“Dave, um.” You haven’t seen Tavros this thunderstruck in a while. He points at you with one long, clawed finger. “What are you wearing?” “Oh this?” You tilt your head so that the light catches on your shades, the corners of your mouth quirked in the faintest of grins. “You can thank Egbert for pointing out the irony in our failing to ironically incorporate a literal interpretation of your preferred IM handle into our sex lives. Though we might have to sit him down and have a talk about the appropriateness of buying lingerie for another dude’s dude, if you know what I mean.”

For the prompt: i'd like either john/karkat or rose/kanaya, where the troll language is very different from english, and karkat/kanaya keeps lapsing into their native language during cute or ~*intimate*~ moments.

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.

Everyone in their life has had a little case of hero worship. A tiny crush on a celebrity. A teenage infatuation. Dummy Stark-Rogers is not any different. And the Mars Rover Curiosity is a stunning piece of tech.

“Write what you know” was good enough advice for Jo March, so it’s good enough for Patrick Kane.

Stiles looks up. Slowly. “Holy shit,” he says. The tentacle is attached to more tentacles which are attached to a giant glowing squid thing. “That is not the droid we were looking for.”

"The Bastard is not in love with me, and I can prove it. With science!"

“See? I need my daisy crown or I won’t get Chased.” Stiles frowned. “And then I’ll have to do it again next year. I really don’t want to do it twice.” The good and the bad of getting Caught this year included not having to do it again and the bad was he’d have a werewolf mate for the rest of his life. Stiles is seventeen. He has a lot of life to live. Unless his wolfy mate has no sense of humor or a temper. Those with no sense of humor and tempers tended to hate Stiles the most and wouldn’t that suck? Being tied to someone for the rest of his life who hates him. That actually sounds like his type of luck. “You’ll be fine.” Allison beams because she’s a sweet person and can obviously read Stiles like a picture book aimed at toddlers. Aconitum: She weaves wolfsbane in her hair to throw off the scent, but the underlying smell of mate and mine is still there. Based off of hoars' fic Festival of Red and basically me just wanting to see more Pyida interaction.

“Write what you know” was good enough advice for Jo March, so it’s good enough for Patrick Kane.

“I kind of proved a lot of people wrong and proved to myself I can play this game in this body.” - Pat Kane Genderqueer AU.

In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

Alec Hardison, if pressed, would probably suggest that he subscribes to a post-modern definition of identity.

David stared up at him as he came to the table, and then Cook put a hand on David's shoulder and leaned over him. There was a really—really—weird moment when David thought for a second that Cook was about to—was going to—and David's stomach squeezed into a tiny knot, but Cook was just reaching over to grab the jacket he'd left on his seat.

Parker recruits Eliot for a side job. Comedy and horror ensue.

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

Caroll, Franklin R. Atlantis Revisited. New York and London, Routledge, 2011. Chapman, Denise. Several Kinds of Genius: The Life of Rodney McKay. NY: Harper Perennial, 2015. Croft, Rosalind. City of Spires: A Memoir. Toronto: The Mercury Press, 2009. Dugan, Paul. A Political History of Atlantis. Oxford: OUP, 2012.

The Mending That You Need: “He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.” The One Where Derek Almost Dies: "You remember that one time you got shot and almost died in my car? And that other time when... well, you were shot then too and almost died in my car... again. What is it with you and almost dying in my car?""

Arthur, Merlin, frat brothers, the Dragon, Arthur's BlackBerry, script writing, shitty hip-hop music, Dogma, FATE & DESTINY - oh God I wish I were joking.

Eva Lysacek has been in competition with golden girl Janie Weir for most of her life.

Sam and Dean go to Hogwarts. (spoilers for All Hell Breaks Loose, Deathly Hallows)

"The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court."

"Seriously?" says the clerk in the bookstore. "You seriously tried ordering this from Amazon?"

Luthor Family Values.

Teaching old dogs new tricks. (Set in mid season 3.)

“Chuck,” Becky said, slowly and carefully and very, very seriously. “I think someone is trying to communicate with us through the fanfic.”

"When she came to the palace, the king had a wife. It's important to remember that."

In which Gerard Way takes a stand against discrimination, Adam Lambert discovers the importance of dice, Kris Allen is not kidnapped against his will, and the folks at 19E learn to love the stage!(?)gay. Welcome to the Zombies Ate Your Idols tour, 2010!

Real Forever If: Excerpt:The main thing he'd been thinking, that whole last week, was that when it was over, he'd finally be able to breathe again. He didn't know what else could've been making him feel so weird, the awful tightness in his chest every time he was in the same room with Cook, the way his stomach just kept clenching up and jumping. Spellbound: in which cook gets his own prince.

Arthur is a BNF and Merlin is his prized beta

Dr. Brennan is pretty much okay with brother-on-brother action. It's just everyone else who needs convincing.

"Okay, that," he says carefully, "you weren’t supposed to see."

the one where Gerard and Mikey are orphans.

his season of Project Runway becomes infamous for reasons beyond the quirks of the designers, Matt P.'s ousting, Pete's apparently crippling co-dependence on Patrick, and the rumored trysts between Mikey and Pete spawned by their formation of the Sweet Little Dudes Club (and the resulting matching t-shirts).

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

The main thing he'd been thinking, that whole last week, was that when it was over, he'd finally be able to breathe again. He didn't know what else could've been making him feel so weird, the awful tightness in his chest every time he was in the same room with Cook, the way his stomach just kept clenching up and jumping.

If Kirk was a maths genius, and never took Pike up on the dare to do better, but still managed to get to Starfleet? This is what that would look like.

The last thing you want to do with the guy you've been hung up on for ages is teach him how to be decent at sex. So of course, that's exactly what Geno does. Featuring interfering Russians, thorough devirginization, and equal parts alcohol imbibing and hockey playing.

As the writer and performer of the original song, I decided it was time that I remake this with other talented folks who can actually act all of the trolls (unlike me) and, well, create a version where “Perigee” is pronounced correctly… That said, I am proud to finally present to you this shiny new version of your favorite Homestuck carol—The 12 Trolls of Christmas!

In which Metropolis stays weird. sequel to: Conflicts of Interest

"They all think I’m your boyfriend anyway," John said. "Yes, so? You are my boyfriend," Rodney said. "Why is this a problem?" "They thought I was before I even was!" John yelled.

This season of Project Runway becomes infamous for reasons beyond the quirks of the designers, Matt P.'s ousting, Pete's apparently crippling co-dependence on Patrick, and the rumored trysts between Mikey and Pete spawned by their formation of the Sweet Little Dudes Club (and the resulting matching t-shirts).

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

You never told a single motherfucker walking this planet what went down here. Wasn't the business of nobody but you, him and God. She wasn't your mother or your girlfriend or even your motherfucking friend. Maybe if you told her, though, maybe she'd leave. You know you'd walk away from it if you could.

Geno can't. Sidney won't.

Geno can't. Sidney won't.