:Hardison has been to his fair share of what Eliot mockingly calls his Underground Hacker Speed Dating Meetups. And it’s always dudes. So many dudes. And they all look like Colin Mason’s uglier brother, plus there’s always at least one grizzly-ass, paranoid old conspiracy theorist with back in my day stories about the perils of dialup. Hardison’s always the best looking person in the damn place, basically -– and it ain’t even a close call. Until today. Because of course now that he’s happily with Parker, not one but two fine female hackers turn up to check out the merchandise. Note: a one-shot right now, but I may add more funtimes.

“Are you sure I can convince him?” Madara asks dubiously. Hashirama nods. “Only you can convince him,” Hashirama says. Then, solemnly, “Madara, you’re our only hope.”

For my Daemon AU meme; scenes and snippets from Midnight on the Demon Patrol 'verse with added daemons. -Karkat, Dave, and Dave's daemon, feeding Karkat (NSFW) -Rose and Kankri, on daemon meanings and siblinghood. -How was Bowie affected when Latula. blocked Dave's mind in the coffee shop? -Rose, Dave, Karkat, Kankri post chapter 27. -Rose, Terezi and Vriska.

K'rkat burst into Sievereth's weyr, the bronze stretched out lazy and well-fed, oh Faranth's egg no. "Jade!" he screamed, startling the dragon. "Get out! And you, big lump, get up! Up and flying! Why are you still here?!" Jade came out of her corridor, rubbing her eyes. No doubt she'd spent all night bowed over her work table again and hadn't even eaten. "Oh, why are you yelling," she said around a yawn, "it's... not even mid-day yet!" "Yeah, by minutes!" Argh. No. No time. "Jade -- Bowith is bleeding her prey, and so is Kulirath."

"If you're hitting on me, queue's to your left," Dave replies, and then he looks. The man has nice arms. Solid shoulders, strong biceps. Baby face still, baby-blue eyes in the white strobe lights and friendly dimples. Someone got him with funny cat-whiskers paint that's just subtle enough to tickle Dave's funny bone, but with a body like that he's got to be at least twenty. "What, no!" The man blushes so hard Dave can see his face darken even through the flashing lighting and dim of the dance floor. He actually honest-to-God flails his hands, what a dork. "I just -- argh, and you totally know that, don't you?" -- Anonymous asked: Dave/Naruto, hooking up at a house party (papabrostrider is to blame for this one)

The Leverage crew run into a new friend, find some buried treasure, and fight some Nazis. It's a pretty good day.

Somebody from Yu Yu Hakusho sees somebody from Lord of the Rings get off the subway at a secret stop that doesn’t exist. And follows them.

"The Enterprise’s newest security officer reports aboard."

Oh, huh. There are breasts at the other end of that poking stick. Bare ones. "She says, she does not care if you look at the wrong places that don't make words, but if you think you don't have to answer with words she may let me eat you." Right. So. The shadow. That's a dragon's wing.

Three years after the events of The Fast and the Furious (but with spaceships!) Brian's happy with his new family and life. Until he bumps into the last people that he wants to see.

In which Cordelia is rescued by team Leverage instead of team Angel.

"T'ony, apprenticed to the Smithcraft Hall in his youth and now many years a Wingleader at Telgar Weyr, is a very busy man. Not that his pair of fire lizards care... fortunately, he's not without support when it comes to dealing with their (adorably) thieving ways."

"Elizabeth’s reality is far different from her sisters’."

Neal doesn't often talk about his family. / Parker said, "This is my grandpa Hermes." [Two interconnected drabbles involving Hermes, God of Thieves.]

Stiles Stilinski is a spark. [AU after Thor]

"The villain of the week has been watching anime. Clint is trying not to be amused."

"His life's a fucking space opera. And not even the erotic type that airs on New HBO. No, it's the animated comic type where the captain goes splat against the wall every episode and the pointy-eared bastard quirks his pointy eyebrow and steps on the captain's flattened remains."

Detective Bull Hissrad of the Val Royeux Police Department finally gets a break in the spate of bizarre deaths across the city: everybody who’s ended up six feet under bought a pet from the absurdly-named Magister D’s Pet Shop in Vintown, and the vint who runs the place is just strange enough to be worth checking out. (Or, that time Bull was kind of a lonely, grumpy cop trying to figure out if Dorian was an ancient dragon hell-bent on exacting vengeance on humanity by killing people one at a time via the pretty inefficient method of selling them pets... or if he was just lonely and grumpy too.)

This story starts, as many of the greatest stories in history do, with a talking frog.

"Rapunzel's artistic skills are put to good use on the canvas of her shipmates' skin."

Professor Trelawney's prophecy about Luna really did seem crazy on the surface. But it was about to change everything she thought she ever knew about her life. (A crossover with the Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus series.)

Okay, team, let's go steal the Earth.

Extra stories for the Retrograde series.

"Do I look like that much of a damsel in distress to you?"

Angry, traumatized girls. Let's give them more weapons.

The humans are likely taking care of the conversations. Gaila and Kori can attend to much more pleasant diplomatic endeavors.

The best thing about “trade negotiations” is that no one is ever likely interrupt them.

Inuzuri, 78th District of the Rukongai, is dry, featureless, and hot, filled with thieves and murderers. It's probably just about the closest someone can get to Purgatory while still keeping to Soul Society. Fitting, Obito thinks wryly, that this is where he woke up.

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, oh my. (Or, Tobirama has a date. He will probably live to regret it.) Prequel to It’s Witchcraft.

In which Tobirama is sort of Obi-Wan, Madara is Anakin but not quite, and Obito and Kakashi don’t quite fit the roles of Asajj Ventress and Luke Skywalker but try their best regardless.

A refugee ship from a dying planet crash lands on the Southern Continent during the Ninth Pass. Can a handful of troll kids and a former Empress carve out a Hold and Weyr for themselves without giving too many hidebound Holders heart attacks?

For a prompt on my Tumblr: TOS!Sannin. Tsunade McCoy the grumpy, compassionate alcoholic with a heart of gold, Jiraiya Kirk the cocky and intelligent leader and womaniser, and finally, S'chan T'gai Orochimaru, the 'non-emotional' genius scientist with a not-so-hidden soft, gooey emotional centre.

Jim has a couple different lies he likes to tell about how he got his Jolteon, depending on his audience.

cosmictuesdays: Leverage meets the new Ghostbusters team.

They were in another timeline. It happened occasionally. Who even knew how Wade got involved. He was just trying to show Darcy how many tacos he could fit in his mouth (six), and then blammo: Big flash of light, whirling space vortex, the indescribable sensation of the universe contracting with you inside it to the size of a single electron, and then everybody was spat out in a heap on the sidewalk of a place that looked like -- but probably wasn’t -- New York, and all of Wade’s tacos de sesos were lost to the interdimensional void. “Nooo,” Wade whispered, heartbroken. “Tacos.”

From the other end of the ship, panting as though he has run from the depths of his workshop, Usopp is the next to let out a scream: “Why is there a SHARK ON THE DECK!?”

For a prompt from the lovely Holly: The Free! anime featuring Tobirama as a swimmer, with a water addiction like Haruka - and the same penchant for undressing at the first sight of water. Cue Madara blushing and flailing, while Tobirama gives zero shits.

fic where there is a supernatural threat to New York City and the Avengers show up to handle it but when they get there the Ghostbusters are already dusting off their hands and hosing off the slime

Sophie left SHIELD a long time ago, and now they want her back. (Eliot is livid.)

Started entirely by Syb la tortue, she introduced me to homestuck, the idea of quadrants and the concept of quadrants plus one piece to me. This picture: http://syblatortue.tumblr.com/post/29228514788/i-was-reminded-that-zoro-tentacles-is-a-thing-and and this one http://syblatortue.deviantart.com/art/Up-Close-and-Personal-342278201 are also to blame.

Just because Iron Man is the only guide who can actually pull Bucky and Steve out of a zone, doesn't mean that Tony has to tell them who he is.

Kate bends over to look at the little painted blocks on the end of her legs. “Aww, feet,” she says.

The Leverage crew run into a new friend, find some buried treasure, and fight some Nazis. It's a pretty good day.

One girl in all the galaxy.

When Gokudera died, taking a bullet for Tsuna, he expected to go to hell. Not wake up as a pink haired girly-boy in a world full of ninja. How's he meant to be the Jyuudaime's right hand in a world that doesn't even have a mafia? Clearly, he'll have to clean this place up before Tsuna gets here. REINCARNATION, Gokudera-as-m!Sakura.

Sasuke Uchiha is cheerful, forever smiling, and deadly with a sword in hand. Team 7 is cohesive, capable, and formidable apart but unbeatable when together. This world is better for all of it. [OR: Takeshi and Sasuke are one and the same. Mafioso and shinobi aren't so different, after all.]

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

Orochimaru and his sons crash-land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what’s coming.

What could be more important than baseball?

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universe the ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka