A podfic of "Greatly Approved" by damalur. "An apostate's guide to popular fiction. (Or: Hawke runs headlong into Cassandra's book club, Varric comes along for the ride.)"

Riza takes such immense joy in ruining Roy's life that he can't even bring himself to begrudge her.

Everyone is born with the ability to only see the colour of their soulmate's eyes. Only upon touching their soulmate, can people see the rest of the world's colours. Edward Elric will do whatever it takes to get his brother's body back and ensure he can have his happily ever after with his soulmate, even if it means never finding his own soulmate.

Shane is pacing around the hotel room. It’s not a huge room and Shane’s legs are long enough that he doesn’t have much real estate to pace before he has to swing back around for another loop. “Can you stop?” Ryan asks. “You’re making me dizzy.” “Okay,” Shane says finally. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re just going to—we’re going to be married. The only way out is through.” “Um,” Ryan says, because this plan strikes him as counterproductive to their shared goal of not being married.

AU where Buzzfeed still won’t give us the Unsolved merch we deserve, but this they at least do provide.

"I'm in love with you," Ryan says, desperate. "No, you're in love with the views."

“So, how long have you and Shane been dating?” Jen asks. If Ryan had already taken a sip of his coffee, he would’ve done a spit take right now. Instead, he just sends her an incredulous look. “Shane and I are what?” Or, Ryan and Shane's life would be so much easier if they just talked to each other.

The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels... But turns out he's also a great fuck.

“What’s the internet say about all this sexual tension?” Kuroo asks, and Kenma’s attention snaps back to the screen. “Nothing I didn’t see earlier. It should lessen over time, but it’s meant to cement the new bond between mated individuals. Through sex, I guess.” (( or: kenma must navigate his new and unwanted werewolf marriage with kuroo, and honestly, it would be a lot easier if they didn't get boners every time they made eye contact ))

After extraction from a mission gone awry, Wufei notices some unusual side effects. After recruiting Heero to find a cure, Wufei just has to wait it out until a solution is found. And remember it's entirely synthetic... For the Gundam Wing End of Summer Tropefest 2017.

Shane had never thought too hard about taunting ghosts and demons. But it only takes one badly placed joke to invite in something that is better off left alone. His and Ryan’s comfortable friendship is going to be tested to its limits when a demon unleashes a storm of uncertainties into both of their lives. One thing’s for certain: Once the storm passes, his and Ryan’s relationship will never be the same again.

' "What," Hinata says, "like you're suddenly going to become a kabedon master?" The idea itself is hilarious. Kageyama has all the timing and subtlety of a tyrannosaurus in a china shop. Hinata sees no reason to be wary. "We'll see," Kageyama says darkly. "We'll see." ' -- When Hinata introduces Kageyama to the concept of kabedon, he isn't expecting to create a monster. But all origin stories have humble (sometimes very humble) beginnings...

Ryan goes on a series of dates with Shane. Friend-dates. For a video, of course. Nothing else. "Oh god, they're definitely in love."

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform. ‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

' "What," Hinata says, "like you're suddenly going to become a kabedon master?" The idea itself is hilarious. Kageyama has all the timing and subtlety of a tyrannosaurus in a china shop. Hinata sees no reason to be wary. "We'll see," Kageyama says darkly. "We'll see." ' -- When Hinata introduces Kageyama to the concept of kabedon, he isn't expecting to create a monster. But all origin stories have humble (sometimes very humble) beginnings...

Shane has the worst timing.

Raphael likes to lowkey compliment Simon, the only problem is that Simon highkey has no freaking clue what he's saying.

Simon tells himself, It’s not gay, it’s not gay, I’m totally not checking him out, he just had that stain on his right trouser leg…. Raphael is, apparently, a rich as fuck vampire, because the suit shop they go in is fancy as hell. They park in the basement, because, uh, sunlight, and even though dusk has fallen it’s better to be safe than sorry (sorry meaning dead). Raphael keeps smirking, which does nothing to help Simon’s inner mantra that consists of I’m straight, I’m straight holy fuck is he licking his lip- I’m straight.. “This,” the vampire announces as they walk into the shop, smiling faintly, looking, almost for the first time since Simon’s met him, as if he’s relaxed, “is the greatest place in the world, Simon Lewis.” He looks at him then, grinning, eyes dark, shining, looking more polished than ever but somehow oddly vulnerable, and Simon’s breath hitches, his insides turning to goo. His mantra becomes Let me not jump him, or, at least, not in public..

"It wasn’t that he was crushing on Pat Gill, not really. Brian was comfortable having a close friendship which involved physical affection, and even jokes regarding it. He was just...he smelled nice, even when he was sweaty. He had really nice and soft hair. The way he gripped his leg and lifted him so easily was nice. The way the crotch of his jeans felt against his—" After the Shadow of the Colossus Gill and Gilbert, Pat and Brian find themselves dealing with the fact that there are consequences to being in on-and-off intimate positions with your coworker for over an hour, and those consequences tend to manifest themselves quite noticeably in your pants.

“There are two people I can think of who might know anything,” Lavellan said. “Experts - on the Fade, on the history of elvhenan. Unfortunately,” a grimace, “one of them has vanished, and if all the resources of the Inquisition can’t find him, I doubt you can.” “And the other?” Fenris demanded. “Something from my own history, for once. Not an Inquisition thing. There is - a criminal,” said Lavellan. “Exiled from the clans. She was the blood mage who murdered Clan Sabrae and its Keeper. Last I heard she was living in Kirkwall. A very dangerous woman - possibly insane, actually - but I met her once at Arlathven, and if anyone could help you -” “Merrill?” _ Hawke was left in the Fade. Fenris goes looking for him. He doesn't go alone.

A fic based lightly on a reddit post— "I (21f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. She cooks for me and knows all my favorite foods, and brings me lunch. She buys me anything I want, and her family all joke about our wedding. I once fell asleep on her lap and when I woke up she was stroking my hair and I almost had a stroke. I can't figure out if she's flirting with me or not. Help!"

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.

“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.” “Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.” Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

Wei Wuxian meets his soulmate when they reach for the same bunch of daffodils at the local bodega. Too bad he immediately puts his foot in his mouth. How can he repair the damage and convince this beautiful man to date him? Let the group text conversation begin! (for the 50 Meetcutes meme - You reach for the same bouquet in a flower shop)

Lan Zhan has been in love with his best friend for nearly a decade and despite his attempts, has never managed to confess. Now that Wei Ying's lease is almost up, there's a chance he'll be moving in with him soon, and Lan Zhan isn't sure that's something he'll survive... The impending stress leads to a drink, which in turn leads to a desperate Reddit post that goes viral and attracts attention and advice from... well, none other than Wei Ying, resulting in a series of failed attempts at getting Wei Ying to realize just how Lan Zhan feels about him.

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian

once more i am thinking abt wei ying introducing himself to lan zhan as a sub(stitute teacher) at a formal gathering, & lan zhan, surprised that this cute guy he kinda recognizes from the community center would just introduce himself as a sub(missive) like that at a public event!

Cloud Recesses, Gusu, age 15 “You don’t think they’re really going to make us wake up at mao hour?” Wei Wuxian whined. “Or sleep by the end of xu hour?” “They’re not going to make us do anything,” Jiang Cheng groaned. “It’s just that activities will be ongoing when they’re awake, so if you miss them all by sleeping until si hour, that’s your problem. It’s not like we made them do anything when they were visiting us at the Lotus Pier…” “What are you talking about?” Nie Huaisang wanted to know. “You all most certainly made poor Lan-xiong stay up past his bedtime when he was visiting the Lotus Pier – and the same for the rest of us, too!” Wei Wuxian, who had led most of the forcing-to-stay-up-late nonsense, coughed. “Yes, well…speaking of Lan Zhan, do you think he’ll be happy to see me?” “No,” both Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang chorused.

That soulbonding fic where Kageyama jabs Hinata with the scratchy skin on his elbow, and they're Tangled for good—sharing thoughts and feelings. They can't stop touching for long without headaches and itchy clammy skin. Only... they're both so brutally focused on volleyball, neither of them notices anything is different. Hinata figures everything is fine since, even if he wakes up feverish, he always feels better at practice—every time. It takes Kenma pointing out how much they touch for Hinata to realize he has a problem. If Kageyama doesn't return his feelings, Hinata could lose his tosses for good.

“Tell me I’m beautiful, Lan er-gege!” “You are well aware you are beautiful,” Lan Wangji says. Wei Wuxian trips over Jiang Wanyin and sends both of them to the ground in a tangle of limbs and bruises.

"Betrothed," Wei Ying says indignantly. Lan Wangji can't stop his gaze from darting up to him. Wei Ying understands. Wei Ying is looking at him, wide-eyed and upset on his behalf. "And you don't even like her," Wei Ying says. "I don't even know her," Lan Wangji says quietly. "But even if you did—" Wei Ying starts. "I wouldn't want this," Lan Wangji finishes.

Following the war, Wen Qing had had something of a revelation. Namely, that the vast majority of problems in her life were due to the fact that she was surrounded by a bunch of idiots. (a getting-together story)

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying go undercover at a fetish party.

Tang Fan writes a new romance novel that reaches new heights of obvious pining, Wang Zhi takes matters into his own hands, a guest comes to stay, and Sui Zhou continues to be a irresponsible combination of jealous and oblivious. (This takes place somewhere nebulously in the middle of the series, but really it could happen at any point, no spoilers)

Lan Zhan is convinced to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. What he doesn't know is that Wei Ying is a former disciple of the Jiang who was kicked out in disgrace. None of this would have happened if he and his brother hadn't been sent to boarding school after their mother's death

It was impossible for anyone to remember every little quirk of this setting. There were too many. Also, Shang Qinghua had come up with some of them on a whim while fueled by nothing but caffeine and noodles. It wasn't his fault for not remembering why oranges were never served on fruit festival day.

His head hurts, and Xanatos would very much like to find whoever chained him up facedown on a filthy stone floor and remove their spleen with a rusty spoon. (Or: Xanatos is not a Jedi, not a pawn, not in the right universe, and most of all he is not amused by any of this.)

[“Okay, but listen,” Zuko says. “I’m listening.” “Did you forget about the capitalist scam happening tomorrow?” He asks. “You know, patron saint of shitty teddy bears and pretending that a few flowers makes up for being emotionally constipated the rest of the year?” Zuko shrugs. “Not like I lied.” “Sounds kind of like you lied.” “He said couple,” Zuko points out, “We are a couple. A couple of people who want a discount.”] Or, Zuko and Sokka work the system.

Eddie yanked at the tentacles stringing him up, his mind and body alight with need, "Venom, please please please do that again, fuck –" I think you might need a little help remembering the terms of our agreement, Venom mused instead.

AU where Airplane notices Peerless Cucumber's tweet, "Airplane, I will pay all your bills forever if you hire a goddamn editor, you hack." and replies, on fucking main, "you fucking prommy?" and lands himself an editor and a sugar-gege all in one go.

Flower is looking out at the balcony, and he’s got a wrinkle of concern between his eyebrows. “Are you on your pills, Sid?” “Bud. I’ve been on the pills since I was twenty years old, of course I am. Also, still really, really single.” “Maybe,” Flower says slowly. “Maybe you should have been upping your doses.” “What—” Sid says, before following Flower’s gaze to the balcony. And his heart stops.

They make a point of it, always, telling Zhenya how beautiful Sidney is.

Geno only lets Alex make him a Grindr profile that summer because Alex is still upset about Maria, because Alex's grin has a kind of manic, brittle quality that makes Geno sigh and hand over his cell phone with only a token protest.

Zhenya’s just leaving the practice rink when he notices him for the first time. The guy’s standing outside the front entrance, staring at the sign and biting his full bottom lip. There’s something familiar about him, but Zhenya can’t place him. He must be mistaken—surely he would have remembered that ass if not the face. The summer before Zhenya starts in the NHL, he meets an adorable tourist who's too irresistible not to take home.

He hopes four sandwiches will be enough to get them both through this. Sid's angst makes Geno really hungry. or: 5 hockey players Sidney Crosby doesn't have a crush on. (+1 oblivious idiot he loves)

"The lawyers have found a pretty good loophole," Pat said. "It's not a loophole, it's a long-standing cultural tradition," Mario said, glancing at Sidney. "It's a fucking loophole," Pat reiterated. "But it's a great one."

“How much is bail set for?” Jamie asks without hesitation and not even a hint of sleep in his voice. Fucker. “I’ll get Jordie to do a transfer. Whatever it is, we’ll get you out.” Tyler thinks it’s commendable that he doesn’t cut the call then and there. Then again, once word gets out that Sidney Crosby is possibly broken, Jamie and Jordie are the last chance he has of actually making it back across the Atlantic alive. Or alternatively, Tyler Seguin Worries That He Broke Sidney Crosby In Prague With Indelible Ink.

"What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’ "We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal."

It was embarrassing, but Tom only realized he was in rut well into the last week of January. It was Thursday, and he was in Starbucks because Mike had mentioned, off-hand, that he was a little bit tired and needed some caffeine. Tom got to the front of the line, made eye contact with the pretty omega boy behind the register, and barely caught his drool with his own hand.

Alex twists the ring around his finger as he watches Nick pace. He consented, everyone did, but in the privacy of their room, he seems much more on edge now about it. “Nicky,” he finally whines, sick of watching. Despite all his pacing, Nicky’s face is blank and Alex has no idea what he’s thinking. Nicky spins to face him. “I don’t want this.”