Part of being your matesprit is learning how to swim. You don't know how Karkat got this far without being able to, but before the end of the night, he's going to learn if it krills you.

"The point," Karkat says, balling up the cape and tossing it over one shoulder, "is that I'm curious as fuck about your horrific alien biology, but you never take off any clothes, or let me see anything, really." "Oh, man," Dave groans. "There's nothing to see, jesus."

Life may suck but at least Dave still owns a copy of Grease.

Some days she maybe secretly wishes a tiny bit she didn't have to climb a rope to get home, but today she landed a miscreant in human jail to reflect on his crimes and she feels grimly victorious, enough to combat the fatigue. "Hallo the den of iniquity! I'm home!" she yells when she makes it to the landing, after she has spat her briefcase's handle out of her mouth. (The serrated corner almost gets her in the foot.) -- Terezi, Karkat and Dave do the totally ordinary suburban married life thing, with great success.

A podfic of "Dance With Me Tonight" by SecondStarOnTheLeft. "Arianne and Edmure’s wedding is the event of the decade, at least within their specific social circle, and everyone who is anyone is invited. Which means an absurd number of nephews, nieces, cousins, friends and assorted hangers-on, of course. (Otherwise known as "I can too write fluff")"

A podfic of "Of Flowers And Happiness, the Elusive Nature of Which" by Kimiko93. "Kinkmeme Fill: Cole learns how to make flower crowns. And then goes about giving them to EVERYONE, willing or not. Nothing but crack. With a little bit of fluff on the side."

Creative solutions for Seasonal Affective Disorder, Leverage style. (So. Much. Fluff.)

Victor has a thing for every new bit of Yuuri he sees. (It’s odd, when he thinks about it, how awkward he has historically been in everyday life in contrast with the way stepping onto the ice feels like fitting into a disguise, an alternate persona where he’s confident, alluring, captivating. Yuuri used to feel so invisible; Victor has made him blossom into someone present.)

Four Times That These Awesome and Patient Ladies Tried to Get Those Two Goofs to Just Kiss Already and One Time They Finally Made Out

Finn is somewhat underprepared. Poe is only trying to help.

In a world where everyone has a mark to identify their soulmate, Luffy is born without one. But that’s okay, because the future Pirate King doesn’t have time for boring mushy romance. His nakama, however, are another story.

Zoro gets lost, Sanji gets captured by the marines, the Strawhats break into the ship's prison, and they all escape with a bang. Not exactly in that order, much to the confusion of Sanji's cellmates.

…as witnessed, told, and suffered through by the Bravest Warrior of the Sea, Usopp. Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro loves Sanji. They are also, somehow, obliviously, infuriatingly, in an unrequited love with each other. Usopp thinks he can do something about it. He really should have had more self-preservation instinct than that.

The Inquisitor is an Avvar. Dorian tries to be understanding and make allowances for cultural differences. In hindsight, that was possibly his first mistake.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: omg Utakata and Haku making delicate icebubble art pieces in the winter and Zabuza scoffs at them but he still sits and watches them put the pieces together and even volunteers kubikiribocho sometimes because that hole at the end is a pretty good bubble ring.

Everyone talks to Shitty, including his Hausmates.

What do you get for the girl who already has everything and really doesn't want to marry you? A kidnapping, apparently. No, that doesn't actually make any sense, but as The Iron Bull is about to find out, Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos don't appear to actually consider themselves bound by the rules of common sense. Isabela just can't believe someone's actually paying her for this. Lucky!

yeah, they're dysfunctional, traumatized, and occasionally murderous, but they're a family, and sometimes they even act like it. the term 'Bat-Family' does sound an awful lot like a mirror to 'Crime-Family'.

In which Dirk has hell of computer issues/plays matchmaker, Calliope is revealed to be a big ol' pervert, and it's implied that the future of entertainment is a heavily edited version of an incredibly shitty fanfiction featuring hot unicorn on wizard action/violence. Also there's animes.

75% of what people say when they're joking is true. When it comes to Jamie and Tyler's fake wedding it's more like 99.9%.

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. Between robot invasions, mad scientists, and civil disagreements, they have their work cut out for them. Many Princess Peach references are made.

Something strange happened to Wade. Well, something strange always happens to Wade. But this type of strange involves an alien ray, Wanda (aka Lady Deadpool), and some slight errors with his regeneration in another universe. Luckily, the Merc with the Mouth has an Ultimate Amazing boyfriend and a newly adopted sister/doppelganger to help him through. Or Deadpool is atomized, and comes back home with lady parts.

Five times that no one was thinking of Shiro as a dad.

It was supposed to be an easy mission: a Galra base that was, for all intents and purposes, abandoned on a primitive planet. Get in, download the base's info logs, get out. Simple. Of course, when Lance realized he was going to be put together with Keith on this mission, simple went out the window.

Slumped in the common room, sweaty and gross, it started simply with: “No offense guys, but right now I’d kill you all for a chocolate bar.”

Of course, someone has to disturb the peace. “Hey Pidge! About the Blue Lion, could you-OH MY GOD YOU’RE BLEEDING!” Pidge looks down and finds that yes…they are. Huh. There’s a dark line of red running down their leg…hey when did that happen? Pidge doesn’t remember doing anything that could-OH. MY. GOSH. THEY’RE BLEEDING! IT’S BLEEDING BUT NOT THAT KIND OF BLEEDING.

or alternatively titled "The Space Power Rangers Try to Figure Out If Shiro Has a Natural Winged Eyeliner Look Going On Because He's Fly Like That or Not and End Up Failing"

In the name of family bonding, Roxy, Rose, Dave, and Dirk play a game of truth or dare. (They may regret this plan.)

"Yuuuuuri," Victor drawls, leaning his head on Yuuri's shoulder. "It's hot," he complains. He's already down to his t-shirt. Yuuri huffs a little, reluctantly amused. "Maybe you would feel cooler if you didn't drape yourself all over me."

Victor kissed Yuuri. You better believe all of these people have something to say about it. Or...Mari is exhausted, Minako is confused, Nishigori is supportive, Yakov is annoyed, Yuri is pissed, Phichit is the best friend anyone could ever have and Yuuri just wants to kiss Victor again.

Minako (20:32): I didn't know you could do a quad flip!! Minako (21:13): Yuuri when you are done with the press message me!!!! Yuuri (21:24): Sorry! More press than usual.

Yuri has joined the conversation. v-nikiforov: d i b s

Yuuri pounded on the back door of the strip club urgently. A security guard opened it, took one look at the desperate, drunk, giggling man in front of him, and started to close it promptly. “Wait!” Yuuri blurted out, trying to look serious. “Please, just hear what I have to say.” “Please listen to him,” Phichit begged, his eyes glittering with maniacal glee. “This might be the best thing that will ever happen in my entire life.” (post episode 10 - in which Yuuri gets drunk, Viktor probably gets a boner, and Phichit finally gives his best man's speech)

Victor wants to ask Yuuri to marry him and needs some advice. Yakov is perhaps not the best person to go to for that advice (or perhaps he is the best man for the job after all.)

“You feel like an idiot?” Yuuri exclaimed, gaping at Victor. “You didn’t turn into a drunken fool in front of everybody at the Grand Prix banquet!” “No,” Victor said quietly. “I just fell in love with a drunken fool at the Grand Prix banquet.” Yuuri and Victor talk back in their hotel room. Yuuri was too busy at dinner being embarrassed by the revelation of his drunken antics at last year's banquet to realize how hard it hit Victor to realize that he didn't remember that night.

From the Legendary Sannin, to Jiraiya's genin team with Namikaze Minato, to Minato's genin team of Rin, Obito, and Kakashi... Team Seven can't manage to hand in normal paperwork. The genin are either completely oblivious or having fun with this, the jounin-sensei are one step away from ripping all their hair out, and the formidable order of desk-shinobi is not pleased with this. And then there's Team Kakashi.

tide. noun. the alternate rising and falling of the sea, usually twice in each lunar day at a particular place, due to the attraction of the moon and sun. [Post-Wano] Sanji would kiss him if that were not a terrible, terrible idea.

"Oh? You can't kiss silver?" Viktor makes a mock-horrified face. "Silver? No way!" Ah. Yuuri recognizes this—Viktor getting into one of his bratty moods. Yuuri's never really tried to do anything about it before, and eventually Viktor always tones it back down, but this time, Yuuri wonders... He shrugs. "Well, I guess I just won't be able to kiss you then."

AU in which everything's the same except Luffy's a selkie. “What does the future Pirate King want with me?” Zoro deadpans at the skyline of blues above, humouring the sunlight-wielding, ocean-wearing oddity of a man before him. Luffy throws his arms wide and snickers a reply. “To get married of course!”

The thing is. People always assume it’s Yuuri who’s the submissive one. They’re completely wrong, all of them. “Victor,” Yuuri murmurs. “What did you do, nights before a big competition? You never got nervous energy you couldn’t work off?” “Well,” Victor says like he’s considering. “To tell you the truth, times like that, I would mostly jerk off," and that's enough to give Yuuri some ideas.

“Do you…” the man trails off, frowning. “Do you dislike Prince Otabek?” he asks quietly. Yuri arches his eyebrows. “I’ve never met Prince Otabek,” he says truthfully. “But if he has to go to all this trouble to find someone to marry him, then logically, there must be something wrong with him.”

A year later, Sophie and Nate finally remember to get married. Looks like Eliot beat them to the punch.

Tim has a thing for buying sex toys (in bulk, Jason suspects) and Jason is constantly putting his foot in his mouth about what things his lover likes.

"Yurochka, I wish you wouldn't spend so much time with him. He looks like a delinquent." Yuri's grandfather doesn't approve of his grandson being whisked away by strangers on motorbikes, so Yuri introduces Otabek to him.

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Minato survives the sealing?

Sidney doesn’t realize it’s a new superstition when it happens; there’s no reason he would. It’s just the team on an outing before their fifth game against Ottawa, everyone loose and easy and ebullient. When they’re heading out to get some sleep, Geno gathers Sidney close, even closer than his usual, and Sidney can’t help smiling back, basically happy about everything. Geno’s an affectionate guy, and if he tends to get a little extra affectionate with Sidney, well, Sidney never minds.

5+ AU Headcanons rambling (sort of) fic: Naruto + AU where Team 7 gets a different sensei?

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

In which Yamamoto shows Squalo a new trick for dealing with Xanxus.

Yamamoto attempts to make Gokudera's lunch. Gokudera is not entirely impressed.