Derek's expecting the new guy. He's expecting another mostly-useless college kid who doesn't know one end of a horse from the other, and Derek doesn't have the time to babysit. What he's not expecting is Stiles Stilinski, who carries on conversations with the livestock and gets maybe a little too chummy with Isaac and is really kind of stupidly perfect in every way. And it's just distracting, that's all.

Even though he’s making fun of it, Stiles thinks the whole thing sounds awesome and, like most stuff these days, the experience is going to be totally wasted on Scott.

Written for a prompt on the kinkmeme. TFLN: My dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for Sunday brunch next week. You in?

kalpurna: is it weird that I want an original character to call Stiles a cock tease and Stiles is like WHAT and Derek is like what. drunktuesdays: lol that's so specific! why? kalpurna: BECAUSE YOU MADE A TUMBLR POST THAT USED THAT PHRASE AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TEEN WOLF + PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO GET ON STILES'S DICK AND DEREK SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT???? MAYBE I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT STILES TEASING COCKS???????????????? For Kalpurna, from whom I stole all the best lines.

Derek is in the cell for about ten minutes before the lone door opens and a new body is tossed in. The person hits the floor with a grunt, rolls, and stands as the door is clanging shut. “That’s really not the way to treat a guest!”

In a world where Hunters and Witches have formed an alliance to protect humans from Rogues, Dean Winchester is a Master Hunter. The last of a long line of Hunters, Dean is on the trail of Azazel, one of the most powerful Rogues that has ever existed. Knowing that he can't Hunt the Rogue alone, Dean visits the city of Nouvelle Orleans and the High Witch who holds it. She offers him her heir, Samuel, and the two leave. In their search for Azazel, they find secrets buried beneath secrets and a stunning revelation that could change the entire world.

Dean figured that once the apocalypse was over, the books would stop. Their destiny was done, right? Chuck didn't need to keep channeling them.

David stared up at him as he came to the table, and then Cook put a hand on David's shoulder and leaned over him. There was a really—really—weird moment when David thought for a second that Cook was about to—was going to—and David's stomach squeezed into a tiny knot, but Cook was just reaching over to grab the jacket he'd left on his seat.

AU. It's not exactly that Lydia wants to set Danny up with her high school friend, it's more that she doesn't want to deal with him, and she'd rather make Danny do it.

Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

Building a pack, one messed-up set of dynamics at a time. Post S2, slow-build Sterek, Stiles-centric, multiple POV fics. Jossed by early s3 Jeff Davis reveals and extending into a future fic. Bamf!Sheriff, magic!Stiles, ambiguous!Peter, and all the drama Beacon Hills can provide. Warnings for shifting and poly relationships, meta and all the literary and film nerdery that being around Stiles would involve. Also, general warnings for any and all characters undergoing: gore/medical trauma, PTSD, grief, angst, angst, angst (did I mention angst), pining, identity issues, sexuality crises, violence of magical and non-magical sources, homework from Harris, college applications (the HORROR) and general WTF IS MY LIFE kinds of reflections. Sunnydale Beacon Hills is like that.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES -- CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS. CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora. TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny. CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE? TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored. CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:B

"I like your bass," says the creepiest fan who has ever managed to get Mikey alone. "It sparkles like danger."

"I have called you to give you a warning," the dragon said. "A red moon rises over Camelot this night. The Wild Hunt will ride."

Chris is tired of pretending she plays for the other team. It doesn't help matters that she has a hot best friend.

On Saturday, Parker – or Alice – meets Peggy for coffee. The whole coffee part of the thing is an ordeal: entering the building by the front door, standing in the line with all the other customers, ordering a drink and sitting down without even having the pretext of scoping the place out for potential thievery.

In which dragons & ghosts & prejudices are confronted, Merlin wears a hat (twice) and a dress (once), Arthur breaks some crockery (lots), there are more pranks than pillowfights but at least one of each, and many secrets are revealed.

Before seeing the picture, she'd just slotted Neal Caffrey in as one more thing Peter's brain couldn't let go of, and amusing yourself while your spouse hunted down the greatest international art thief of the age was certainly classier than being a football widow.

A series of (relative) shorts focused on Mary Morstan from the 2009 Sherlock Holmes film.

Adam likes to take pictures of Kris. Kris becomes a civil rights leader. Kris and Adam finally master Twitter. Also, Adam can't really help the things that happen in his presence.

Ryan plans weddings! Just not gay weddings. Ok, maybe just this once.

"I hope you picked someone really intelligent, otherwise it seems like it would be kind of a waste. Of incubation time, if nothing else."

Rodney steps up. (Warning, I should probably be shot for this.)

VIIVIII Sephiroth is not a mess easily cleaned up. In their Garden, the SeeDs find themselves with two new problems on their hands: a psychotic, silver haired mass murderer, and Cloud Strife, determined to finish what Jenova started.

Eliot cooks. Alec likes it.

“Chuck,” Becky said, slowly and carefully and very, very seriously. “I think someone is trying to communicate with us through the fanfic.”

Kurt revenge-seduces Jesse St. James. The glee club helps.

Arthur's a corporate lawyer, Eames owns the coffee shop across the street, and all good love stories start with a quadruple shot latte.

Oblivious High School Failboats in Love, or, Brendon Urie: The High School Years.

So, things happen when iphignia939 and I talk. Sometimes these things involve puppets. Other times they involve sex-slave collecting evil twins from alternate dimensions (what? is that unusual to talk about?). More often than not, it ends up involving Pete and Patrick... and sex. Tonight we started talking about the bad drinks and sex bathroom at Angels & Kings and some how ended up with this.

Pete accidentally "outs" himself and Patrick on Good Morning America. Only problem? They're not gay. What now?

Real Forever If: Excerpt:The main thing he'd been thinking, that whole last week, was that when it was over, he'd finally be able to breathe again. He didn't know what else could've been making him feel so weird, the awful tightness in his chest every time he was in the same room with Cook, the way his stomach just kept clenching up and jumping. Spellbound: in which cook gets his own prince.

This is a zombie-fied version of the fairy tale, and it's amazing! *flails* I really recommend it if you like rewritten versions of fairy tales and/or zombies.

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

Dr. Brennan is pretty much okay with brother-on-brother action. It's just everyone else who needs convincing.

Um, Daemons! at the Disco! Or something. In other words, an AU set within the general timeframe of Panic's Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour.

In which Clark is a not-so-mild-mannered reporter, Lex is a biological fugitive, and someone is mold.

Frank bemoans the fact that the Way brothers are motherfucking cockteases. Gerard is VERY VERY SINCERE. Mikey shrugs. Often. Pete just needs a profound deep dicking. Frank can maybe help him out with that.

Finn helping Puck get his act together with Kurt

The main thing he'd been thinking, that whole last week, was that when it was over, he'd finally be able to breathe again. He didn't know what else could've been making him feel so weird, the awful tightness in his chest every time he was in the same room with Cook, the way his stomach just kept clenching up and jumping.

So a Sumeragi walks into a BDSM club and says, "Ouch".

In an alternate universe where Sirius Black never went to Azkaban, Harry divides his life between the Dursleys' house and Mr. Black's bookshop -- until Sirius realises what the Dursleys are doing to him, and takes him away from their care.

OKAY OBVIOUSLY I COULD NOT RESIST THIS:

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

Derek thinks he's doing alright in life, with his family at his side and a job he loves. Despite his family's concerns he remains adamant that he doesn't need a mate, afraid to take the risk of letting anyone close enough to try to hurt his family again. That is until he realizes that his true mate has been right under his nose for years, and that now through his inaction he may lose him.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

kalpurna: is it weird that I want an original character to call Stiles a cock tease and Stiles is like WHAT and Derek is like what. drunktuesdays: lol that's so specific! why? kalpurna: BECAUSE YOU MADE A TUMBLR POST THAT USED THAT PHRASE AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TEEN WOLF + PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO GET ON STILES'S DICK AND DEREK SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT???? MAYBE I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT STILES TEASING COCKS????????????????

There is something dangerous inside of Q.

Of course he’d have his big gay revelation about his former teammate, in Columbus, during the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse. That is the life of Jeff fucking Carter, as fucked up and pathetic as humanly possible.

"The likelihood of finding a cab on Christmas Eve is fast approaching nil." "So was the likelihood of you kissing me in the middle of the pavement, and yet."