Who do you bloom for, in your lungs?

It doesn’t come up often, and Wen Qing didn’t plan it this way, but she has slept with all of the Yunmeng siblings (separately) and she’s not even a little bit sorry about it, it was all good.

Saving people, hunting things: the family business. Modern AU: the Nies are hit by a demon's death curse, which is NOT fuck or die - it's fuck AND die, a kind of reverse cultivation curse that's usually directed against cultivation partners, destroying their golden cores little by little every time they fuck. NOT a clever curse to use against brothers! ...except that the curse comes with a chaser: its targets share blisteringly horny sex dreams every night, as a way of encouraging them to go ahead and give in to the whole fuck-and-die schtick. Awkward. So it makes sense to search for a cure to the curse, right? Especially since the cure might actually help stabilise Mingjue's golden core. Obviously they have no intention of actually boning once they've got rid of the whole fuck-and-die curse... (...for the life of me I can't remember who suggested a Fuck AND Die trope on Twitter many weeks ago - evidently it has been living rent free in the back of my head ever since, though, and so here we have some Niecest.)

Following the war, Wen Qing had had something of a revelation. Namely, that the vast majority of problems in her life were due to the fact that she was surrounded by a bunch of idiots. (a getting-together story)

Two things happen simultaneously when their hands touch: first, the migraine that Xiao Zhan's been fighting all day dissipates so immediately that a loud gasp slips out of his mouth. Second, a torrential outpouring of warmth shoots up Xiao Zhan's arm so quickly that he almost loses his balance and falls off the bench. The next moment, Xiao Zhan drops Yibo's hand. He tries to convert the abrupt movement into something more graceful, but he doesn't think he succeeds. Yibo's eyes have gone wide. His neck bobs as he swallows. What the hell, Xiao Zhan thinks faintly, astonishment thick in his throat. He just manages to keep himself from passing out as the migraine lances through his head again with a vengeance.

In which there’s a jewellery thief on the loose, Tang Fan plays dress up, gets a mild concussion and also a boyfriend.

He’s inhaling his banmian in the small area where a few tables have been arranged for the crew when he remembers that he heard his phone ding earlier. He drags it out of his bag and thumbs his WeChat open, then promptly chokes on his noodles. Wang Yizhou sends Ji Li a shirtless, ambiguously horny selfie. Ji Li retaliates.

Tang Fan writes a new romance novel that reaches new heights of obvious pining, Wang Zhi takes matters into his own hands, a guest comes to stay, and Sui Zhou continues to be a irresponsible combination of jealous and oblivious. (This takes place somewhere nebulously in the middle of the series, but really it could happen at any point, no spoilers)

“He’s so beautiful,” Lan Zhan says, tongue loosened by the weed. Besides, Mianmian’s room is his safe space. He can say what he likes here, so he does. “I want to know what his mouth tastes like. I want him to put his mouth on my—” “No, no, no, no,” Jin Zixuan says, making an X with his arms. “For the love of Christ, keep it PG-13, please.” — In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

When he rejoins the Order in the middle of the Clone Wars, all Ferus wants is to help as many people as possible. An emergency mission lands him in control of the 501st before he even has time to catch his balance, though, and the disappearance of the Chancellor means there's no time to waste. The galaxy's Deep Core is a treacherous maze of deadly planets and old traps, and fighting their way through is the sort of thing that would push Ferus to his limits, even without a squad of clones to protect at the same time.

With a sound of quiet sympathy, Kit reaches out, tapping his knuckles lightly against Rex's pauldron. “Forgive me, Captain, but I believe you would be far more comfortable without your armor. The beach cannot be a pleasant place for you right now.” Rex pauses, almost startled by the idea of taking his armor off. He’s on a mission, or at least the disastrous tail end of one, and unless he’s on leave, he almost never strips down to his blacks. And it’s been…months, since his last stretch of leave that wasn’t cut off before it even started. “Oh,” he says dumbly, and then flushes, reaching for the clasps on his armor. “Right, sorry, sir.”

“I'm not going to stay with the ship,” Anakin says, outraged. Savage closes his eyes, not quite praying for patience, but—reaching for it, certainly. Having a padawan has been good for his self-control in ways Savage hasn’t even wanted to consider too closely.

When Mace joins the 212th on a dangerous world, it's meant to help them end the campaign there more quickly. But his presence there sets into motion something that started a thousand years ago, and won't be stopped so easily.

Nina looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Just keep the gloves on, then.” “What?” Kaz blurts. Or: Kaz Brekker conquers intimacy. It's both easier and harder than he planned.

Along with pining pathetically until he dies, Shang Qinghua's expectations for this post-canon world of Cucumber-bro's making are simple. They include managing the Ice Palace, eating, and maybe penning a few (less shitty) novels in his limited spare time. Retirement, boring and not fraught in the slightest. It's the least this old man deserves. The System, of course, has other ideas. 【Request received! More side quests will be made available to the Host. Please keep working hard!! ヽ(>∀

“Barriss?” Ahsoka hisses, bewildered. Barriss, in a fancier dress than Ahsoka has ever seen her in, covered in tattoos and dripping jewelry, freezes stock-still on the stairs into the casino, and Ahsoka feels the bright-sharp flare of her panic a half-second before she spins to face Ahsoka.

A generous allowance from his parents or Wei Wuxian in his life: Jiang Cheng would make the same choice a thousand times over, but his grad school stipend is barely enough to support himself, let alone the two of them. An arrangement with an older man might keep his head above water—if he doesn't wade in too deep.

sea_salt_waves said: I've been having all these feelings lately about a human Geno falling for sexually-repressed incubus!Sid who pays sex workers to jerk off for him and has never been in a relationship before, with all kinds of insecurities and pining… ... I didn't stick to the prompt perfectly, but it was definitely my inspiration. I hope you enjoy!

“Sid, I’m so—I’m sorry,” Geno said. “My stupid—I’m ruin everything, I—” “Shut up, Geno,” Sidney said, already intensely weary of listening to Geno’s self-recrimination. “You’ve barely even done anything.” Geno’s voice dropped what sounded like an entire octave. “But I want to.”

Sid didn’t introduce himself in the hallway, and he certainly doesn’t assume that people know who he is. So it would only be polite to thank Malkin again, this time more personally. He could write him a letter. An email? No, a letter.

It's not like Phil goes around telling people that his old team bought him his best friend like some people buy hookers. He can't really talk about it with Bozie, either, because Bozie will just say something like, "Come on, I provide the full girlfriend experience," which is so much worse than actually being offended.

Sid and Tyler come together at Worlds to win gold, commiserate about falling for unattainable teammates, and comfort each other with their dicks. However, when they come home those teammates might not be as unattainable as they thought and are getting the wrong idea.

Crosby’s Biggest Secret! For years, Crosby has been famously quiet about his personal life. But now sources close to Crosby have confirmed that the secretive star has been keeping an even bigger secret than we thought! Meet the heir to his hockey throne—a son! Geno almost drops his phone.

Geno ends up with red, white and blue hair after the Caps game, so he’s the first person sent to the new cursebreaker when they make it back to Pittsburgh. Sid is in the lounge when Geno comes back out. “I’m know her,” Geno says despondently. “She’s cursebreaker on staff for media at Sochi.”

Sid has had a lot of strange meetings as the captain of the Penguins but this is by far the strangest. “You want to me to do what?” Sid asks, hoping he’d misheard Mike. ***** Sidney Crosby goes off his suppressants for a chance at the Stanley Cup and love.

Zhenya nudges Gonch with his elbow. "Who is that?" he says in urgent Russian, jabbing his glove at the now retreating zamboni. "Who?" Gonch follows the line of Zhenya's gaze, blinks when it lands on the zamboni. "What, the driver? Him?" Zhenya nods vigorously, his eyes fixed on the zamboni. Gonch stares at him for a few seconds before answering with hesitation, "That's...Sidney."

The one where Sidney gets left at the altar and takes Geno with him on his would-be honeymoon.

Jonny's standard canned press response is that he loves Kaner like a sister...which is perfectly true, if you’re talking like on Game of Thrones.

If it's a choice between bonding and hockey, Zhenya is going to choose hockey every time.

They met by accident, fate, Geno always says, three years ago.

As a prince and an alpha, Geno needs to get bonded before he turns thirty. With his birthday fast approaching, he returns to Russia to find a suitable omega. The only problem is that Sid has secretly been in love with Geno for years.

Sidney always knew his family would pick who he ended up with. It was how things were done, and no matter what the outside world thought, he'd never questioned it before because it was just the reality: ice was frozen, getting checked against the boards knocked the wind out of you, one day Sid would be matched to someone his parents and the matchmaker and his aunts and uncles and his community thought was the best fit for him. And best of all, Sidney wouldn't have to worry about it. He would just focus on hockey. He'd deal with it one day. Eventually. 'One day' had seemed so much farther away when he was younger.

Sid comes out. This is what happens next.

"What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’ "We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal."

Sidney wants to lose his virginity. Geno helps.

Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?) Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

“Think the storm did it,” Sasha tells the kids over lunch the next day. Andre got last place in their morning skate shootout contest, so he’s paying. “Did what?” Willy says through a mouthful of sushi. Sasha points at him with his chopsticks. “Your powers,” he says. “Snowzilla comes, suddenly everyone’s mutants? Something happened there, no other explanation.” Latts strokes his chin. “Didn’t the Flash get struck by lightning or something? It’s not totally crazy.”

“It feels really good,” Leddy says, almost sheepish. They’re all eating lunch at Nick’s house after training, and Leddy still keeps looking around like someone could overhear. “It's a fucking trip, like - tentacle, eggs, but. It's good. I don't know.”

“I love being an omega,” Mitch says. He’s trying to stick his hair up into soapy spikes as Auston watches him tiredly from the other end of the bathtub. “I don’t have to do things I don’t wanna do and people take care of me. What’s not to like?” He pauses. “Plus, heats are sick.” “Really?” Auston asks, mind racing. Maybe it’s not too surprising. Mitch adores being taken care of, likes being babied and coddled; given gifts and affection. Marty got him a four foot stuffed bear from the cinema arcade a few weeks ago and his whole face lit up when he received it. "You like heat?" “Yeah,” Mitch says, and pats all his hair down before wading through the water, bending over Auston and bumping their noses together. He's smiling all sweet but Auston still feels like prey. “I really like it. You just lie there and take it and it feels so good ‘cause your body wants it so bad.”

It’s okay to be a wolf in the NHL now. That’s what everyone tells Dylan, anyway. To Podfic: "I Love the Riddles That You Speak" & "Race Like Falcons to Crash and Burn"

Mitch breaks up with his girlfriend of two years on a Tuesday.

When the PR team makes them do a couples quiz for the team's YouTube channel and Connor gets every question about him right, that's when Jack has to acknowledge to himself that, yeah, maybe they've become friends. or, Jack and Connor get drafted by the Seattle Kraken.

Once you play your first NHL game, your captain gets to take your virginity. That's the way it's always been. It's tradition. How can John say no to tradition? How can John say no to Sidney Crosby?

Paul didn't say anything before Borts was traded. Paul didn’t need to worry before then. Well. Paul’s a worrier; it’s not like he can just stop. Even though James is in Nashville, with Doms on his team to look after him, Paul can’t help but worry about him. It’s really not a surprise that he worries about the subs on his own team, too.

This mission isn't going anywhere close to plan, and Mace is never again trusting Obi-Wan when he says it will.

He doesn’t want a boyfriend, but he told Connor he’d find one, and he isn’t about to let Worries McHeadache have satisfaction at the hands of Dylan’s failure to find a significant other on Tinder.

You’ve got all this new equipment, bud," Sid said. "I need to figure out what I’m doing.” Sid’s curiosity was a horrible opponent. It had gotten them in this mess; had Sid not looked at Zhenya all those years ago with undisguised lust and said I’ve never kissed a guy, but…, then they would never have arrived in this tense standoff. Sid looked at Zhenya’s slit like he wanted to touch it, and Zhenya did not trust himself to stop that from happening.

Bly's new wife is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and she's graceful and charming and funny and so far out of his league that he's about to die.

Jon is not used to wanting anything, much less something he might be allowed to have. 

Tim runs into Jason while he's disguised as Caroline Hill. Jason doesn't see through the disguise and becomes increasingly fond of this mysterious woman. Shenanigans Ensue. ------ Tim scowls at Jason’s innocent act. “Miss?” he repeats, thinking for a moment Jason is mocking his disguise. “Uh, Mrs. or- fuck- it’s probably, Doctor, right?” “You…” don’t know who I am, Tim realizes. “You can call me Caroline.” “It’s nice to meet you Caroline,” Jason says, and Tim almost laughs at how absurd it is to have Jason being polite to him. “I’m Red Hood.”