anonymous asked: wolfbrothers johnjadekat

All Derek wanted was for the woman to leave him alone and ring up his groceries. How that led to her thinking Stiles is his boyfriend is something he blames on Stiles and his inability to stay out of trouble for five minutes.

Alternate Title: "Dick Failwolf, Private Eye." (Or, Derek's hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.)

The five times Derek called the Sheriff "Dad" on accident and the first time he did it on purpose.

Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

When Clint Barton put on the Captain America costume for a mission, he didn't count on Phil Coulson's reaction. Coulson didn't count on Clint crashing his new team to do something about it.

Stiles dates a sex demon. Derek doesn't approve. It all goes about as well as expected.

"Hierarchical triple systems comprise a close binary and a more distant component." - www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov Darcy’s been cagey in regards to the whole 'bi' topic, because it’s complicated. Or, okay, people think it’s complicated, but it really isn't and she doesn't want to handle the barrage of inevitable questions. Especially not from Jane, who asks questions like it’s her job (which it kinda is) and might cotton on to the fact that Darcy thinks she’s hot. Like, 'Jodie Foster in Contact' hot, except without the interstellar daddy issues. (Later, Darcy will remember this thought and laugh and laugh. And maybe also want to cry.)

Oshie really wants Kaner to measure Jonny's dick.

Jack would just like to take the time to remind everyone to hang onto their weapon of choice when accidentally going through the experimental snow globe, because otherwise you'll end up who knows where without a staff and only snowballs to help you. Or: Jack doesn't know where he is, he sure doesn't speak the language, and he just knows talking to those giant rabbits will go badly. The little one, however... That works out just fine. Series

Jack didn't forget anything. He lost everything. It set him down a different path than the one the Moon had intended. A darker, more violent one.

Cougar keeps popping up next to Jensen after that. And much like Jensen’s sudden influx of facial hair, Jensen decides to keep him.


"When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right. That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways."

Darcy instructs Steve in the finer points of safer sex. The conversation doesn't go exactly the way she expected.

It was an accident.

Brian has hidden his submissive orientation most of his life out of necessity more than desire and he's been fine. Really. Until he meets Dominic Toretto then fine doesn't really fit the situation anymore. A BDSM-universe AU of The Fast and the Furious.

"Stiles’ first memory of his mom is green. Her green eyes, her green dresses, her green scarves, her green blouses and her green barrettes."

five times Patrick Kane unsuccessfully flirted with other Olympic athletes, and one time he didn't get shot down. with Kane being cheesy and persistent but not creepy or coercive? het and/or slash bonus points for Kaner trying to flirt with both Lamoureux sisters (either separately or together) and crashing and burning miserably :P

Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis. Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”

There's a curse mark on the back of Sidney's neck.

She likes to drive; he needs things to do with his mouth and hands....

F&F alternate ending: the judge clears Dom of all charges, releasing Dom to Brian's custody.

Brian has hidden his submissive orientation most of his life out of necessity more than desire and he's been fine. Really. Until he meets Dominic Toretto then fine doesn't really fit the situation anymore. A BDSM-universe AU of The Fast and the Furious.

Running means a new series of harsh realities.

Winona is called to fix the cock-up of the Yorktown's engines. She uses one of the science-bitches to help her do it. & This is not exactly what Jim thought the 'exploring strange new worlds and exotic civilizations' was about. Also, Vulcans are kind of crazy. Jim and Spock go through a alien ritual, which, yes, changes everything -- he's hoping for the better. Spock just wants to get through this with his sanity, if not his dignity, mostly intact.

Abed only wants to be tied up when he's Batman. Annie only wants to do the tying when she's Annie. Troy's up for anything, especially if it involves butts, nipples, or kissing. Best. Scene. Ever?

"When Kon gets hit with sex pollen, all he wants is Tim."

It occurs to Troy one day that a lot of Abed's films involve the two of them having sex.

They've never been evil before.

For the prompt: "Troy takes control of the Dreamatorium one day and enacts a fantasy that he wants."

For the crossdressing square of my KB 2011 card.

Abed made the announcement two weeks before the semester ended. "I'm transferring," he said placidly, and the conversation around the room came to an abrupt halt. "Come again?" Jeff said flatly, slouched back in his seat. "I'm transferring," Abed repeated. "I got into the NYU film school, and they're taking most of my Greendale credits so I'm moving to New York this summer."

Author's summary: Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

It’s not even a big deal. Frankly, Derek doesn’t understand what Laura’s problems is when she’s the one who used to tease him so much about his compulsive gym rat routine.

Troy leaves. The group adjusts. Abed is selfish.

In which Abed and Troy learn how to be boyfriends and Britta moves in while they're not looking. Canon compliant through 4.10.

Things aren’t going according Annie’s plan. The gang graduates.

Troy and Abed and Annie in the bedroom! (Or, how Troy and Abed asked Annie to join them, and how she figured out that it was okay to say yes.)

In which the folks from Greendale are in the Kickpuncher fandom and it causes about as much trouble as you'd expect.

Surprisingly enough, Ivy didn't like getting fruit baskets as thank yous. Jason'd have to find something else to send her.

“Won’t you tell me what’s wrong, Gizheurann?” Mom asks when she finds you sobbing beneath the apple tree. The sound of your name only makes you cry harder. You hate it, like you hate everything about yourself, right now. Stiles has always thought he was under a curse. Fortunately or unfortunately, he's not the only one. Originally written for Mating Games challenge #5.

"Actually, you know, I get it. Rogers would be an excellent MARRY choice. You know that he'd never leave the toilet seat up, would never drink the last of the milk, and would clean the rain gutters without prompting," Darcy says. She's never really considered Steve as anything other than Captain America who is impossibly unapproachable; weirdly enough, the things she finds intimidating about him as a person oddly work for her in a domestic setting. "Ugh, plus you just KNOW Barton would be the type of fucker that would eat the last oreo and then shove the empty box back into the cupboard." "So what's your list then, Darcy?" Jane asks, turning back to look at the mold, which has done exactly fuck all in the last half-hour. "Don't rush me! I need to make an informed, calculated choice." Darcy looks down at her pad, then back up at Natasha. She purses her lips in thought. "You've fucked Barnes, right? How dexterous is that metal hand?" -- The ladies of SHIELD play a mass game of MARRY FUCK KILL, Avengers edition. Wherein everyone marries Steve, kills Tony, Jane betrays science and Darcy hypothetically turns Thor into a llama.

Five Times Jonny Noticed Kaner and One Time Kaner Noticed Her Back “I mean it, Tazer baby. We’re gonna show those boys how it’s done.” And Jonny looked her up and down one more time, before reaching out to tug a few curls into place, flicking her on the nose once for good measure. “We always do,” she said, and her gaze was locked on Kaner’s and Kaner felt like she could take over the entire world.

"Thirteen year old Pat Kane has short hair and a shorter temper, stands at five foot nothing and wants you to know about it. He plays hockey like he'll die if he can't, and if you have a problem with him, you have a problem with his whole team. That's the way he's always wanted it."

Loki is Thor's sister, not his brother. The events of Thor go somewhat differently.

Clint is an omega who isn't interested in mating. Ever. That doesn't mean he wouldn't like a romantic partner, though. Unfortunately, he's never found anyone who was okay with the whole lack of interest thing... but there might be hope yet.

Tony used to think that the 1940s were repressed. Steve's repertoire of racy songs makes him reconsider.

Her name isn’t really Darcy, of course: her true name is something much older and a damn lot more powerful. Norse gods weren't the only supernatural beings in New Mexico when Thor was there.

The first thing Tony says when they come down to breakfast the morning after moving into the Tower is, “So, you two are together, right?”