflower on fire for years. James took Harry to go get his wand at Ollivanders, and Lily took Dudley to the Owl Emporium where he tried to convince her they should build an aviary in the backyard. They came home with a fat black cat who hissed at everyone. Dudley named him Spooks, and Lily called him Monster. "Did you have to?" said James. "That is the meanest beast I've ever met, and I've known Remus unmedicated on full moons and a pubescent Sirius thwarted in love." Lily, who had ink on her cheek and a ballpoint pen stuck behind her ear, waved vaguely at the living room without looking up from her arrest report. Dudley was asleep in an armchair. The cat sprawled across his lap. Both its front paws were wrapped around Dudley's arm as it cleaned his wrist with aggressive fondness. "Alright," said James. "Yeah, you had to."

Nana heralds from a family of serial killers. She neglects to mention this to her husband, but when Iemitsu makes it clear he doesn’t expect Tsuna to join his family, Nana brings him into hers. This becomes a problem when Iemitsu changes his mind...

The last thing anyone expected was for the older twin to manifest Cloud Flames. (Or the one in which Tsuna is Xanxus' Cloud Guardian, flat-out terrifies anyone who's heard about him, has a younger brother who loves him, is possibly in a queerplatonic long-distance relationship with Hibari but will never admit it, and is the big brother you never knew you wanted in your life.)

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Reborn enters into the Sawadas' household, but doesn't realize that what was Iemitsu's little boy is now his young daughter.

In which Tsuna isn't Tsuna but Tsunako, and lived with her parents in Italy for a few years before circumstances made moving to Namimori seem advisable. And changes spiral out from there. For the prompt Xanxus/Tsuna - genderswap; "don't look down on me because I'm a woman."

101 ways to fix Xanxus. This series contains Alternate Histories all of which experiment with what changes might have led to Xanxus being only a little broken instead of totally insane.

This is a dark Alternate History arc that follows what might happen if Mukuro had decided to make Xanxus his tool of conquest instead of Tsuna.

Izuku’s never run into this problem before with anyone else, but it’s still not much of a problem. “Oh, that’s alright,” he says. “I don’t have a Quirk.” Tsukauchi stares incredulously at him, and then looks at the iron bar that Izuku is currently straightening with his hands. Midoriya Izuku does not let his lack of a Quirk prevent him from being strong. Also known as that one AU where Izuku follows the ridiculous training regimen of Saitama from One Punch Man and becomes stronger than anyone ever imagined he could be.

“Twenty years,” Orochimaru says, cupping Sakumo's cheek, even though there's nothing soft in his expression. “Twenty years of looking for a way to bring you back, not just find you again. And all it took was a little boy with a handful of inspiring words.”

Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it. But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that anyone would believe it if he told them.

Midoriya Inko attracts small objects. Midoriya Hisashi breathes fire. Midoriya Izuku is full of stars.

Jonelle’s a bastard, right? So she’ll be at the back of the tent when Robert asks Sansa what happened with Joffrey and Arya and Nymeria. She’ll hear Sansa’s soft, quiet whisper- I didn’t see- and Arya’s scream, she’ll hear Cersei’s sentence, her father’s answer. And Jonelle’s as righteous and angry as Jon ever is, and so she doesn’t hesitate to turn around and leave, to use Robb’s parting gift to her- a sharp-edged Valyrian steel imitation dagger- to smash open Ghost’s and Lady’s chains and chase them away. [In which Jon Snow is Jonelle Snow, and goes south with her sisters.]

"Hey there, ghosts," Midoriya says, "it's me, ya boy." The dorms are haunted. Shenanigans ensue.

Set around ch.307. Spoilers. Trying to fix a three man team has its own quirks for Sakura, especially when there are four people involved.

Naruto and Kurama meet before Naruto even leaves the orphanage. Naruto grows up with a second person under his skin-- in canon. Now he knows about Kurama, and refuses to keep him locked away.

The rumor spoke of a boy who could speak with the dead, a glimmer of hope for ones like you, ones unable to rest in peace.

Dino picks a different side before the Ring Battles. Xanxus approves.

Lyanna Stark thwarts a kidnapping, and receives an interesting offer.

“You know,” Zabuza gets out on a laugh, “I didn’t think you had it in you.” Kakashi shoves his knee up higher, slams into him so hard it makes Zabuza gasp. “I'm not the one with it in me,” he says mildly.

When Izuku dies, it's with a lot less grace than he always imagined it'd be. But even when he gives up the ghost, there's still things that need to be said--and, luckily, he gets a second chance. (A fic written for PitViperOfDoom's "Yesterday Upon The Stair".)